Fat Girls

[BritWhitney07]

Why don't guys ever date fat girls and why don't they flirt with them?? They need love just like skinny girls

[zab]

its the way that people are socialised into the world, models etc are usually thin things and they give men a sense of pleasure where as larger girls do not. but then again there are fat males or skinny guys that women ignore aswel, its an evil cycle controlled by al the 'people in power'

 

Zab

[BayAreaBabe86]

Honey, most guys are very shallow creatures! They most often want the prettiest girl, with the longest hair, the whitest teeth, and the best figure! It's the nature of a male. I mean why do guys bypass the ok lookin girls for the bombshell of the bunch? These questions will never be able to be answered honestly and truthfully. Theres girls out there, ALOT who don't like fat guys. But my answer is that most people in the world are shallow and having a hot girl or guy is almost like having a 1st place trophee! But remember just as many people out there who dont like fat people theres just as many who who love to be with a fat person!

[Day_Walker]

Thats not true, guys do date/talking to and flirt with "fat girls". There are some men out there who prefer large women and there are some men who really dont care if the girl is large. Fat girls to get love from somebody just the cultural norm is to stay away from them because of their size.

[Meow18]

Zab had a good point. Some girls don't seem to flirt with fat guys just as much as some guys don't seem to flirt with fat girls.

 

Not everybody is like this. You need to surround yourself by people who care more about your personality than your body. There are guys out there like this.

 

If you seem confident in yourself, then thats going to show and its going to make you look better. If you have low self esteem, try working on that.

[Yorkrose23]

I've found that men want women who are in the "medium size" range.

I myself am very thin and I never had men flirt with me.

If you're too thin, men tend to say that you are not womanly enough.

My sister is a larger woman and she got asked out all the time.

In the end, it all comes down to personal preference.

You need to meet someone who will not judge you based on looks.

It is hard when you are a teenager, but as you get older you will have the chance to meet more people and perhaps be more choosy yourself.

Don't waste time and energy on shallow men.

[zab]

i dont like to look at myself as shallow (big headed yes, shallow no lol) but im a model and ive been out with fat girls, thin girls, tall girls, short girls, basically everything but i do go for looks mainly, but then again i prefer personality as you cant have a relationship if you dont like somebody for who they are, well thats how i feel anyways, im a complicit male lol

 

Zab

[sisterlynch]

When we date and have sex with another person we are most likely making some investment in them as a person in the future. This is why fat people are less desirable as playmates, because they don't want to live, they are feeding themselves to keep from feeling something in the environment.

 

When they undertand that they are feeling sad or angry or frustrated, then they can use that emotion to control the addiction to food that they have.

[Breea]

In all honesty ...it really isn't fair, but that's life. There's really not a whole lot you can do about it. What I really hate is that someone can be a wonderful person, but they don't get the chance to show it because of people's judgement of looks.

 

I think men will always consider looks before anything else. I know there are exceptions, but I'm speaking in general here before someone gets upset at my view. But it seems the tables are turning a little, which I find funny in a way. Women are becoming increasingly pickier about a man's physical appearance.

 

Just be yourself and let your beauty shine from the inside out. Love yourself and someone will see you for what you really are. Best of luck.

[BritWhitney07]

All the stuff y'all are saying is what i hear all the time...I try to have self confidence and love myself but its so hard when people make fun of you like right in front of your face and call you ugly...

[69_king]

When we date and have sex with another person we are most likely making some investment in them as a person in the future. This is why fat people are less desirable as playmates, because they don't want to live, they are feeding themselves to keep from feeling something in the environment.

 

When they undertand that they are feeling sad or angry or frustrated, then they can use that emotion to control the addiction to food that they have.

 

Not all fat people are the same.

 

There are 3 kinds of fat people:

 

1) People who have the fat gene. I believe there is a gene for fatness because there are a lot of fat people who don't eat that much and try to lose wait but can't. They are born with it. My reasoning for this is that these people tend to all have a similar look in their facial structure, this hints to the fact that they have genetic similarities and I believe one or some of those genes are responsible for making them overweight.

 

2) People who have an eating disorder. This is usually a mental problem. These people usually are fattest in the middle sections of their body. There are lots of people who are actually in both categories 1 and 2.

 

3) People who are simply out of shape. These people eat normally and don't have the fat gene but don't get any exercise and don't look after their bodies that much so they get a little flabby but not seriously fat. These people tend to still have normal/slender limbs and face.

 

People in group 1 are never going to be really thin and its tougher for them, if they want to get in shape it requires a lot of work.

 

People in group 2 can get back to normal but this requires lots of work and may need psychiatric help.

 

People in group 3 can get back in shape in a matter of months or even weeks since they don't have any serious mental or physical problems.

[OceanEyes]

All the stuff y'all are saying is what i hear all the time...I try to have self confidence and love myself but its so hard when people make fun of you like right in front of your face and call you ugly...

 

Younger people can be pretty cruel, can't they? I wasn't even that overweight in elementary school and I was still picked on constantly. Even though this probably won't be of much comfort to you, I can tell you one thing: it does get better as you get older.

 

There was this one guy in particular I remember from my grade 8 class who hasstled me constantly about my weight. Of course he was one of the 'popular boys' who everyone seemed to like (or pretend to). You know what happened? I grew up and got a hell of a lot better looking and slimmed down completely in high school. He "grew up" and got fat himself, and now everytime I see him, he can barely even look at me (not that I care!).

 

It's hard to just *stop caring* about what people think, especially when you're still in high school. However, I think if you can start concentrating on yourself more and less on trying to please others, you will start feeling better. Be selfish for a while and basically say, "screw everyone who has a problem with me"; use your anger as a way to get going with life; start working out regularly and eating healthy food, volunteer somewhere, and basically just focus on yourself completely (which includes your studies).

 

Small-minded high school people who will insult you to your face are simply unhappy with themselves and have not been raised properly. Don't let people like this hurt you and keep you down - then they win.

 

There is one thing I can promise you hun: the more you push yourself to be better and stronger as an individual, the better you will feel altogether. With this comes confidence, and the strength and integrity to keep your head up.

[Blazintrav]

Okay as I guy I can provide some insight. As guys we like to go for what we know we cannot achieve, for braggin rights. That's why guys like nice cars, to show off and brag about what they have. It's really silly, but that's how our minds work. So when we have the opportunity to have something like a "bombshell" of a group we go for it. So sadly yes I know a lot of shallow guys. The problem is the media makes ridiculously skinny girls look like the norm, when really they are not.

[zab]

well they just shallow fools and they say things to you because they are insecure about themselves and thats the honest to God truth so dont stress, love yourself and if you so concerned about your weight then do something about it, its gonna take time to get into that perfect tone but at least you will feel as though you are looking better when you start, hope that helped

 

Zab

[CarterJonas]

Why don't guys ever date fat girls and why don't they flirt with them?? They need love just like skinny girls

 

Totally agree with you. There are people out there that look for more in a person than just their weight.

 

I am sorry that you feel this way at the moment, but hang in there and you WILL find someone who will appreciate you for yourself. It also gets easier as you get older.

[ShySoul]

Alot of people are shallow, sad to say. They buy into the idea that people who act a certain way, look a certain way, dress a certain way, etc., are more desirable. Society gives off this specific image of what is beautiful and attractive. For the people who don't fit that image or buy into it things are more difficult. But there are people who aren't concerned with things like weight. They appreciate who the person is, not how they look. These people seem rare but they are the special ones who will treat you right.

 

Try to not let others teasing you get you down. If anything, try feeling sorry for them at how they can be so cruel and judgmental. They are teasing others because there not truly happy with themselves. Have confidence in yourself and know that somewhere out there is someone just right for you, someone who won't care about weight because he likes you, everything about you.

[themanwhorocks]

what do you call fat? personally i like a bit of meat on the table, just don't overdo it.

[Stinkweed]

Come one. You can't say girls are much better... Anyway, yep, people are very shallow... I admit attractive girls do catch my eye, but I don't give it that much importance. I mean, I guess girls, especially in my school, that are way too attractive or fit, well, you can say most of them don't have the greatest of personalities... I mean, I just think they're sexy and all, but nothing that would make me like develop a crush or something... Or maybe it's just because those ones are not my type...

 

PS: I'm not stereotyping or anthing... I'm just talking about people I know.

[sweetharmony]

I don't think it's healthy to be too large or too skinny. Yes, everything is personal preference, but many people usually are attracted to an average, healthy weight. Perhaps I am a little shallow with what I am about to say, but I have to be attracted to the person I'm dating. I never go for model looks or muscular bodies. On the contrary. i am pretty realistic and I am attracted to classical, thin to average tall man, with boyish looks. I've been told that I am a cute, thin girl and I am attracted to the same. In fact, most of my girlfriends think I have bad taste. But I like a guy with a healthy weight. Intelligence, creativity and other personality factors play a more important role in the man I will date... but... I must be attracted to the man. A relationship cannot survive if the one person isn't attracted to the other. There are definitely men out there attracted to large women and some to anorexic looking skinny women. It's also about lifestye and people often choose others based on their own lifestyle.

[goddess23]

sweet, i couldnt agree with you more! and my taste is exactly like yours, except im not the cute girl, im the one who looks "devilish" lol...more hot then cute which i wish i was cute. girls tell me i SHUD be attracted to big manly guys. its tough, sterotypes are there, but i agree with being attracted to your partner. as well, some people look good chubby, and i know a lot of girls that are fat that dont have a PROBLEM finding guys. i will admit, society has made it such a way that skinny girls are probably hit on more, but thankfully there are many types of people in the world and someone for everyone. dont worry about it, you will find someone who will appreciate you so much and you will realize how wonderful you really are.

[sisterlynch]

It is also some kind of self esteem issue. You can't flirt with someone that has very low self esteem. It is like talking to a blank wall. They are rigid and they wont change.

 

Most people who are cruel to someone for any old reason are doing it to help push up their own self esteem.

 

Getting angry at people who really deserve to be punished helps too.

[evy38]

All the stuff y'all are saying is what i hear all the time...I try to have self confidence and love myself but its so hard when people make fun of you like right in front of your face and call you ugly...

 

You're right sweetie, it is hard to listen to teasing and embarrasment, said to your face. I can tell you this: lots of popular students do it because they have no confidence in themselves, really no more then you do. They are afraid and think that making fun of unpopular people will make them feel better about themselves, like they have more value. They realize in their twentys that they were very wrong. They often try to be friendly to the ones they teased. It usually doesn't work. They can tell that you feel contempt for them because it's in your eyes and you can see the shame and humiliation in theirs.

You will leave high school stronger, going into a life much better then the HS one you left behind. You will be better prepared for the future challenges you will face and the strength you've gained now will make you a winner. Once you've won one or two times, it will boost your self confidence in all areas of your life. You might even try to get a handle on your weight and choose a more active & healthy lifestyle, if your weight still bothers you. I took control of my weight the summer of my sophmore year in HS. I will say this though, you need to start working on your self- esteem now. Don't wait until your late 20's or early 30's to do that. You could make bad, life changing decisions if you wait.

The popular students won't be so lucky. They have often been cushioned from the hardships of live and will have to learn what you already know. That is, how to deal with adversity. Their life will become harder and they will face a public who doesn't see them as any more then anyone else. It will be a real wakeup call to them.

The teasing now is harsh, but if you learn from it, you will have an edge over the rest of your peers.

[BritWhitney07]

Thank you all so much for your help...I really appreciate it...and I am working on my weight...so far i've lost 30 pounds...but i have one question about self esteem...how do i get high self-esteem...like what are some tips for getting self-esteem...i heard alot of people saying that popular people make fun of others to boost their self-esteem....should I make fun of people to increase my self-esteem??

[wlfpack81]

Honey, most guys are very shallow creatures! They most often want the prettiest girl, with the longest hair, the whitest teeth, and the best figure! It's the nature of a male. I mean why do guys bypass the ok lookin girls for the bombshell of the bunch? These questions will never be able to be answered honestly and truthfully. Theres girls out there, ALOT who don't like fat guys.

 

Hey girls are shallow as well just over material things. I'll admit most guys do want girls who we are attractive too but at least we won't "sellout" for somene with money. A girl will totally go out w/someone she's not attracted to at all if he has money. To me that's jsut as bad. And to be honest I just don't find large women attractive. Yes personality matters but there has to be some sort of initial physical attraction there.

 

And before you go there I know I'm ugly and unattractive and I do feel weird for commenting on the looks of others when I'm no looker myself but I can't help it. Even ugly people still have opinions on how others look.

[evy38]

Thank you all so much for your help...I really appreciate it...and I am working on my weight...so far i've lost 30 pounds...but i have one question about self esteem...how do i get high self-esteem...like what are some tips for getting self-esteem...i heard alot of people saying that popular people make fun of others to boost their self-esteem....should I make fun of people to increase my self-esteem??

 

Oh babe, teasing others won't boost your self esteem any more then teasing you boosts theirs. Don't go there. The fact that you've lost 30 lbs is fantastic!!!!! It shows right there that you are a fighter. Take stock of your good points. This is what I know about you from this post.

 

You are a fighter.

You have the self dicipline to go the distance

You are articulate

You're here so you are clearly smart enough to get help, learn and change.

 

What other good points do you have? Write them down and add to them, every little good thing about yourself. Add to them as you think of more. Ask your friends what your good points are too. This is a good first step in building your self esteem.

Put it here if you like. We would love to here you brag about your accomplishments and good points.

Have fun!!!