Suffered an early miscarriage. Feeling lost.

[Seraphim]

Thank you. That link is lovely.

 

I know it was still early days but it still feels like a real 'loss' to me. I know people go through so much worse and I'm trying to look on the positive side that there was probably something wrong with the foetus and that it's better to happen now than further along but I just feel so sad.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your losses.

 

As horrible as these things are I feel better knowing I'm not alone in what has happened.

 

Doesn't matter the stage honey a loss is a loss. Hugs.

[pl3asehelp]

When my wife and I had one it barely bothered her at all while it bothered me greatly. There's no right or wrong reaction. If you need something from your partner, let them know.

[SapphireNoir10]

That also made me feel a lot better. I also lit a candle on the site you sent me and that kinda helped as well. So thank you for that.

 

All I keep telling myself is I had one good pregnancy and I have a beautiful son who is a gift i appreciate every single day. So I am thankful for that. I just hope and pray I'm blessed with another healthy baby soon.

 

I feel guilty I kept thinking I wanted a girl. Now I feel like I'd just be happy to have another healthy and happy baby.

 

I can't imagine what you've been through your so brave as well.

[SapphireNoir10]

Doesn't matter the stage honey a loss is a loss. Hugs.

 

Thank you. Every hug and all these kind words mean the world.

 

I've spoken to my mum and my husband. My mums been great about it.

[SapphireNoir10]

When my wife and I had one it barely bothered her at all while it bothered me greatly. There's no right or wrong reaction. If you need something from your partner, let them know.

 

Thank you. He's being here for me as best as he knows how.

 

I'm sorry to hear you both suffered a loss as well.

 

I don't think you realise how common it can be until it happens to you.

[Seraphim]

Thank you. Every hug and all these kind words mean the world.

 

I've spoken to my mum and my husband. My mums been great about it.

 

What I did too is that I've made kind of like a little memorial area for my lost babies. For my Liam I have his last ultrasound picture an engraved silver frame and I have some of my pregnancy tests and his funeral candle. And I keep them in the same places I have pictures of my oldest son. It is just to let my children know I have not forgotten them. I also have little journals on here where I talk to them.

[Seraphim]

Thank you. He's being here for me as best as he knows how.

 

I'm sorry to hear you both suffered a loss as well.

 

I don't think you realise how common it can be until it happens to you.

Unfortunately it is exceedingly common. People don't really know you're right until it happens to them. But actually most babies never make it

[SapphireNoir10]

My mum was saying when she had me and my sister most people couldn't or didn't do tests till they were very late on their period. So most people never knew about 'chemicals' or very early miscarriage. Now tests can pick up positives from like 10 days past ovulation. So more chance of knowing if something goes wrong. I read almost 70% of early pregnancies end like mine have but most people wouldn't know they'd think their period was a day or two late. If I'd never done the test I did I never would have known.

 

Thank you for the ideas Victoria. I will never forget the baby that will never be here but will always be in my thoughts and I know it sounds weird but I hope we meet again oneday in heaven or wherever we all go.

 

I can't imagine the heartache you have gone through. Especially the 2nd trimester loss. I can't think of anything worse. Hugs your way too x

 

I guess we all kinda think the bad stuff won't happen to us and when it does it's such a shock.

[pippy longstocking]

oh I agree ....when I started to lose the first baby I lost I just couldn't believe it .. I was 3 months , had just been checked in with the midwife , had my bloods taken blah blah ...it was shocking ...

 

I remember that day I was like rocking holding my tummy with " I will always love you " playing over and over ...crying telling mybaby how much I wanted him/her ...

 

I tell you , from that point forward I promised myself that every person I ever ever met on my journey gets to bend my ear or have a hug or whatever they need if they are going through this .

 

you will have many emotions saph ..when you see babies and baby clothes etc etc ... just respect that it is so normal to feel that way and a million women have broken down in the baby aisle for the same thing . xx You will have another baby ..I assure you of that x

[SapphireNoir10]

I feel like crying from the kindness I've received from you all here. That you and people who have suffered losses are strong and brave enough to offer words of comfort to others in the same situation. Kinda makes me feel better about the world and people...thank you so much.

 

It's a horrible feeling. It really is. I just pray we get a baby that sticks soon.

[_Asti_]

Be gentle and kind with yourself.

My miscarriage hit me harder than I thought it would. I felt silly grieving something that was only a few weeks along and tried to brush it off and tell myself to bounce back and get on with it....but it ended up coming back and biting me on the butt. It took me a good month of having a 'pity party' to work through it. And that's what was needed, to work through it and process it. With time I shared it with others and it was a HUGE eye opener to see how many people around me also had miscarriages....and what helped me to a certain extent was hearing people share they had 2..3...4..miscarriages! Some 10-14 weeks along. Just shocking! Gives you an almost humbling experience to know you aren't alone and even better...that these people did go on to have successful pregnancies.

 

Don't push yourself, feel what you are feeling and let yourself have time to process it. It doesn't matter if it was 4 weeks or 12 weeks. Its a loss. Its the loss of the hope of what was to come. And its a very odd thing to be so happy and hopeful one day and the next its all ripped away, that's what I struggled with.

[SapphireNoir10]

Sorry for your loss and thank you for your kind words

 

I guess I just assumed one healthy baby meant I'd have no problems in my future. I worried like mad through my first pregnancy and I could have lost him during his birth due to the cord being around his neck and his heart rate dropping and an awful labour. I kinda though I was done with bad luck!

 

I know that it's part of life and trying for a baby. That sometimes it doesn't work out, that my body did it for a reason. Yet I went from having a positive test to bleeding almost so quickly it was such a shock.

[Seraphim]

My first pregnancy was successful so I assumed too the other ones would be successful. Not so. This is a problem with my uterus though not my babies.

[SapphireNoir10]

As much as I would like more children. I feel that if my son is the only child I ever have that I am blessed to have him. As he truly makes my life worth living and so happy.

 

I'm going to keep trying. The doctor said with a miscarriage this early to treat this as a sort of 'period' and I can try again straight away.

 

That's what I worry about. As I had a pretty traumatic birth I worry if something is wrong with me not the baby and this will keep happening. I know I can only keep trying and go from there. As this was our first month trying I guess I can tell myself at least I seem to be quite fertile.

 

Honestly Victoria you are such a brave person. You've been through SO much more than any person should go through and you've come through it all.

[pippy longstocking]

As I had a pretty traumatic birth I worry if something is wrong with me not the baby and this will keep happening

 

no darling of course it wont ... every birth has its own story , every woman with more than one child will tell you ...one birth could be a dream the next absolute hell .

 

I know you are just processing things ..it is good to keep talking , keep pondering on here and not to be alone with your thoughts x

[DWNWRDSPRL]

As much as I would like more children. I feel that if my son is the only child I ever have that I am blessed to have him. As he truly makes my life worth living and so happy.

 

 

That is how we feel about our son. He too had a very small cord and it was wrapped around his neck three times.

 

He spend a few hours in the NICU but you ought to see him now! Taller than his mother at 13.

 

The worst for me........in our experience, was him asking for brothers and sisters. We came real close to telling him the last time but my wife didn't want to. I am glad that we didn't.

 

We decided that three miscarriages was enough and I had a minor procedure to make it a 99 percent done deal.

 

That may have been the hardest decision for me as a husband/father: to get that procedure. I struggled with it for some time. We were in our 40s so we decided that chapter of our story had closed.

 

Still.......sometimes I wonder if the fourth time wouldn't have been a healthy child.

 

But I just couldn't put her thorugh that again. I love her too much.

[mhowe]

Victoria is my hero!!

 

Having not had children, I cannot begin to know how you feel.

But I was just thinking today about my mum, and thinking...I will never see her again.

And then I realized...in death, everyone I know who has gone through it sees family...even "sisters" they have never met.

 

So...it calmed me. I will see mum again, when I die. And you will see the "child" you never "met". Think that.

It helps.

[SapphireNoir10]

no darling of course it wont ... every birth has its own story , every woman with more than one child will tell you ...one birth could be a dream the next absolute hell .

 

I know you are just processing things ..it is good to keep talking , keep pondering on here and not to be alone with your thoughts x

 

thank you again for all your kind words Star x

[SapphireNoir10]

I completely understand how you feel. I already think about 'what if's' like what would this baby have been like if they had made it?

 

I think you made the decision that was right for you and your family. I can understand why people don't want to go through it more than once let alone a few times.

 

So sorry for what you've been through

[SapphireNoir10]

Victoria is my hero!!

 

Having not had children, I cannot begin to know how you feel.

But I was just thinking today about my mum, and thinking...I will never see her again.

And then I realized...in death, everyone I know who has gone through it sees family...even "sisters" they have never met.

 

So...it calmed me. I will see mum again, when I die. And you will see the "child" you never "met". Think that.

It helps.

 

I'm sorry you lost your mom.

 

That's what I tell myself. we'll meet again I hope.

[BellaDonna]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is a devastating feeling to have a miscarriage. I have been there before and still look back upon it with sadness.

 

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. You have a little angel looking out for you. You will have brighter days, as time can help cure. Try not to let this hurt your hopes and dreams about having another baby. I always have a strange feeling when I think that if my first pregnancy had worked out, that I would NOT have my son. I couldn't imagine not having him.

[figur]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I'm wishing you the best.

[SapphireNoir10]

Thank you

 

I ended up having to go to hospital. They did a scan and saw a sac, but there was also bleeding outside the womb so they were worried about ectopic. My HCG was low, so they outruled ectopic and I have to go back to get my HCG checked again. The consultant has pretty much said even though my cervix is closed and there is still a sac that the pregnancy will end or is ending.

 

So it's ongoing at the moment

 

I'm obsessing over having more miscarriages in the future or that I'll never have another child

[SapphireNoir10]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is a devastating feeling to have a miscarriage. I have been there before and still look back upon it with sadness.

 

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. You have a little angel looking out for you. You will have brighter days, as time can help cure. Try not to let this hurt your hopes and dreams about having another baby. I always have a strange feeling when I think that if my first pregnancy had worked out, that I would NOT have my son. I couldn't imagine not having him.

 

Thank you x

[Seraphim]

Thank you

 

I ended up having to go to hospital. They did a scan and saw a sac, but there was also bleeding outside the womb so they were worried about ectopic. My HCG was low, so they outruled ectopic and I have to go back to get my HCG checked again. The consultant has pretty much said even though my cervix is closed and there is still a sac that the pregnancy will end or is ending.

 

So it's ongoing at the moment

 

I'm obsessing over having more miscarriages in the future or that I'll never have another child

I am sorry that this is ongoing for you love. I will pray for you. It is very possible that you will go on to have more happy healthy ,lovely children. My brother's wife went on to have three beautiful daughters after miscarriage. My mother-in-law miscarried her first child ,had my husband ,miscarried her third and then went on to have my sister-in-law. There are so many examples of women who have successful pregnancies after miscarriage. I know it is hard to contemplate right now it really is. Nothing seems possible when you are in this moment. But I do believe you will go on to have more children.