Boundaries?

[indea08]

My mom's side of the family is pretty close. My grandparents, three aunts and three uncles, four cousins. I have a brother who has a girlfriend and a two year old. I love my family, but as I'm getting older I'm finding that I need more boundaries.

 

I have a four week old daughter, so I'm sure that these feelings are magnified by my "new mom hormones", but I had these feelings before Baby came along.

 

My family will drop by for a visit, unannounced and uninvited, and will just come in the house without knocking. Kind of annoyed me in the past, but now that I have a baby, I can't stand it. Some days when she's fussy, I don't get to shower. When she's hungry, I breastfees wherever we're sitting, meaning it could be the living room. I really don't want an audience for this stuff.

 

When there are family gatherings at my house (which was today, prompting this post), my relatives will just walk in my room. Even if I'm in there with the door shut. And today, my brothers girlfriend was holding my daughter and Baby spit up to the point of needing a change of clothes, so I went over to get her and girlfriend stood up and walked right past me and took Baby into my room and started taking off her clothes. I had laundry folded on my bed (undies and all) and I'm just astonished that people think it's okay to just go in my room. Maybe I'm just an overly private person but I would NEVER go into someone's house, let alone their bedroom, uninvited.

 

I seriously feel like I have to lock all of my doors. Am I just being overly sensitive or is it understandable that I expect these boundaries?

[Seraphim]

No ,it is legitimate for you to have these boundaries. I'm surprised you don't lock your door mine are always locked. If anybody just walked into my house I would probably have a cow right then and there. You just have to tell your family you don't want them walking into your house unannounced or uninvited. And you certainly don't want them walking into your bedroom. I would say it politely though. Because you have always allowed them do this in the past they think it's acceptable. Just inform them that it is not.

[tjcalif]

Have you told your family that you would like them to knock or call before coming over? If you have then just remind them again and lock your doors. When they knock don't answer the door. And don't feel bad because you told them so after a few unsucessful visits they will call you lol...