I asked out a work colleague but he didn't respond :(

[dark angel9]

I did something stupid. I was at home on Friday night (last week) and had a few friends over. They know I have a little crush on a guy I work with. I don't even work with him much but I see him around once a week or so. He is not my boss or on my team. We have each other on Facebook and I know that he is single. At work we make small talk but that's about it.

 

So, egged on by my friends I sent him a FB message asking him if he wants to get a drink/coffee with me sometime. I saw that he read the message but he didn't respond. I felt really embarrassed and humiliated. I saw him around this week and I avoided him as much as possible. I just wished I never said anything.

 

So we were emailing back an forth about a work project yesterday and I was still feeling really embarrassed so I brought up that FB message. I said something like; sorry about the FB message, I was kind of pushed into it by my friends. I am feeling kind of embarrassed right now and would appreciated if we forgot about the whole thing.. He never responded to that either. I would feel better if he said "no worries" or something. Now I regret sending THAT message too.

 

I actually don't even like him that much, I just had a passing thought that he is cute so I feel really foolish. Ugh. Any advice?

[shellyf62]

Leave the subject alone & never bring it up with him again.

 

This is the reason why I never look at work mates as prospective dates, too much drama & issues.

[dark angel9]

Definitely true. If I didn't have to see him at work, I would have long since forgotten about it. I am still cringing right now.

[shellyf62]

It has happened to me too, sent a guy a message & got nothing back. Just need to try & forget about it & move on.

Just think you probably dodged a bullet with this one.....

[Geniuz khrist]

Dating or asking some one out is always a risk taking adventure. But it is what it is. I would just be as normal as possible around him. Not much you can do.

[Ms Darcy]

Stop talking about it with him! I think he's trying to use silence as a way to get you to stop bringing it up.

[Blue92]

You win some and you lose some, but at least you had the guts.

[dark angel9]

Stop talking about it with him! I think he's trying to use silence as a way to get you to stop bringing it up.

 

Haha yes. I am not the ignoring type, I thought that saying something would make things less awkward. Obviously he disagrees.

[Ms Darcy]

He might actually feel bad for not being interested. Hard to know what words to say to make you feel better yet keep it professional.

[DN]

Good for you for asking and don't let this put you off asking again. But don't do it via Facebook, do it in person.

[Michele32]

I praise you as well, that takes some serious courage A lot more than most people have, for sure. Just think of it as no big deal because honestly it really isn't. Think about a year from now, is it really going to matter? You will realize that it won't!

[Tanzi]

I asked a guy out on a date once .... and I ended up marrying him!

[Natasha24]

Like others have said, it's good that you had the guts to ask him out. It will be awkward for a little bit, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right?

For now, stop bringing it up, act as normal as possible, avoid him when you can, and it will eventually go back to how it used to be. In the future, don't date coworkers.

 

 

[abysmal]

Well, if you were polite in asking him, it just shows more to his character that he wouldn't respond at all. And you don't have anything to apologize for.

[Batya33]

Good for you for asking and don't let this put you off asking again. But don't do it via Facebook, do it in person.

 

That is exactly what I was going to write- it's fine after you've been dating awhile but it gives a much better impression in person (or at least on the phone and not in a voice mail).

[dark angel9]

Well, if you were polite in asking him, it just shows more to his character that he wouldn't respond at all. And you don't have anything to apologize for.

 

I agree with you. It would have been a decent thing to do (respond) especially because we are coworkers and especially because I now asked twice.

I mean how hard it is to write something along the lines ''no problem, you have nothing to apologize for" or something generic. It would have made me feel heaps better.

[Batya33]

I agree with you. It would have been a decent thing to do (respond) especially because we are coworkers and especially because I now asked twice.

I mean how hard it is to write something along the lines ''no problem, you have nothing to apologize for" or something generic. It would have made me feel heaps better.

 

Are you sure he checks his facebook email?

[happpybear]

ya i agree with the above poster who said that it reflects poorly on his character. I think it a bit rude that he counldn't acknowledge it and give a harmless turn-down. You had courage, but he did not

[dark angel9]

Are you sure he checks his facebook email?

 

Yes, I am sure. Both messages had the status of "read" within hours of me sending them.

[Ms Darcy]

I wouldn't say it necessarily means anything negative about him. He may have been afraid to reject you. It's work and people are sensitive about that.

[Klokwurk]

Should have asked in person - shows you are brave.

[Batya33]

Yes, I am sure. Both messages had the status of "read" within hours of me sending them.

 

I agree that he should have responded in some way despite the work environment. Please please do not take it personally.

[Jennifer89]

Bummer. But it could be worse, at least he's keeping his mouth shut about it and not going around talking about it. Just let it be.

 

Next time, ask someone in person (unless you meet them via online dating). Not having to wait for a response is much less intimidating.

[Reflective82]

If a guy wants to be with you, he will ask you out. So don't initiate with men in future x

[DN]

OP - just a reminder that this is 2013 not 1913.