haylie23 Posted November 11, 2004 Share Posted November 11, 2004 Hi, my name is Haylie. I have been living with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. We moved to quickly, we decided to move in together after about 3 months of being together. I was only 20 and he was 23. That was a wrong decision from the start. I had strong feelings for him, but I questioned if it was love. The reason I decided to move in with him was because my family and friends kept saying how perfect we were and that they thought he was the one. After hearing it so much, I started to believe it. Not that I didn't want to, but I was confused. Other things, like sex didn't come as quickly as that. We were both virgins. I always knew that I would wait until I felt completely ready. I think we waited about a year before having sex. Everything was perfect for awhile. My feelings just got stronger and stronger everyday. I was no longer confused about my feelings. I knew he was the one. After about a year, I was still in school and he had a good paying job (still has it..) and since I was so focused on school, I didn't have time for a job. He basically paid for my education, which I was thankful for because I couldn't have done it otherwise. Anyways, things were great for the first 3 years of the relationship. He proposed to me a couple weeks after our 3 year anniversary. I wasn't expecting it and I really wish he hadn't. We never even talked about marriage before this. It just never came up. I didn't know what to say to him. After he proposed, the reality started kicking in. I realized that I honestly never thought about spending the rest of my life with him and after thinking about it, I realized I didn't want to. He didn't seem too hurt that I said no. I'm sure he was though. I started questioning my feelings for him again. Of course to him everything is still perfect. I have found out from friends that he is planning on proposing to me again on our 4 year anniversary and he really thinks I'll say yes this time. I love this guy, but I'm not in love with him anymore. I'm not sure that I was ever in true love with him. I just don't know what to do. We have been together for almost 4 years and I was so young. I feel like I missed out on meeting new people. Obviously I'm lucky to have experienced this, but I think its time for it to end. He has noticed something has been wrong with me. I can't pretend all day. He always asks me whats wrong, and I'll say, "Do you think this is the way its supposed to be?" and he will just say that everything is perfect. I just don't know how to bring it up, or what to say. We share so much together and it would just create big problems. I guess I'm just asking for advice. Do I stay with this guy even though I'm not in love with him anymore, or do I add more stress to our lives by ending it. I'm just so confused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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