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Everything posted by DBL

  1. The way I look at it. I had less sight then you had. I can only go off the information you give. We aren't talking about hindsight now anyway. We are talking about how she is leaving you. That is the present. My 20/20 foresight says if you don't comprehend this now, it may be a drawn out process. Most people never think they do anything wrong. I can think back to a lot of things I done wrong in my marriage. Granted she put the nail in that coffin, but I know I bought the supplies. No I guess we can't be as smart as me. I learned as I grew. I can pick the signs up early. How many times you think back and say "I remember this happening, that should of been the sign". Well I know the signs now. There are some gerneral guides that you can usually see. Thanks for the comps on my abs. People don't ever pick me at 36. In fact as I was setting up a date with this chick, it was all good until I told her my age. She thought I was in my late 20's. I just have good genes..if you seen my sister you would think she was in her early 20's. She is 38 not an ounce of fat. People think she is my younger sister. Now I went on another date with a 38 year old and the waitress said she thought it was nice that my older sister would take me out to dinner. The girl said don't tip her, I gave her double. Anyway...I apologize if it seems I am coming off rude. I believe more in tough love and not cuddling like other members here. I don't believe in analyzing situations or trying to find reasons. If I thought you had a prayer to get her back I would definitely take a different approach. Relationships are cruel and you aren't the first to be blind sided. DBL
  2. I wouldn't expect much from him. Let him be if he wants to contact you, he will. DBL
  3. I wouldn't take you back. Maybe you should let him sleep with a couple of your friends or someting? That would be fair right? DBL
  4. I don't run away from problems...I'm just smart enough to know when the relationship is over. I'm not the one wondering why my wife left. I'm not the one dwelling on something that is obviously over. I'm not the one still asking my wife to come home. You don't want my advice I won't reply to this thread no more. Nobody here can help you because you just want to feel sorry for yourself that your wife doesn't want to be around you anymore. Honestly I'm thinking that there is another side to the story other then what you are telling us. I notice you never mention anything you do wrong, only what she has done wrong. Camber...I have to take your comments as a complement. The fact that you think it can't be my abs, means I must be doing a good job of keeping my body fit. Do I sense some jealousy from you? DBL
  5. Ohhhh..ok yeah you better the get your butt down there and pull the rednecks off him. Still wouldn't try to get a little sumpn sumpn, you may end up with a little sumpin sumpin for a long time. DBL
  6. Your relationship is over. He is just stringing you along incase something doesn't workout for him. I'm a guy, I done the same thing. All our lines are basically the same. People usually don't leave a relationship because it is not working out. They usually leave because it is not working out and they have interests in someone else. It isn't you fault though. You have a right to know where you stand. Your calls won't influence a decision that has already been made. If he needs this much time to think about a relationship then you need this relationship. As for you thinking you know him well enough to say "he's not like that", guess again. There been people in marriages longer then that who think they know their spouse, end up finding out they didn't know them as well as they thought they did. Forget the two extra weeks, just move on. DBL
  7. There is a difference between caring and being sensitive. If I can help someone then I will, but if they end up killing themselves, I won't lose sleep over it. My friendships are different then what you probably are thinking. When my friends "common law" wife and mother of his 7 year old son died. I talked to him for a couple of hours the night after. That was about it. None of us even went to her funeral. When my divorce was finalized we never discussed it. We talk about football, work, and the girls we date. Years ago friendship meant more to me and there wasn't much I wouldn't do for a friend, but there is too much hype on friendship. The friends I have now, if you put yourself in a hole, you get yourself out of the hole. It is kind of like when you have nobody to take care of you when your sick, you just don't get sick because there is nobody that is going to do anything for you, you have to do for yourself. I guess a common term that you may be familiar with is that we are not "enablers". DBL
  8. Your probably right Scout. I am probably the last person who should be giving out friendship adivce. The friends I have are a lot like me. Which is not having much sensitivity. We do for each other what needs to be done and say to each other what needs to be said. I guess we have to assume he knows his friendship better then we do and will have to make his own decision in what he thinks is best to help his friend. DBL
  9. At least you were honest about it. A lot of people would of just went with it already. You were probably showing some signs in the past few months that made your boyfriend uncomfortable, thereforeeee being overprotective and jealous. You can love someone and date someone else. There are no laws saying that you can't love more then one person at a time. DBL
  10. Or she is looking for crack money. DBL
  11. So if she was smelling him...what would that mean? DBL
  12. Ok what about the "Falling Down" one? I think it would be obvious if she was laying on the floor it wasn't anything to do with attraction. DBL
  13. Some of those symptoms can be a sign of attraction. Chewing movements Convulsion Difficulty talking Drooling Eyelid fluttering Hand waving Inability to move Lip smacking Making sounds Shaking Staring Sweating How do we know if their heart is racing? I think it would be pretty funny if he actually did forget to give her something in her order. DBL
  14. I would put him out of your life for good. Most of us all go through this. It is kind of like giving us hints to what we really want in life and in a partner. Now you know what things you don't want in a relationship and maybe some things you would want in a relationship. It is almost like one relationship prepares you for the next and so on. Once you start moving on, and being around other people, dating a little bit, your going to realize you wasted a lot of time with someone that just brought you down. Beec do you even know what you are talking about? So we should all dwell and feel sorry for ourselves and not move on. We should all sit there and wonder "why did my x do this to me?" while knowing we won't get the answer. I guess for some, like you, it is easier to not move on and dwell on situations and try to figure what went wrong. Now just because I disagree with your post doesn't mean you have to get all defensive. If you don't want to have a backbone that is fine, but don't encourage others not to have a backbone and to move on with their life and leave the past behind. DBL
  15. Maybe she was having a seizure. DBL
  16. You can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. From past experiences in helping my friends...you have to let them do what they feel they need to do and hope one day they snap out of it and see the light. You can be there all you want but if he doesn't want the help then it doesn't matter what you do. DBL
  17. Kimber your not going to find the answers, even if he gives you the answers it probably won't be the truth. You can't keep questioning what when wrong, or what you could of done more of, or why he said this or that. This is just part of life, this part now is over, you need to go on to the next part. I been in a lot of relationships, I used to analyze, question, etc just like everyone here likes to do, but then I realized it doesn't do no good. It isn't going to fix anything and it isn't going to benefit me worrying about it. I was married for 5 years, separated for half of that, finally divorced in July. I don't worry about what could of been, what could of happened. It's over, I didn't like the way I was treated and I just put it to my past as lesson learned. We haven't had contact since just before the divorce, I just moved on and started dating again. Can't fix something I have no contol of and I can't change how someone else behaves. I can only control what I do in life and how I behave. DBL
  18. I think you screwed that up. Maybe she will come back. Maybe she won't. DBL
  19. Beec, Trying to figure it out isn't going to solve anything. Just gives you more to dwell on. Besides the chances of you getting the real answers are slim to none. So you are never going to get the real answers, so why waste your time. Why try to drag kimber back down with "what ifs"? I see only black and white. It is one way or the other, there is no inbetween. In relationships they either want to be with you or you don't want to be with you. There is no "I don't know". I agree with chibby. You know what you have to offer someone. There will be someone that will appreciate what you have to offer. It may not be the next guy you date, but as long as you don't settle for any less then you feel you deserve you should be ok. Your young, you have way more in life to experience before you settle down again. DBL
  20. You just have to move on, it's easier to move on when you are not distrated by the past and as mentioned above the temptation. DBL
  21. Take that to the grave. It shouldn't matter anyway, but just forget it happened. DBL
  22. If me and someone broke up and they started dating someone else, then it's over for good. It wouldn't help them get back with me. There is no time limit set to rebounds. I have known people to get out of a relationship and in a short time find the person they really want to be with. Other times it ends up a rebound. DBL
  23. Beec, why you analyzing her stuff. She already decided that she wasn't being treated the way she deserved to be treated. She has done everything she can. We don't need to make excuses up for this guy. Everyone wants to make excuses and analyze everything and give out false hopes. My now x wife was 10 years younger then me, there was never any pressure on the age difference from anybody. It is almost like some people like to give out false hopes here. There is no excuses for treating anyone bad, ignoring anyone, etc. Nobody deserves to be treated like that, so why make up excuses? DBL
  24. I agree with jackknive. Go see a doctor, they can give you antianxiety meds. Get some counceling while on the meds. I have anxiety too, so I understand how you feel and I was like the least likely canidate to have anxiety and social anxiety. So don't feel like there is something wrong with you. I used to be very outgoing and used to have fun everywhere I went...even sitting in college classes. Somehow, sometime something changed...I started to become self-conscious, started getting anxiety attacks everywhere. So I recommend getting help now, because it can wear you down. Don't listen to happytown's advice, it's obvious they don't have the type of anxiety you have. It isn't something we can control. I have tried to explain that to a lot of people that have no clue what anxiety attacks are all about. DBL
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