kaitracid2010 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 ok so i have another thread on here.... i have been with a woman who has been treating me quite bad, pushing me away, pulling me in. she ended it with me about 6 days ago, over an argument. i have now found out, that even when we was together, she had arranged a singles holiday with her friends. so she has been emailing me the last week or so, blaming me for everything, making false accusations. i have not replied to any of her email, and have even changed my mobile number, so she cannot contact me. she has been mis treating me for a while..... my question is, i have been no contact for one week now. should i break no contact, just to let her know, that i know about the seedy holiday she planned behind my back, even when we was together? she thinks she is whiter than white, and i am the bad guy also she believes i am back with my ex.... AND THIS IS NOT TRUE! so should i tell her, i am not back with my ex, and also tell her i know about her singles holiday, and that i am disgusted with her. then i deltete my email acoount, so she can never contact me again Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 You should just ignore her. You're better off without her. Do not give her the satisfaction of knowing that what shes doing is having an affect. You deserve better than that. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Probably telling her won't do any good. The mindset of people like that is very warped...no matter how wrong they know they are, the more noise they can kick up about how supposedly wrong the other side is, the more they hope to deflect from their own wrong-doing. People like that are emotionally messed up and no matter how hard you will try to show them you know they are wrong, the more of an act of self-righteousness they will put on to try to make it seem like you are the crazy one. Better not to deal with irrational people like that. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 No contact all the way. She doesn't need to know about your life. Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 Probably telling her won't do any good. The mindset of people like that is very warped...no matter how wrong they know they are, the more noise they can kick up about how supposedly wrong the other side is, the more they hope to deflect from their own wrong-doing. People like that are emotionally messed up and no matter how hard you will try to show them you know they are wrong, the more of an act of self-righteousness they will put on to try to make it seem like you are the crazy one. Better not to deal with irrational people like that. i,m hurting real bad right now. i have recieved 6 emails from her, accusing me for the break up, denying any responsibility, no admission of the way she has been treating me... no apology... acussing me of bieng back with my ex this is not true... she has arranged to go on a singles holiday, in order to meet other men, and she arranged this holiday while she was with me... in 2 weeks time, she could be sleeping with other men. i so want to email her, and tell her exactly what i think of her, and to put her straight.... but i am not sure if that is a wise thing to do it makes more sense for me to just disapear, and get over this, and never look back.... i,m not sure what to do Link to comment
Loveandlost Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 You are broken up. You owe her nothing, and she owes you nothing. She is in the anger phase of the breakup, she is blaming you, ranting at you, and making you out to be the one in the wrong. All of this is for her own ego. Dont feed into it. Its called a break up because something was broken. Spend this time focusing on you instead of focusing on your ex. Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 You are broken up. You owe her nothing, and she owes you nothing. She is in the anger phase of the breakup, she is blaming you, ranting at you, and making you out to be the one in the wrong. All of this is for her own ego. Dont feed into it. Its called a break up because something was broken. Spend this time focusing on you instead of focusing on your ex. this is how i see things.... she treats me like crap... when i put my foot down, and walk away from her abuse..... i then become the evil nasty villian, who has brok her heart. she believes i am now with my ex.... should i tell her, i am not? while she accuses me of bieng a evil basstard, she has gone and arranged a singles holiday... she will be meeting men over there, and maybe sleeping with them.....she arranged this, while we was together... i sooooo want to expose her lies!!!!!!! but if i mail her, she will only dent deny deny, and turn it into a slanging match. maybe just walking away is the best thing Link to comment
metrogirl Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 No, dont tell her you aren't with your ex.......No, don't tell her that you know about the singles holiday. What do you honestly think is going to happen if you tell her you aren't with your ex? Do you think she is magically going to not go on this holiday, fall into your arms and you two will ride off into the sunset? Come on guy! She's doesn't care about you or whether you are with your ex or not. She is merely trying to get a rise out of you and wants to know that you will still respond to whatever she sends you. So this is what you do, delete your email address so she can't mail you anymore. Link to comment
surfjon Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Shes the "one-up", you the desperate "one-down".... Pull yourself out of this emotionally and create distance....... I was in the same place you are over a month ago and I'm now amazed how much better I am after distancing and letting go, working on my head and my heart, getting back in fighting shape for the next lovely in my life!! Be positive and don't catastrophize!! you WILL love again!! She WAS NOT the only girl in the world for you!!this IS NOT the end of love! You will love again, and even better than this angry person you are done with!! Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 i feel like i am partly to blame for this, as i went to see my ex on new years eve.... i was emotional, feeling down, and low, because my girlfriend rejected me for a whole week, and didn't even spend new years eve with me! she made excuses not to see me on new years eve! i ended up at my exes house, we just talked, she gave me a hug, as i was crying.... there is nothing sexual between me, and my ex, as we are like friends. my girlfriend found out, a couple of months ago.... this is why she is assuming, i have got back with my ex girlfriend... because i am not replying back to her, after she dumped me. this is the 2nd time she has dumped me, in the space of 3 weeks!!!! Link to comment
confuseddotcom Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 Hi there, I just read your other thread about this girl. This girl, sorry woman (are you sure she's 45!?) is no good for you. You know this. Please take a step back from this. You really need to have no further contact with her. This is who she is. Like you, I can never get my head around why people treat other people like this. But you need to stop over-analysing it. It is what it is. So stop worrying about what you can't change and concentrate on whaty you can. If I may be as bold to make a suggestion - you really need to work on your boundaries. I've been where you are before and I know it's true - people treat you how you allow them to. As someone on one of your other threads stated - humans are boundary-pushers (apologies to the original poster for the paraphrasing!). If you meet someone like her in the future, you need to develop the tools to see it earlier and act quicker. It's something I'm working on too. Good luck mate. Stay strong and stay away from her! Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 thankyou for your advice.... to be fair, i am not a very soft person.... there was times, when she mis treated me, and i did put my foot down.... and i did clearly tell her, not to treat me in this way, or i will not tolerate it. but the problem is.... she would just call me bossy, or just fall out with me, and ignore me for a whole night. it seemed to me, if i did stand up for myself, then she would be quite willing to let the relationship go.... i should have dumped her the very first time, she started to mis treat me..... that would have either woke her up, and made her realise she can not get away with treating me like that..... or she would have just walked either way, i should have done this! so on this occasion, i did stand up for myself, and clearly told her, she cannot treat me with dis respect..... what did she do? she ended the relationship!!!! how could i even win... guess i was just scared of bieng dumped! either way, she has no power over me now..... and it is me, who is ignoring her, and i will continue to do so... and ignore for good. Link to comment
Kristenelaine Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 I'm sorry.... But you hve posted countless times about the same issue of her singles holiday and how she didn't spend time with your on New Years.... Has she cheated on you? Her behavior seems to point in that direction... Treating you bad, blaming you, booking a singles holiday while being in a relationship. Ignore her!!! Block her email address or change yours. Don't ask us what you should do by emailing her or not... We can't control your decisions. Link to comment
Mike80 Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 She sounds like a conniving piece of trash. Ive dealt with this species of cunning guilt-dodging women before. They are terrible people. Dont ever acknowledge her again. Ever. Link to comment
Kaytie Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 The same question in another thread. What you need to do is STOP. Stop thinking about getting in contact with her, stop thinking about what her motives are and stop reading her emails. In your other thread countless people told you to just block her email, delete her phone number, and move on. You don't have to prove to her that you know what she had planned. It is enough to know that you were right about her and that moving on is the best thing for you. You really need to work on your self-esteem and self-respect. People only treat you this way if you allow it - and you have, countless times. You've admitted you only felt loved 'some of the time' and that she isn't a match for you. Seriously, life is too short to waste time on a dead-end relationship and on a woman who is clearly abusive, immature, and manipulative. Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Share Posted February 26, 2013 i will totally ignore her... and i will never contact her, or let her contact me again... from this day, i look out for myself, and never allow anyone to treat me bad again. some day she may realise her loss..... Link to comment
Kaytie Posted February 26, 2013 Share Posted February 26, 2013 i will totally ignore her... and i will never contact her, or let her contact me again... from this day, i look out for myself, and never allow anyone to treat me bad again. some day she may realise her loss..... Good! Glad to hear it. Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 i know i need to keep away from this woman... and i intend to do that. what i cant get my head around is.... we broke up on thursday after a row, she ended it by text.... the very same day, a few hours later, she made a post on facebook... it read "CAN'T WAIT FOR OUR SINGLES HOLIDAY IN 2 WEEKS TIME" her best friend relied back to her post "IT'S IN 24 DAYS TIME, NOT IN 2 WEEKS" i do not use facebook, my friend went on and had a look for me..... so this holiday must have been arranged while we was together? i just don't understand, only 2 weeks ago she was tallking about us living together, and marriage.... then why this holiday? and how was she planning to go? was she planning to dump me again later, and then just go off to this singles holiday.... or could it have been a back up plan, if things don't work out between me and her in the next few weeks, then she could go odd with her friends, and meet or sleep with other men?? i just don't understand, how she was planning to pull this off? i am feeling so hurt, this is someone i loved very much, the thought of her with other men, is killing me... i,m hurting even if she does not go to this holiday, just the idea of her arranging this, is enough for me to feel total betrayel. i don't know how to handle this... i so want to tell her, how disgusted i am with her.... but i know i have to stay away. and remain no contact Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 any thoughts guys... i dont intend to get back with her.... just venting i guess... unanswered questions Link to comment
FrenchFries Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 She's just a horrible girlfriend plain and simple. People say things all the time. Some are sincere, others aren't. I don't know what her motives were. Only she can answer that, but she won't. Don't drive yourself insane over this woman. She's just not gf material. Sorry. Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 i just wanted some answers... just did not realise she was capable of something like this. singles holidays are usualy for meeting people, and alot of the time, for sleeping around too. it just does not makes sense... she was talking about wanting me to move in with her only 2 weeks ago, or getting a place together... she sounded oretty desperate for us to get a place together... so how did this holiday come about Link to comment
confuseddotcom Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 i just wanted some answers... just did not realise she was capable of something like this. singles holidays are usualy for meeting people, and alot of the time, for sleeping around too. it just does not makes sense... she was talking about wanting me to move in with her only 2 weeks ago, or getting a place together... she sounded oretty desperate for us to get a place together... so how did this holiday come about The only answer you need worry yousrself with now is that she's crazy in the coconut! Seriously, you will drive yourself round the bend trying to understand her. I bet even she doesn't understand herself! I know it's hard but try ro keep your mind active on other things, don't dwell on this - you will never figure it out. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Absolute best way to get back at her is to completely ignore her. Link to comment
kaitracid2010 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Share Posted February 27, 2013 Absolute best way to get back at her is to completely ignore her. just so torn... i so want to expose her, about her seedy holiday.... but i guess, total silence from me, is all she deserves now. still i hurt so much, when i think of her with another man Link to comment
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