Klokwurk Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 It was my girlfriend of 6 months talking to her friend over the phone about her (my gf's) ex-bf, "What?! He is dating HER?! A friend of mine! That is so rude not to tell me!" The friend was like, "Yea, his facebook says this, that, blah blah blah" And I could sense the emotion in my girlfriend's voice change to anger, and my admiration for her grow dimmer, and dimmer... and then blaaahh... She thought I was asleep, but now I'm like eeurrrrggghhh... I have this awful feeling in my stomach. They had a 2 year relationship, ended it 6 months before we met, 8 months before we started dating. My trouble is I am having difficulty shaking this gross feeling in my gut. I don't want to break up with her, of course, but I need to get over this... I talked to her briefly about it before I left in a rush, I just had to leave her place - I felt trapped, hurt, and confused. Please help me, my ena friends. Link to comment
ExcitedtoSleep Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Wow dude. Your post is barely coherent. I am extremely confused. The most I can tell is that you are angry. Can you explain exactly what you are upset about? We are here, but you must use words, because words are all that we have on this site. Link to comment
Klokwurk Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 OK. I overheard my girlfriend express anger and emotion when presented with the fact that her ex-boyfriend is seeing a friend of her (with whom she does not keep regular contact), and this upsets me because... I wish she was over that guy, and this leads me to believe that she is not really. Link to comment
Klokwurk Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 It makes me doubt her, her love for me, and all that nonsense. And I don't want drama, I don't want to say something stupid like, "You can't talk to him/know anything about him anymore! It's either him or me!" It's her life, but ehh... It feels sort of like emotional betrayal. It's not really. It is a small thing, right? Opinions? Link to comment
ExcitedtoSleep Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 It makes me doubt her, her love for me, and all that nonsense. And I don't want drama, I don't want to say something stupid like, "You can't talk to him/know anything about him anymore! It's either him or me!" It's her life, but ehh... It feels sort of like emotional betrayal. It's not really. It is a small thing, right? Opinions? The simple fact that you are on this site leads me to the conclusion that you are a thinker. Thinkers often over-think things. You have seen all of the posts on this site about people not being over their prior relationships. Right? Most of the posters truly want to get over the ones that they have left behind. In reality, your girlfriend is probably using her ex-boyfriend's new relationship as leverage in order to boost her own ego and make her feel better about herself now that she has found someone new. Question: Has your girlfriend ever made a big deal of her past relationship in front of you? Is she the type to complain about all of the things that he did when they were together? Link to comment
Lambert Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 IMO, I think you are over reacting. It can be a shock to hear your ex is dating someone you know.... But then once the initial "wow-her?!?!?" passes, she is probably not as concerned as you think. Give her a break... given a few minutes to think, she probably went on to think-- who cares... I love my man. Link to comment
DN Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I understood your first post well enough. What did she say when you spoke to her about it. Link to comment
Trinity11 Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 IMO, I think you are over reacting. It can be a shock to hear your ex is dating someone you know.... But then once the initial "wow-her?!?!?" passes, she is probably not as concerned as you think. Give her a break... given a few minutes to think, she probably went on to think-- who cares... I love my man. I think it is probably just this to be honest. From the lack of you around here I would say things were going pretty well no? Just because she is momentarily feeling betrayed by her friend, does not mean she feels any less for you. Link to comment
BritterSweet Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I don't think this means much, if anything, about her love for you. It's normal for an ex to see someone else. When that someone else is someone you know personally and were even friends with, that can be pretty surprising. From what was described here, she seems more upset because she felt she was kept in the dark about it. This doesn't necessarily mean she still wants him. That's the impression I get at this point. Link to comment
MasterPo Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I think you got hit by the green-eyed monster, normal reaction when it involves somebody you care about. Go for a walk, clear your head and perhaps listen to some chill tunes. "hey ma" might work. Talk to her if you can, don't know the extent of your relationship but it should include talking things out. You might end up feeling foolish but those things happen. Whatever you do, keep your calm and hear what she has to say. Meaning 'shut up' and listen. That's my take on what you wrote. It's all advice, helpful as possible and up to you to pick and choose. Good luck! Link to comment
chickydoodle Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Your GF is feeling betrayed by HER GF ( dating her ex ). She is bound to feel upset even tho logically she shouldnt cos she and him have split up. But you know even tho she may not want him she would not want her gf to have him. She is dealng with her own sense of betrayal. This GF may have been privvy to her badmouthing the ex and then she gets with him! But it doesnt mean your gf would ever want to be with the ex again over you. I think if you talk to her about how her ex being with her gf is making her feel ( play it cool and dont be emotional or jealous or she wont open up )......you will find out more about what your GF is really feeling and where you stand in the whole thing. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I think you should just talk to her about it, calmly, and see what is going on. You only overheard little bits of a convo and might be jumping the gun on what it means. Link to comment
EssexMan Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 I agree, there's no reason to believe she has any feelings for her ex. People can still have some interest in what an ex is doing (especially if, in this case, it involves another person they know) without having any desire to get back together. Link to comment
DN Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 If this is one occurrence there is probably not much to it - but it would still be worth finding out what her feellings are for her ex. And I would still like to know what she said when you spoke to her about it. Link to comment
Klokwurk Posted February 25, 2013 Author Share Posted February 25, 2013 Thanks guys. We spoke about it, and she was very understanding. Just a little moment of insecurity on my part, and of negligence on hers. Link to comment
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