So I am back to square one.

[Shadow415]

Broke-up about a year ago. About two mo. ago my ex calls me telling me she needed to talk. On this day she told me how great of a person I am and we laughed. Then weeks past and we decided to meet again. She wanted to play ping pong but then canceled at the last min. I called her that day and she asked questions about our relationship and if i ever think about us getting back together. I asked her if she was seeing someone she said yes. BUT we meet again for tea. She wanted to play a card game we played while together. and at the end when we said good by she kept kissing on the cheek. I felt like she wanted me to kiss her but I backed away. We started sending eachother emails all day for weeks. I felt like it was a sign of trying to get back together. After all the emails back and forth of music. I sent her an email that I could not speak with her anymore because it just hurts to much and it gives me false hope. She then replies that the letter was sad then replies again saying she doesnt want to say goodbye just yet. I respond basically dont be sad. She responds my adorable "my name here" and your letters make me so happy. That sunday she invites me to church with her family and I do. It went gr8. I asked her about the letter and she said she needed time to think b4 she could respond. Also she invites me to a NYE party but later tells me she changed plans and pulls the invite away. Weeks go by and we decided to meet on New years. A few days b4 we meet some1 shows me on her FB that she is in a relationship and that her aniver. and that date was when me and her were at the end of the relation. Needless to say i was upset. But i hold it back until i meet with her. So when I meet her I bring this up and tell her I think she is selfish person(not in anger though). I ask her to look me in the eyes and tell me if she cheated or was talking to the guy while we were togther. She does and then I drop the topic. When i said she was self-fish She gets upset but doesnt leave. I give her a small xmas gift (earings) and dozen roses, and tell her I want to try again. She says shes dating a new guy and can't, but to be patient. Her mom saved me some food from a holiday dinner so I went to go pick it up, after. That same night we speak on the phone and ask if she loves me and says "No I do not love you." I hang up.. crushed. write her an email and tell her I felt like she "used" me. but mostly that she crushed me again. I return the tupperware to her mom that same day with chcolate covrd strb. After that she text messages me and we get into a huge fight mostly her getting angry about me saying she used me for food and to get her a job and I respond by apologizing. She Also told me never call her again because we cant be friends and she was going to change her number. Here's the problem I don't want to talk w/ her but I see her at church and today she blocks me from FB and l saw her walk by my work I can't be certain but im almost sure.

 

Any advice? I wont contact her but i want to get better soon and stop this crumy feeling that nothing in life matters. Should I stop going to church because she is there with her family?

 

thanks,

[shessofly]

maybe for awhile, until you feel better, you could worship elsewhere? are you in high school?

[Shadow415]

No I am 32

[offplanet]

It'd be better to go to a different church rather than be faced with seeing her each week. Has that been happening for the last year? She's messed you around by rekindling hopes in you then backing off. That's really not good for you. Don't be 'friends' with her again if she ever tries to start that again. Hopefully you could meet someone new at a different church. She's taken up too much of you emotional energy already.