Dinocaz Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Hey up. I know they are many here today and the past 24 hours who have been feeling like they are the only person on the planet. Christmas can be a very isolating and mind numbing experience for those who are going through the throws of a break or struggling to come to terms with what it is they felt they lost. I had my own pity party last night, the heavy feeling in my gut getting progressively worse as day turned to night. Not because of the ex but because of my children. I woke up early this morning grey skies outside and flicked onto FB it was empty , and I sat staring at the screen drinking my coffee and switching between FB , the BBC news site and some other drivel I follow now and then. Slowly images and messages started coming up on my time line. People sending virtual Christmas wishes, photos of children excited at the presents Father Christmas delivered and so on. I sat in silence watching this unfold - feeling very much like I was staring through a glass window into another world. I was not desperate , not overwhelmed with sadness it was just my children and it hurt somewhat. Then my mobile bursts into life and I read the message: "Happy Christmas Daddy! Missing you and Simon loads today have a lovely day. Love you loads! Mollie Xxxxxx" It was from my daughter, and Simon is her half brother who lives abroad and in that moment I understood she too has had to face her own loss as has my son that they too are this year coming to terms with the facts that this is the first Christmas without each other. Strength returned to my body and mind. I replied to Mollie told her "I love you very very much Mollie and miss you but hey ho tomorrow we will meet then you can bleed dad dry for every penny he has got xxx have a super day Big hugs daddy" She could not cope and should not have to cope with any thoughts about me being sad or being alone in my own thoughts this Christmas. I stood up emotionally and made sure she knew I was totally fine - and freed her really to enjoy this time of year. Sometimes we get so lost in our own thoughts and feelings we can forget about the bigger picture. Sure have your down time, pace the walls, scream, sulk and then remember to pick yourself back up and be thankful you have taken another step forward and that today passes and another arrives and somehow things get better. I'm good again now, touched base with my children - Im ready to get back into the ring and keep pushing forward. You really are NOT ALONE no matter where you are!! Link to comment
Lambert Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Good post! You are so right. I feel there is a lot of pressure to have the "best" holiday ever! And really, I feel as humans, we all have those moments of loneliness. Some it may be more than for others. And that's why it's really important to try to pick someone else up. Christmas is about making it about someone else-- not what I do or do not have. Like so many times in life, I think the best way to feel better, is to take "me" out of it and make it about helping someone else. I hope you have a really fun time tomorrow with your daughter. just get through today the best you can because tomorrow will be your Christmas. Link to comment
SoLost12 Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 I stood up emotionally and made sure she knew I was totally fine - and freed her really to enjoy this time of year. Sometimes we get so lost in our own thoughts and feelings we can forget about the bigger picture. Sure have your down time, pace the walls, scream, sulk and then remember to pick yourself back up and be thankful you have taken another step forward and that today passes and another arrives and somehow things get better. I'm good again now, touched base with my children - Im ready to get back into the ring and keep pushing forward. You really are NOT ALONE no matter where you are!! Merry Christmas Dinocaz! I just wanted to say that I love how responsible and aware you are of your own thoughts... it's so rare and commendable. I know that it takes quite a journey to get there..( and QUITE the journey, having read yours..) but it is so fulfilling and empowering to be able to grab a hold of your own feelings, add a jolt of sense to them ... and move on! So thank you for another inspirational post. You have a great attitude & many of your words have been considered a great gift to me, and as I've seen many others! (On ANY day of the year, bold above is so true! Should not be forgotten- it's just Another Day) Also you sound like a Great Dad! Have a Beautiful reunion with your Children It'll be different this year, but different can definetly be better - new & FUN.. starting your own traditions with them... Make it Your Own & Enjoy! Link to comment
Limiya Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 What a lovely post. MErry Christmas Dinocaz. My day has been lovely. I wasn't sure if i would hear from my ex or not. So far i have not. And i doubt i will. But i'm not sure if i'm glad or disappointed. I still wanted to know i meant something, but at the same time, it would have only caused me turmoil if he did. I'm being as thankful as possible. And i can't wait for 2013 for a new year. Much love to your and your kids this Xmas. Limiya Link to comment
One day Posted December 25, 2012 Share Posted December 25, 2012 Merry Christmas Dino, What a fantastic text to receive, little simple things like that are priceless, I bet those words from your daughter made your heart burst with love and pride. I hope the rest of the day went well for you. Link to comment
Dinocaz Posted December 26, 2012 Author Share Posted December 26, 2012 Thanks for the replies - met my daughter today in Town. Gave her Xmas money she said she felt "minted" ha ha as I shuddered at the state of my bank account. But she was well buzzed up with some of her friends. Took her away for a frappaciNo from her mates for a while for dad / daughter time. Made light of Christmas and it felt good. I also finally bought some new clothes and am starting to feel like a man again. She was raring to go waste her Xmas money on god knows what junk so I hugged her good bye and told her we will meet in the new year. Tomorrow morning I out to Man Airport early to get my flight to Scandinavia to be with my Son. Happy days. Onwards and towards much better things I hope for every last dammn one you!!!! Link to comment
Dinocaz Posted December 26, 2012 Author Share Posted December 26, 2012 What a lovely post. MErry Christmas Dinocaz. My day has been lovely. I wasn't sure if i would hear from my ex or not. So far i have not. And i doubt i will. But i'm not sure if i'm glad or disappointed. I still wanted to know i meant something, but at the same time, it would have only caused me turmoil if he did. I'm being as thankful as possible. And i can't wait for 2013 for a new year. Much love to your and your kids this Xmas. Limiya I LOVE reading that you can not wait for 2013. WTG! You deserve it! Link to comment
Dinocaz Posted December 26, 2012 Author Share Posted December 26, 2012 Merry Christmas Dino, What a fantastic text to receive, little simple things like that are priceless, I bet those words from your daughter made your heart burst with love and pride. I hope the rest of the day went well for you. And the same to you my friend here is to 2013 and beyond! Link to comment
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