Bf not responding to my texts even tho he promised he would keep me company

[Lostndazed]

Im on the verge of breakung up with him. Been crying and been unable to control myself.... Today i had oral surgery done and yes it was hurting and still does. Since he lives two towns away he said that he would keep me company by texting me. At 6 oclock was the last time i hurd from him. Ive called him three times bc i was worried but mostly upset.... He has been acting weird and i feel that its because a part of me thinks he is playing games on me. I dont know this for sure but we did break up for a month last october to think things thru and also during the break (b4 the breakup) i went out on a date. When he took me back i told him that i would work on myself n not be jumpy or insecure and i just think he has been testing me. If not, maybe taking me for granted. Im crying myself to sleep knowing he doesnt care and love me like i do for him. Ive done so much and i feel pathwtic crying uncontollably with gauze n my mouth. Should i just move on and not text him or call him again??? Im really hurt that he has been so inconsistent with me and deep down, im afraid he met someone but i dunno for sure. Should i call again? Its 921pm now- still nothing.

[rask]

Stop calling him, seriously. That's basically just telling him that you're still insecure and jumpy about it. I would be kind of ticked if my boyfriend called me 4 times in 3 hours. Just because he isn't texting doesn't mean he's playing games with you. He might just be busy, might of had to do something and left his phone, who knows. But blowing up his phone won't solve anything.

 

He'll text you when he can, or wants to, but I wouldn't get all upset over no contact in just 3 hours. It's really not as long as it seems like it is.

[Lostndazed]

He just shut his phone off. If he is ticked fine. But y say u will keep me company and bail out?

[El0t]

He probably can't handle all of the emotions. Not to place blame on you or anything, but it can be very overwhelming to deal with someone who is very emotionally expressive and insecure... I speak from experience, as my boyfriend had to put up with me through a period where I was the same way. Try to give him space. Be honest with him and have a conversation with him about it when you're more level headed. Try to spend more time being on your own and finding things that you enjoy for yourself. Spend more time with your friends. I'm sure he will appreciate the space.

Also realize he is in a hard place... he told you he would be there for you because... what else would he say? If he says he'll be there for you, it's hard for him to deal with your emotions. If he says he won't be there, you'll be hurt. Either way it's not a positive outcome for him.

[rask]

He just shut his phone off. If he is ticked fine. But y say u will keep me company and bail out?

 

Do you know for sure he shut it off, and it didn't just die?

 

If he did shut it off, that right there should tell you he needs some space.

 

He said he would keep you company, but he might of not seen that as texting you every single second through out the day.

[abitbroken]

Isn't your boyfriend a firefighter and doesn't he work shifts that are 12 to 24 hours long? Didn't he recently have issues with his phone but called you as soon as they were resolved? I mean, you were flipping out because he didn't call you while he was at work when he might have been out there saving a life?? Focus on getting better. He probably does love you a lot, but he doesn't need to show his love by being constantly on your arm or on the phone with you. You are not working on yourself or anything - you have got to get a handle on yourself! Spend time with friends, read a book, go to work or class.

 

You say he is playing games - he is probably just busy with stuff. You are the one playing games about talking about breaking up and throwing in the towel because he is not constantly texting you. He DID text you. Why not make plans to go out for smoothies when you are feeling up to it? And then just look forward to seeing him instead of crying about every waking moment he is not texting or calling.

[Lostndazed]

I just broke up with him via text. He shut his phone off. I know this man for 9 months now and im pretty sure someone is n the picture...

[Lostndazed]

I cant get 'smoothies' bc i got an oral surgery today. 2nd he is not working today. When u kno someone for so long u kno their routine- one of his is checkin his phone constantly. I have not been super emotional with him today btw. I know when sumthin isnt wat it is.

[buddha55]

well, regardless, it would be a deal breaker for me if you can't say 'hey, i need space" and have to shut off phone or whatever.

[Lostndazed]

Besides maybe this is wat he wants.... He has been giving me mixed signals. Showing me that he loves me and turns around and pushes me to do things i dont wanna do n exclaiming that i dont like him enough. I posted on here about he said he wanted a dirty picture of me and when i said no he got upset and say i dont miss him enough. 2nd he also asked i drive to his work one time and i said i wasnt up for the long drive. He then tells me over the phone 3 days later with his brother n the car that i just dont like him enough to drive bc he has dated other girls and they would drive to c him... I talked to him the day after bc i didnt wanna ruin his nite with hus brother. He apologized but said he meant no harm. Im crying rite now while i type this out bc maybe these were always his excuses to make me look bad n give him enough excuses or reasons to get rid of me... Also he is financially strapped and has been struggling.... Said that he would like to still see me but didnt think it was good for him to date.

[El0t]

Sounds like both of you have some personal things you need to figure out... It's probably better that you are separated to focus on yourselves.

[Lostndazed]

well, regardless, it would be a deal breaker for me if you can't say 'hey, i need space" and have to shut off phone or whatever.

 

Thats my point too. & if u say u will b there, why not text back? Even to say 'hey im busy'? Unless u got sumthin to hide or u just want to get a rouse out of a capable emotional gf?

[DN]

OK, well, it's over now since you broke up with him so it's time to move and see if you can find someone who can give you what you want.

[buddha55]

yes, definitely just move on.

[Lostndazed]

Just txted me said he will call me tomorrow. His godmother in the ICU. I didnt text back. A selfish side just wants to be upset because he just couldnt pick up the phone and tell me.

[rask]

Just txted me said he will call me tomorrow. His godmother in the ICU. I didnt text back. A selfish side just wants to be upset because he just couldnt pick up the phone and tell me.

 

 

OMG. Seriously?

 

If she's in ICU, and he was visiting, he had to turn his phone off.

 

I can't believe you're mad at him because he didn't text you over something like this... yeah, you definitely don't need to be in a relationship if you're going to be selfish over that.

[ButterflyWrists]

Tbh I'm on your side OP it doesn't take a second to send a quick text saying 'sorry grandmas in ICU I'll call when I can'.. He has been being selfish, addmitedly you could have reacted better, however the way he's been treating you recently it is completely understandable you feel this way. I would leave him, even though he has a good reason to not have kept in touch, because of how he has been acting towards you recently. You also need to figure yourself out, as it does seem like you are very insecure, and that doesn't bode well for relationships. I wish you the best butters

[DN]

I think when a parent (or close parent) is in ICU and maybe dying, texting is probably the last thing on someone's mind. Being there for her and possibly his father, step-siblings might take priority.

 

A phone should not be thought of as a leash and the person on the other end has to respond to every tug and twitch you give it.

[bulletproof]

I think you are way too reliant on texts. You expect him to text you all night because you're not well, then you break up with him via text? I think maybe you need to give it a rest.

[sara-pezzini]

i just read your other threads, he broke up with you in October, came back after you begged and broke up with you again on November 20th but i don't read that you got back together again, so is he even your BF at this point? and the constant texting and getting upset or worried if he doesn't respond is really damaging yourself and your relationship as well, no man could put up with that, and now get angry when he is in ICU with his god mother and then break up with him through text because he was unable to keep his promise due to an emergency, (people really do not have texting someone on their mind when they are in ICU and scared!) is really immature and spiteful.....and the other threads i read also sound clingy, needy and that is not helpful, you need to work on yourself first......

[metrogirl]

Yeah, I'm sorry but you do come off as super clingy and needy.

 

I think you two need to stop with the back and forth breakups, just breakup for good and work on yourself a bit so you can be better for your next relationship.

[Lostndazed]

I know i came off as needy but really, i only turn like this when he all of a sudden stops responding to my text or calls. i dont text or calll frequently too- and thats what it seems like bc of the 9 months we were together- i would only talkbout the bad like last nite. im sorry if u guys get the impression that this is all i am- not that case at all. We r a long distance relationship and texting and calling is really our way of communication and closeness.

And yes we did get back together with him contacting me even tho ihe told me i was too insecure but i also told him that only when he doesnt seem as interested any more and i start seeing a pattern. he of course said thats not true and he maybe tellin the truth, but y do u stop responding with affection when im that way with u? So he said he didnt kno it bothered me but will work on it but i need to chill out if he doesnt do sumthin or act a certain way.... so yea the breakup i think it was a culmination of insecurities on both our parts. We have had lots of good times esp when we r physically together but i think maybe bc we both r not n the same town- it adds doubts...

He text me this morning saying he has been unable to sleep and will calll me later. Said he is sorry that all this happened. I just texted him back that im sorry bout his grandma and just keep me in the loop. Isnt that what bf-gf do? I threw in the towel but i think he understands my frustrations and if he

Decides that im too much i would understand too...

[MsHJones]

OMG. Seriously?

 

If she's in ICU, and he was visiting, he had to turn his phone off.

 

I can't believe you're mad at him because he didn't text you over something like this... yeah, you definitely don't need to be in a relationship if you're going to be selfish over that.

 

 

Totally agree with this. Emergencies happen and unfortunately not everyone can have their phone on them 24/7, even if they typically are overly attached to their phones. If someone was upset with me because I hadnt answered while in the hospital with an emergency, I would break up with them. You need to be more understanding and not jump to conclusions, especially the most negative conclusion possible.

[MsHJones]

And now that Ive gotten to the end of this thread, what do you mean by "isnt that what bf/gf do?" If you mean be there for each other in a time of need such as his emergency, absolutely. However you did exactly the opposite by jumping to wrong conclusions and breaking up with him right off the bat without a chance for explanation, and I can imagine that was alot of drama and stress that he didnt need added to his list of stressors that evening. Just sayin.

[RachaelRosen]

Tbh I'm on your side OP it doesn't take a second to send a quick text saying 'sorry grandmas in ICU I'll call when I can'.. He has been being selfish, addmitedly you could have reacted better, however the way he's been treating you recently it is completely understandable you feel this way. I would leave him, even though he has a good reason to not have kept in touch, because of how he has been acting towards you recently. You also need to figure yourself out, as it does seem like you are very insecure, and that doesn't bode well for relationships. I wish you the best butters

 

This. ^^^ I'm on your side too, OP. I went to the ICU a couple months ago to visit my grandma after she had a heart attack and I took 2 seconds to text a guy, that was not my boyfriend, I was meeting up with to tell him I wouldn't be able to meet him. And ICU is not the ER, even though it's scary and serious...not sure if most posters in this thread realize that. Anyway, I think you did the right thing.