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First date. I started panicking and ran away. Should I apologize him?

PrettyGood

By PrettyGood
in Dating Advice

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PrettyGood Rising Star

PrettyGood

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My ex broke up with me 2,5 weeks ago. I didn't want to weep so I started corresponding with people right away on the dating site. There I met quite interesting person who is a business man, traveling all over the world, he was rich and independent and he liked to brag about it. I liked his sense of humor but I didn't like bragging because I wasn't that rich myself. So he asked me out for a cup of coffee yesterday and I rejected because I was lazy. However, this evening (at 9 pm) I contacted him myself and asked him out myself because I was in a mood. He was tired because he just finished his business and wasn't ready to meet for a cup of coffee. However, he promised to stop by in the city center where I was with my female friend and to talk.

 

He came by his car, which was very nice and expensive. He stopped in the corner of the street, said hello to me and my friend. We were standing in the corner of the street next to his precious car and talking about something irrelevant. We talked for about 20 minutes but I felt so uncomfortable (I wanted to go, sit somewhere and then talk). He looked very nice and confident, however, my legs were shivering, my body was so intense and my sight were running around every single item around us except I didn't look to his eyes. He mentioned my name, trying to get my attention, but I was silly laughing and talking some nonsense. It wasn't me because I couldn't relax. He asked if we would like to be driven home or to the bus stop but I rejected. Then he started telling about his next week plans and suddenly I said "Ok, so, I think it's time for us to go now. It was nice to meet you." He was kind of shocked and my friend also couldn't understand why I was so in a hurry to run away. He was cute and interesting but I couldn't relax, I couldn't feel myself standing in the corner of the street instead of going for a cup of coffee. So he said "Ok..." and then I said "Ok, then, bye" (no shaking hand like in the beginning, nothing), I just started going away so fast and he got into his car and drove away.

 

Then my friend asked me "What happened here? You just ran away from him!" I knew it, but my question is - should I write him something now after all that I didn't feel comfortable somehow and the reason why or not? I feel so stupid running scared even if he didn't say or do anything bad for us. I just panicked

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lavenderdove Enthusiast

lavenderdove

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You don't need to apologize for anything. He kept you standing outside in the cold for 20 minutes. I wouldn't have stood there for more than 5!

 

And DON'T get into the car of a man you don't know or haven't really checked out first to be sure he is safe and who he says it is. he could have a nice car because he's a drug dealer or some kind of criminal. Money doesn't in itself guarantee he is a good guy or who he says he is.

 

Honey, i think you REALLY need to take a break between bouncing between these men. You need to give yourself time to mourn the loss of your last relationship, and start dating to find the RIGHT man not just the NEXT man. 2.5 weeks after a breakup is way too soon to be dating... it is bound to upset and depress you at that point.

 

you should feel fine on your own for a while and not need a man to fill your empty spaces in your soul, and if you do, then i'd consider some therapy rather than bouncing from man to man frantically and desperately and in fear/panic etc. that will lead you to some really wrong choices because you are terrified of being alone.

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nutbrownhare Veteran

nutbrownhare

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Then my friend asked me "What happened here? You just ran away from him!" I knew it, but my question is - should I write him something now after all that I didn't feel comfortable somehow and the reason why or not? I feel so stupid running scared even if he didn't say or do anything bad for us. I just panicked

Not only should you not write to him - just leave that one right there! - but you should take a break before contacting anyone else.

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Joleen Newbie

Joleen

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I think your instincts may have been warning you that something was really off about this guy. And something definitely WAS really off about this guy so don't second guess and apologize.

 

First off, this guy is rich and independent and bragging about it on a dating site? Either he's lying or he's a tool. Gentlemen don't brag about those things. Second, he didn't plan a proper date but let you stand around for 20 minutes without making a plan, then tried to get you in his car? A gentleman doesn't treat a woman like that, period. He should have had enough respect for you to plan a proper date and not try to get you in his car.

 

He's a creep. Move on. And be glad that your instincts made you bolt.

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