Open Car Door for her?

[Fudgie]

Or if she is, just call the whole thing off!

 

Lol, true dat. I met some of those feminists at college. I think it would be really hard to be in a heterosexual relationship if you were one of them. Don't they believe that men are really all just wannabe rapists? Pass it up.

 

No but really... There are many things intended to compliment, not insult. There are boundaries to be observed (for example, I get uneasy if a man who is not my boyfriend calls me a pet name or tells me I'm gorgeous) but if a woman considers basic manners on the part of the man to be offensive or insulting, then that's kind of messed up.

[Fantanos]

I don't care if its a first date, 2nd date, 10th date or 50 year marriage you should always be opening doors for a girl. Its polite and shows you have manners. Its not old fashion, whats old fashion about it is all these guys think they are too "tough" to do it anymore and think they might mess up the "game" if they do. In my years of dating I have gotten tons of comments on the fact that I opened doors for girls.

 

On a first date you want to impress the girl and separate yourself from all the others, opening doors for her and showing you have manners might be the best way to do it. You know why? Because no one does it anymore....

[Coily]

Yes open the door, be a gentleman when you can (not a doormat), but only if that is how you typically act. Nothing is worse than going through the motions for the opening salvo and then cracking the image she has of you. Better to be yourself than a figurine.

 

Also if she IS a raging feminist (Some call them femanazis) then go overboard and annoy the crap out of here since you are doubtlessly sunk from the get go.

[GirlontheLam]

I love it! (I am 34)

[Klokwurk]

I do it because it makes me and her feel classy, old school, and gangsta.

 

Note: feminists don't hate men, and it sounds ridiculous to make such a generalization. I am a man, and I am a feminist.

[CeeLambrini]

I do it because it makes me and her feel classy, old school, and gangsta.

 

Note: feminists don't hate men, and it sounds ridiculous to make such a generalization. I am a man, and I am a feminist.

 

I love it when men are proud feminists, go you! I don't like how people use the word as though it is a bad thing on here sometimes. Feminism is no longer "man hating" or "we must stop our oppressors!" because we are no longer oppressed. Since the 90's it is more about taking value in femininity and recognising than men aren't better than women, women aren't better than men - both genders are just too different to make that kind of comparison. Each gender brings their "specialties" to the table and neither should be looked down on for that. I think it's a damn shame that there are women out there who are still saying "women should be this, and women should do that so men like them, or otherwise men will get bored of them".

[pinkelephant]

i love it. wish my bf did this lol

[MLuna]

You should and you definitely have to continue once you start it. Otherwise she will interpret it as you getting lazy and not caring anymore to impress her. If you're afraid of offending her by doing it just make a light joke while you do it such as "Let me get that for you" and smile so she knows you realize it's kind of cheesy.

[pl3asehelp]

I wouldn't. Nobody did this in the large city I grew up in and I don't see any reason for it, nor have I seen it ever done other than by peeps from old school rural places like Missouri. I mean, being real about it, what is it saying? Obviously women are able to operate car doors on their own without any problem, so it's not like it's in any way helpful. I think you're saying you just like to do random unnecessary things and would have no idea where you'd draw the line.

[Fantanos]

I wouldn't. Nobody did this in the large city I grew up in and I don't see any reason for it, nor have I seen it ever done other than by peeps from old school rural places like Missouri. I mean, being real about it, what is it saying? Obviously women are able to operate car doors on their own without any problem, so it's not like it's in any way helpful. I think you're saying you just like to do random unnecessary things and would have no idea where you'd draw the line.

 

It's called being a gentlemen. As you can see from this thread a lot of girls appreciate gentlemen. I suggest men do this to maintain a long healthy romantic relationship.

[camus154]

It's called being a gentlemen. As you can see from this thread a lot of girls appreciate gentlemen. I suggest men do this to maintain a long healthy romantic relationship.

 

Exactly. Still do it to this day with my girlfriend.

 

Do it BECAUSE it's old-fashioned, traditional, and serves no purpose. The new age of men will sit there with smoke coming out of their ears, so vexed are they by their inability to rationalize why this still happens

[Trinity11]

It is old fashioned and girls love it.

Its nice when ANYONE holds the door open for you, the last person who walked through it going in either direction, the bellman, the person who lets a few people go in front of them.

Its a tiny thing that makes the person you do it for feel special.

 

Pl3asehelp, if no one did it in your city...all the more reason to start. You will make a huge impression and stand out from the crowd in your personal and business life.

[Dusk1983]

Exactly. Still do it to this day with my girlfriend.

 

Do it BECAUSE it's old-fashioned, traditional, and serves no purpose.

 

Are we to take it she always cooks, cleans and leaves the home only when you give permission? Because that's where these traditions come from - the patriarchal past.

 

FWIW, my girlfriend LOVES to open her own doors. She's always opening doors, even when I haven't given her my express authorisation to do so.

[camus154]

Are we to take it she always cooks, cleans and leaves the home only when you give permission? Because that's where these traditions come from - the patriarchal past.

 

Yes!! Because you cannot, as a rational person with an untold wealth of critical thinking skills, accept one positive thing from tradition without necessarily accepting everything else that's traditional

[pl3asehelp]

It's called being a gentlemen. As you can see from this thread a lot of girls appreciate gentlemen. I suggest men do this to maintain a long healthy romantic relationship.

 

Or not if you already have a long healthy romantic relationship with someone who doesn't care about such trivial matters.

 

A lot of girls want to stay home while you earn all the money and that doesn't make it right. A lot of men appreciate a wife who stays home cooking and cleaning and that doesn't make it right either.

 

Bottom line, if this is something you want to do, go for it, but if you have some critical thinking skills and can see that it's a silly thing from the past, then let it go the way of chaperoned dates and hoop dresses.

 

Do you wear a top hat and a monocle? Frock coat perhaps?

[Dusk1983]

Yes!! Because you cannot, as a rational person with an untold wealth of critical thinking skills, accept one positive thing from tradition without necessarily accepting everything else

 

But in my experience - having dated over 50% of the entire female population on the planet - that's exactly what the modern woman tries to do.

[CeeLambrini]

Haha - where did it go from opening doors as a common courtesy to an issue of feminism? If a wife enjoys staying home and doing housework, and the husband enjoys going to work all day - why is this bad? It only becomes bad when one of them doesn't actually enjoy this role and feels forced.

 

MAJORLY escalated debate right there, the majority of women who have replied feel that it is a positive thing. And I doubt the women on here who prefer to open their own car door wouldn't exactly be like "HOW DARE YOU!!" and run away feeling like they had a close call with a chauvinistic douchebag.

[pl3asehelp]

Haha - where did it go from opening doors as a common courtesy to an issue of feminism? If a wife enjoys staying home and doing housework, and the husband enjoys going to work all day - why is this bad? It only becomes bad when one of them doesn't actually enjoy this role and feels forced.

 

MAJORLY escalated debate right there, the majority of women who have replied feel that it is a positive thing. And I doubt the women on here who prefer to open their own car door wouldn't exactly be like "HOW DARE YOU!!" and run away feeling like they had a close call with a chauvinistic douchebag.

 

It's not common courtesy - a man never opens the car door for another man. It's a gender issue.

 

I didn't say it was bad - I just said that just because a lot of people like it doesn't make it right, as another poster suggested was the case. I think it's fine, though I realize many don't. I don't enjoy opening car doors for perfectly capable people because of some old tradition regardless of whether it will be appreciated or not, precisely because it would feel forced. It's subjective - there's no right answer. However, it certainly doesn't hurt for a person to think about why they do or do not do the things they do.

[Ms Darcy]

I do it because it makes me and her feel classy, old school, and gangsta.

 

Note: feminists don't hate men, and it sounds ridiculous to make such a generalization. I am a man, and I am a feminist.

 

Completely agree. I am a woman, a feminist, and appreciate it when people hold doors open for me. I also like to hold doors open for the elderly out of respect.

[HeatherB]

... I just said that just because a lot of people like it doesn't make it right, as another poster suggested was the case....

 

Just because a lot of people like it is an excellent reason to do it.

[pl3asehelp]

Just because a lot of people like it is an excellent reason to do it.

 

Lots of people like McDonald's and eat there - does that mean it's an excellent place to eat? No. Gotta think for yourself.

[HeatherB]

If I were a guy and my date wanted some mass produced french fries, I wouldn't deny her. I'd put her happiness first and get her as many as she wanted and I'd ask for extras of the high fructose corn syrup-laden Mc Nugget bbq sauce for her, and extra ketchup packets. Which is why I'd get lucky fairly often. By doing silly things that make no sense except to put a smile on someone's face.

[pl3asehelp]

If I were a guy and my date wanted some mass produced french fries, I wouldn't deny her. I'd put her happiness first and get her as many as she wanted and I'd ask for extras of the high fructose corn syrup-laden Mc Nugget bbq sauce for her, and extra ketchup packets. Which is why I'd get lucky fairly often. By doing silly things that make no sense except to put a smile on someone's face.

 

You said 'because a lot of people like something is an excellent reason to do it'. If you like the taste of the food at McDonald's, that's a perfectly valid reason to eat there, but if the only reason you eat there is because a lot of other people do it to, you're not thinking for yourself, and that's not an excellent reason to do anything.

 

Your analogy here addresses something totally different - putting others happiness above your own. Are these issues related to you? Something being a good idea because lots of people do it and putting others happiness above yours?

[HeatherB]

I don't mean to argue, so I won't keep going back and forth about it. But what I meant was, if you know that a lot of people like having a particular thing done for them, and it doesn't really hurt anybody, that's an excellent reason to do it for them.

[Trinity11]

I wouldn't. Nobody did this in the large city I grew up in and I don't see any reason for it, nor have I seen it ever done other than by peeps from old school rural places like Missouri.

 

Lots of people like McDonald's and eat there - does that mean it's an excellent place to eat? No. Gotta think for yourself.

 

You just contradicted yourself.

In any case, it is a nice thing to do for the person you are interested in and trying to win their affections.