Nick7lno Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I've got a mate who's 17 and he's dating a friend of his who is 13 (mind you I think she turns 14 soon). Do you think it’s wrong? He asked me and a couple of friends today and it was a bit of a mixed verdict from us, and I was just wondering what others might think. They're both really good kids, both have got their heads screwed on tight and they both care about a lot about each other. Thoughts? Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 yes my emily is 13 ,...if she walked in with a 17 yr old his nuts would be round his neck Link to comment
Berry99 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 It does seem odd, but if she's mature & he is also perhaps its fine. I think its okay if they both have good intentions. Legally their will be a problem when he turns 18 here in the u.s. Link to comment
Avila Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Yes. Where I live, this is a no no. She may be a mature 13 year old but 13 is 13. Ditto for 14. She's still a little girl no matter what she looks like or how she acts (take it from someone who studies these kinds of things.) and he could get into a lot of trouble. If you're a good friend I would tell him this and completely discourage him from seeing this girl. I think her parents would be very upset if they knew. If they weren't than they would not be doing their job properly. Link to comment
Nick7lno Posted September 15, 2012 Author Share Posted September 15, 2012 @Avila: Completely discourage him? Even though whenever he see's her, his face just brighten ups? Even when they care for each other and are both sweet together? Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 @Avila: Completely discourage him? Even though whenever he see's her, his face just brighten ups? Even when they care for each other and are both sweet together? she is a little girl Link to comment
Nick7lno Posted September 15, 2012 Author Share Posted September 15, 2012 she is a little girl Maybe but those two have a connection, a stong one believe it or not. His friends and I wouldn't be supporting this if there wasn't something deeper here. Its a bit odd, I'll agree with Berry99 here, maybe its because you, yourself have a daughter of the same age and that you haven't seen them together. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Yup yer darn tootin it is wrong. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I find this thread very disturbing. This should be reported, imo. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 It is also how young girls end up getting pregnant because they are pressured into sex by older boys. Link to comment
Moontiger Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Maybe but those two have a connection, a stong one believe it or not. His friends and I wouldn't be supporting this if there wasn't something deeper here. Its a bit odd, I'll agree with Berry99 here, maybe its because you, yourself have a daughter of the same age and that you haven't seen them together. You are not going to like my answer, this "connection" they have is probably (99%) just intense puppy love. The mental, emotional, physical gap between 13 and 17 us HUGE. Scientifically speaking her brain is not fully developed (not a insult but a fact) while his is much more developed, heck he will be allowed to vote soon and she isn't even trusted with a car. I think it would be a good idea for your friend to tell this girl, "Look, I care about you a lot. I care about you enough to know that right now we can't date. It breaks my heart but its right thing at this moment in time. In another year or two we can try again." If he loves her today he will love her in a year or two AND he will do that right thing for her, not what makes him feel good. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Maybe but those two have a connection, a stong one believe it or not. His friends and I wouldn't be supporting this if there wasn't something deeper here. Its a bit odd, I'll agree with Berry99 here, maybe its because you, yourself have a daughter of the same age and that you haven't seen them together. It does not matter what kind of bond they have. It is an unequal relationship and should not be happening. If it was my daughter I would be contacting his parents and if it did not end there the cops would be the point of contact. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Absolutely not. In most places, this particular 4 year gap would be illegal (where most laws allow only a 2 year gap at these ages). At 13, she's still dreaming of hearts and flowers and unicorns and does not have the emotional skills to handle a real romance with someone older. The world is absolutely full of people to date, so choose someone your own age and maturity level and don't mess with girls who are barely done playing with their dolls. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I agree, your friend could be placing himself in jeopardy of being on sexual predator list if he is not careful. Link to comment
Avila Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Sorry to break it to you love but I'm in agreement with the other posters here who are much older and wiser. I don't say this to put you down or be patronizing but as all of us have been her and your age, been through situations similar to this and so on... this is wrong and i don't know where you are but it is most likely against the law. And for good reason. At 13 she is a little girl with barely any life experience who could be quite easily taken advantage of, regardless of how mature she acts. If i were her mother and i knew, i would hit the roof because it is a very unequal relationship going on here. It doesn't matter if they appear to care for one another. It has to stop. The fact that you've posted about this just shows that you have your reservations and you would be doing your friend a disservice if you did not warn him of the dangers he is facing if he continues to see her. I remember being barely 13 years old when i started high school and a senior boy who would have been around 17- 18 was interested in me. I was wise enough at that age to know it was silly because there is something not quite right about an older boy being interested in a very young girl. young girls are easy to control and manipulate. its a very unequal relationship. It is also needs to be said that this relationship is far more dangerous for this 13 year old child than your friend. I would be concerned about unprotected sex and pregnancy for starters. if your friend cares for her, he will desist for her sake. There is no doubt or blurry line about this issue. It is wrong. Likely illegal. It's not in her best interests. It needs to stop, now. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Maybe but those two have a connection, a stong one believe it or not. His friends and I wouldn't be supporting this if there wasn't something deeper here. Its a bit odd, I'll agree with Berry99 here, maybe its because you, yourself have a daughter of the same age and that you haven't seen them together. it is not because I have a daughter so please dont try and convince yourself of this , it is because IT IS WRONG .. their connection ?? she is probably connected to justin beiber as well ..she is a little girl , her body is JUST changing her mind is just changing , her view of this world and what she wants will be dipping and diving every other hour ..she is a child and if I saw them together I can assure you it wont change the fact that she is a child and this is wrong , why an earth you would think there is even a 1% chance I would look at a little girl and her 17 yr old boyfriend and suddenly think "oh look they have a connection" is beyone me . I presume that your around 17 as well ...if so then pay attention ..it is wrong on every level Link to comment
Roxie84 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 For one OP, you're going to find that a lot of people on this forum are older than yourself. Therefore you may roll your eyes when you see us telling you that it's wrong when some of your friends will say "ohhh but age is just a number!" No, no, no, no NO! When she's 23 and he's 27, COOL! But not now. She's much too young to handle the things he wants. Yes, dating an older guy is common for a lot of women because we view them as "more mature." But a 17 year old boy (almost a man) is not mature enough to handle a delicate relationship. I'm gonna sound like our mothers when I say this, but he only wants one thing from her! Sex! Because she is young, inexperienced, and vulnerable enough to believe anything he says. Here in Canada, you're 13 in grade 8 and 17 year olds are graduating high school and getting ready for college - a healthy 17 year old is going to have nothing in common with a 13 year old girl besides raging hormones. Link to comment
Nick7lno Posted September 15, 2012 Author Share Posted September 15, 2012 @Victoria66: Believe me knowing Jack, they would only have sex if they were both absolutely comfortable with it, hell even then it would be probably be Jack that would need the convincing, not Tani. She'd be more comfortable with it than he'd be. Link to comment
Roxie84 Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 @OP - of course his friends are all for it - they are immature as well and are supporting his friend so that he can get a girlfriend/sex @Shooting Star - you make me smile! Balls around his neck tee hee hee Link to comment
amipushy Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I disagree with the others. They are both children in the eyes of the law, and if they care about each other, have their heads are screwed on right, as the OP says they have, I see no problem with it. Young love isn't sordid, or wrong. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 @Victoria66: Believe me knowing Jack, they would only have sex if they were both absolutely comfortable with it, hell even then it would be probably be Jack that would need the convincing, not Tani. She'd be more comfortable with it than he'd be. oh god...are we actually talking about a 13 year old having sex ... this thread needs sending to prison along with your friend ... are you not seeing this op ..read your words .. Link to comment
Nick7lno Posted September 15, 2012 Author Share Posted September 15, 2012 I presume that your around 17 as well I'm 24 actually . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I disagree with the others. They are both children in the eyes of the law, and if they care about each other, have their heads are screwed on right, as the OP says they have, I see no problem with it. Young love isn't sordid, or wrong. oh so a girl whose body isnt fully developed along with her mind having a relationship with a 17 yr old isn't sordid ok Link to comment
Seraphim Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 Yup. The age of sexual consent is 16. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 15, 2012 Share Posted September 15, 2012 I'm 24 actually . your kidding me and your talking about a 13 year old having sex what the hell is wrong with you Link to comment
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