Girls Gone Bad - And not in a good way

[Tinkerbell]

Hey again everyone,

By reading through tons of posts every day I have gathered that you've all picked up on the sex-related changes in our society; one perfect example would be the amount of young girls and boys who are sexually active. One would hope this problem would disappear as these reckless teens get older, but it only seems to increase as their amount of sex partners grows to become a two digit number. Now who's to blame for this problem? My bet's on the media, as sex just happens to be everywhere, but I wouldn't consider this an excuse for their actions as I have not yet resorted to throwing myself at random men. However, I cannot say the same thing for some of my very close friends, and I can think of no better way to describe them than girls gone bad.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I adore my friends, but it really bothers me when I see them acting in degrading ways. For example, I would not consider dancing on a bar in a mini-skirt giving men a full view as respectful behaviour. However, I never really interfered as they're free to do what they want with their lives. But I have no choice to interfere now, as my best friend has suddenly morphed into one of those girls. She used to be the one person I could turn to when I was disappointed by some of other friends dirty actions, but she's become just as bad.

 

To give you all a better idea, let me tell you about her. Up until 3 weeks ago, she was completely innocent. And I mean completely, she'd never even kissed a guy. Then she started going out clubbing more often, and since then she has made out with 7 different men, and even allowed one of them a feel. I've told her I'm losing all respect I once had for her, and she just laughed. For some reason, she thinks this is funny.

 

I just cannot understand what has happened to her. She's always been rather shy, but it seems like she's suddenly realised that some men are attracted to her and she should use this attraction to get as much attention as possible. One of my guy friends calls this the "hoochie" phase, but I never expected my best friend to go through it. It seems like just yesterday she was telling me she was going to wait until she was married to have sex, but I wouldn't be surprised if she called me up today and told me she lost her virginity in a bathroom stall at a club.

 

Well I know I've just rambled on, but I could really use some input here. Has anyone had a friend or an ex or someone go through something like this? What do you think has caused it? And most importantly, how can I make it stop before the girl I love as though she were my sister ends up raped and dead in an alley?

 

Thank you in advance,

~Tink

[xbox_modding_freak]

tell her to watch herself and tell her if she goes too far bad thing swill happen.... Ask her why she's doing this all of a sudden...

 

 

-XmF

[shes2smart]

Saw this a lot in college...went through a "party girl" phase myself.

 

All you can really do is talk to her about it. You've done that, and she's apparently chosen not to listen. Right now, I'm guessing she really feels like she can control what's happening...she hasn't run into a guy who won't take no for an answer or one who'll go shooting his mouth off about her "hoochie" behavior to anyone and everyone. This is really a tough situation because it's one of those things that people seem to have to learn the hard way.

 

In a way, it is a power trip -- getting all that attention because you're dancing on the bar in a mini-skirt. She just hasn't seen the down side of it yet or believes it won't happen to her. At the bottom of it, there are probably some self-esteem issues.

 

Since you can't control her behavior or make choices for her, you need to decide for yourself how much of this you want to stick around for. Maybe it's time for a serious talk along the lines of, "I've noticed your behavior has changed and you're doing things like (fill in the blank). I don't think that's a good choice because (your reasons - men won't respect you, you could end up getting hurt...whatever), but I realize that it is your life." Go on to tell her what her friendship means to you and you care about HER, but not for her behavior and you can't sit by and watch her do this to herself without saying something.

 

You need to decide how much of her escapades you want to be exposed to...and that may mean limiting your time with her and/or putting the friendship on hold for a while. Let her know you will be there for her (if you are willing to do that), but you can't watch her do what she's doing anymore.

 

She's got a right to lead her life the way she wants, but at the same time, you have a right not to have your life polluted with someone else's poor choices. There is a possibility you could lose the friendship over this, but you need to keep your environment where you need it to be, y'know?

 

As for the media being to blame...well, yeah, partly. And partly it is every individual's lack of critical thinking about what's been fed to them/sold to them via TV shows, movies, advertisements, songs, etc. Unless you're in the media or advertising business, you have no idea how much research goes into capturing the "target audience" and how people are being manipulated. It's really disgusting...but not nearly as disgusting as watching people accept this crap without questioning it, and happily forking over their hard-earned money for whatever's being advertised.

 

But that's another rant for another time.

[OceanEyes]

I know exactly what you're saying Tinkerbell, and I think I actually live in the same city as you do, so I understand exactly the types of girls you're talking about.

 

It's not uncommon to go even to the mall here, and see 10-11 year old girls wearing clothes that I, myself, would not even wear to a club. Some of the outfits that I see young girls in here are so sad and disappointing that I can't even begin to understand what's really going on in their heads.

 

For example, last week I was shopping down town for something, and saw a young girl of about 9-10 - couldn't have been much older - wearing a pair of those tight jogging pant suits with the word "JUICY" written on the butt of the pants. What the hell is the world coming to when a child who is not even fully developed yet is wearing suggestive articles of clothing like this?

 

I think we can probably start by blaming the parents, then the media, and lastly, the dirty old men who respond to young women like this, not really taking into consideration the girl's age and obvious displacement with reality. I believe that if you have a daughter and raise her with some good values, give lots of love, attention and encouragement, there would be less young girls in positions like this. Self-esteem issues are where troubles usually come first. When a young lady has no real self-esteem, she is definitely more impressionable when seeing sexual images on television, and will need love and acceptance from negative sources because she feels empty inside otherwise.

 

The men who respond to young girls like this also play a role in my opinion - when you see a 12 year old girl wearing clothes and portraying herself as very promiscuous, step back and ask yourself if she's even old enough to understand what comes along with that responsibility - and if she doesn't have some personal issues and might actually be hurting a lot inside. So that means no whistling, no gawking, and definitely no touching in any way. This only encourages further destructive behaviour because she feels "loved" in some way - and isn't mature or developed enough yet to know that it's not in a good way.

 

I have a girlfriend who started having sex when she was 12, and whose number of sexual parteners is now into the 40's. Want to know how that started? She was sexually molested by her father throughout her childhood and abandoned by her mom at 10. She had to live with her father until she was 16, after that moving to her own apartment. 16 years old - working full-time to pay for an apartment. Trust me on this one - a young girl doesn't choose to be promiscuous. Most of us want to be respected, but some have a warped sense of it because of things that have happened to us. For the guys - remember that when you see 12 year olds in miniskirts and halter tops.

[sisterlynch]

I would just remain open and friendly to her. Eventually the stimulation is going to wear off and she will need a soft place to fall.

 

Tell her when her behavior goes too far and that you don't support "xyz" and if she ever does "xyz" then she isn't going to have your support.

 

Be very clear and realistic. If people react to her behavior by turning away or ignoring her, she is going to increase her attention-getting devices.

 

Try and remain neutral and friendly, but dont ever get to the point where you are "babysitting" her as this is enabling the poor behavior.

[chanceit]

It's not uncommon to go even to the mall here, and see 10-11 year old girls wearing clothes that I, myself, would not even wear to a club. Some of the outfits that I see young girls in here are so sad and disappointing that I can't even begin to understand what's really going on in their heads.

 

For example, last week I was shopping down town for something, and saw a young girl of about 9-10 - couldn't have been much older - wearing a pair of those tight jogging pant suits with the word "JUICY" written on the butt of the pants. What the hell is the world coming to when a child who is not even fully developed yet is wearing suggestive articles of clothing like this?

 

To be honest "JUICY" is unfortunately pretty inoffensive by uk standards....

 

This whole topic just depresses me - i shudder to think where we will be in 10 years time.

[Rigel]

It seems like she's enjoying the sudden attention and doesn't want it to stop. She may like it so much that she's willing to do all those things to keep it.

 

I would sit down and talk w/ her. tell you're worried bout her sudden unlikely behavior. Tell her that you care for her. That's not the kind of attention she wants anyway.

 

But I agree fully about the enormous impact our society has. There are girls in my school in 9th grade that are already pregnant!!! That's truly a shame. The whole media seems to focus on sex anymore. Have ya seen some of the commercials??? If I were a parent I wouldn't want my children being exposed to that garbage.

[tahlia]

I think peer pressure plays a big role in this behaviour. Especially in younger teens, in a group there will usually be a leader, the others will dress like her, act like her etc. How old is this girl? At least she's pretty much only kissing these guys, it could be a lot worse. Picking up guys at a club can be a real ego boost especially for someone with little confidence in themselves around the opposite sex. I've been in this position, and from time to time i'll still go out and kiss someone, it makes me feel good about myself especially when you are feeling unnatractive. Having said that 7 guys in three weeks is quite a few. I'd suggest that u talk to her and just ask her to be careful so that she doesnt go any further with these gus, it could be dangerous and i'm sure she also doesnt want to get a reputation.

[JonnyG]

I would have to say society is probably to blame. Girls seem to be growing up so fast (or at least they think they are), and the clothes some of them wear are ridiculous. 9-13year olds wearing thongs, t-shirts with suggestive logos etc

 

And an example of a good girl gone bad was my lil brothers ex. Before he got with her she had had just 1 boyfriend (he was a nice guy). My brother was with her for a year and a half or so, and 1 day out of the blue she said she was bored with him basically, and they split. In the next 3 weeks she went on to sleep with 4 guys (think it was 4), including 1 of my brothers friends who she even told my brother she didnt fancy, so why the hell did she sleep with him God knows. Also 1 of those 4 people she slept with she only knew for like 5 mins before dragging him to the bedroom. Obviously my brother was very upset, she seemed to be doing it on purpose to get at him, even though he hadent done anything wrong. After those 3 weeks she wanted my brother back and I think his reply was something like "I wouldn't mind but I would be worried of catching something" .

 

She then went on to go out with someone who was a really dodegy fella who had mates banged up. Her family must of been distraught. Luckily she has wised up and is dating an ok guy again.

[sisterlynch]

I have seen girls who are dressed too mature. It is just a stage, I think. It really depends upon the parents to step it up a notch and be a parent. Lots of people just do not have the confidence to tell some kid to shape up. There may be a problem with favoring one child and not addressing the issues of that child. Or maybe the girl goes to her friend's house and changes over there, who knows.

 

Around 13 or 14, we all go thru some bizarre rituals of adulthood. Sometimes it is to gain acceptance with peers or make your parents notice you. We often get carried away in the moment, or think that we are making ourselves fit in, or grow up.

 

We may smoke or try drugs. Having a friend along who will make sure that things get taken care of properly is the best thing to do, I feel.

[drahcir]

I think your friend is just looking for attention. Maybe few (if any) guys payed attention to her in the past and she is starved for attention. I think its best if you can find her a good boyfriend so she can have all the attention she wants but not have to expose her body to get it.

[DBL]

We don't really call these types of girls hoochies we call them pigs.

 

My first night out in Florida I go to a club and there were girls dancing on the bars taking their clothes off and kissing each other. It was a lot crazier then I remember when I lived here 6 years ago.

 

I think it is easy for some people to fall into the trap. They see the attention they get, and who doesn't like getting all that attention. Some of us have strong enough morals and some of us don't.

 

My x best friend, he was an ugly guy, but a real nice guy. Someone you want your sister to date. Over the last year he surprised me a lot. He started dating 2 girls at the same time and lying to everyone about it. I couldn't believe he was doing this...and his whole attitude changed like he was DonWan. I told him he is not who I thought he was, but he just brushed me and said "oh well, I don't care what you think, i'm having fun". Anyway I told him it wasn't nice what he was doing and I wasn't lying for him. Now here a guy that at 30 years old only had been with 5 girls, in which only 2 I would classify as girls, the others were beasts, but to each their own. This is his first time getting all this attention that any beliefs that he had, didn't matter to him no more. He liked the attention and for the first time in his life he felt good about himself.

 

A couple of years back my god daughter called me up to take her to school dance. Her parents could not give her a ride because 1 was drunk and the other was cracked out. So I went and picked her up. She was 11 years old and she was wearing a half shirt bearing her stomach and tight leather pants. And I guess her mom dolled her up with a ton of makeup. I was embarrassed that I have to pick her up later. No other kid was dressed like that, but most of the kids probalby didn't have druggies as parents either.

 

I also had an x girlfriend that was breaking out of her shell like your friend when she entered college. That all ended after she was raped at party.

 

I would probalby cut your friend loose for a while, let her do what she got to do and learn the lessons she needs to learn. You just need to worry about you.

 

DBL

[sonjam]

It's really just a phase.

I know girls and guys go through puberty. Not all do, and not all as early as 10 - 13 years of age. This stage is when the child, or young adult acts completely out of caracter, changes into somoene with no apparent morals, and who does not think of the consequinces to the things they are doing. They want to have fun, are quick tempered if things don't go their way, dress trashy, and act cheap. (this goes for guys too, but when girls do it, is is just so much more apparent)

 

Anyway, I was told by a therapist years ago, that this is a phase where they basically (not intentionally but this is a growing phase) break down, and reject the good morals and values instilled to them by their parents, and society. They then freak out, and go wild.

 

The good news is, this is a process where they slowly build up their own standards and morals, and mostly, those are exactly the same values and morals they rejected to begin with. For those who had a stable home, and good values, there's light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes even those who come from crippled homes, survive.

 

Sad but true!. Anyway the best thing you can do for them, is not to join in, but to stay true to them, not condone the things they are doing, but to be there for them when they need you. I know friendship is not a oneway street, but it is not always easy either. It takes work when things are tough to build true frienship, when it is going well with your friend, and also when she is confused.

 

The sad thing is, like Sisterlynch said, is the fact that they seem not to listen when you talk, it is something they have to learn the hard way, experience. You can not buy it in the store, or get somebody elses. you have to earn it the hard way!

[bleeder]

A good topic!

 

To cut a long story short, a woman's (or man's) body is their very own temple. What they choose to do with it is very much their own perogative. We cannot dictate what our peers should or shouldn't do. Maybe we could drop a friendly advice every now and then, but the ball lies in their court at the end of it all.

 

In this world of lies and deceit, good advice is rare and seldom heeded.

 

Many have gotten lost and some think that even sex, is a replacement for loneliness or it's sufficient to replace their love lost.

 

Whilst the world gets sadder, let us do what we should. Stand our ground and make the people around us see that when it comes to personal rules and moralities, there are no compromises.

 

My 2 cents.

[ComputerGuy]

This phase that girls seem to go through really bothers me....there is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING more unattractive and more of a turn off then a girl who gets drunk every spare chance she gets and who goes out and makes out with multiple guys, sleeps around, etc.

 

I have been on the recieiving end of this, my ex cheated on me with 2 guys in a carpark after a party while I was in hospital. When we first started going out she was a nice girl, now, from what I've heard, she's had sex with mroe guys than I have female friends....and trsut me, that number is well above 20.

 

The one that really bothers me and makes me want to slap the faces of some parents, is the 8 - 12 year olds getting around in micro miniskirts, thigh high leather boots, g-strings and lowcut midriff tops.....they are 8 years old and they look as skanky as Christina Aguilera in Dirrty. The worst I have seen by far is a 4 year old wearing stuff like that, it almost warrants a call to social services.....they are kids for crying out loud...they are supposed to be cute and innocent, not sexy.

 

I too shudder to think where we will be in 10 years time...I can just see 8 year olds losing their virginity left, right and centre now.......the world today is going to hell, but I refuse to go with it.

 

When (if) I get a g/f, It will be someone who has some morals left.....almost an impossible ask in this day and age (and before I get flamed, this applies to guys as well, and I know it doesnt apply to everyone). Any girl who thinks she needs to dress like that to look good or needs to sleep around or make out with everyone and think its funny is a girl I don't want anything to do with.

 

The reason is a lot of girls like this give accross the image they don't care and can't ( for lack of a better phrase) keep it in their pants. No self respecting guy (unfortunately we are in short supply) is going to date a girl who they think is going to cheat on them the first chance she gets because its "fun".....guys dont need this sort of stress, and neither do girls for that matter. I want some security in a relationship and as far as the girl may say she could give it....to me actions speak louder than words and those sorts of actions give a very strong message of the exact opposite.

 

It breaks my heart to see once nice, quiet girls turn into drunken promiscuous girls.

[johnagent1911]

I think your friend is living the way she wants for the first time. I think she's just exploring. Let her be. What can go wrong?

[Venturer]

I agree it's just a phase. I'm not surprised to see a quiet and shy girl suddenly turn into a Britney Spears wanna-be dancing at top of a bar and making out with all the guys. She was probably just bored with herself and wanted to go wild and do it for the experience. "You only live once."

 

I went through it myself, too. I come from a good home with loving parents and strong family values and morals. I didn't drink until I was 19 and remained a virgin till 20.

 

Then at some point in college, I decided to let loose and have fun. Had a string of one night stands and a few short-term flings here and there. Made out with girls in clubs.

 

But now I'm 25 and am too old for club snogging, which is actually pretty disgusting - considering all the drinks and cigs they had over the course of the night. Meaningless sex is ... well, meaningless. I want something more substantial. Like a loving girlfriend whom I can freely give myself to without the fear of getting burned.

 

The experiences I went through has in fact solidified the values that my parents had instilled me. Though there was nothing they could do to keep me from going through that "phase", I could never ask for a better job of them raising me.

 

Let them learn their lessons.

[Day_Walker]

Well your friend made a choice, it was hers to make and you cant really do anything about it. If you want her to see the error of her ways its going to take time. If you think its wrong then dont support her behavior. for example after she told you that she lost her virginity in a bathroom stall, you could have said one or many choices phrases that described her behavior. Your friend feels that getting attention from guys is more important than being on the moral high ground, once again it was her choice, just make sure you dont support her actions at all.

 

As for the younger girls dressing in too revealing clothes, children and teens learn by example, when they see other ladies dress in these clothes they envy them and want that kind of attention. If people think that these clothes are unacceptable then they should be unacceptable for all not just based on age. People have different perceptions of what is age appropriate, and some parents just dont care. Teens and young adults have always pushed the envelope to define their sexuality. THIS IS NOTHING NEW, it has happened and it will continue to happen. If you believe that its wrong then show your displeasure but thats all you can really do. Most people have no control over situations like this, so there is no use getting flustered if you are helpless in the situation.

 

I dont recall who exactly made the "dirty old men" comment, but im sure that younger girls dress that way just so they can get attention from these older men (sarcasm). Men at whatever age are going to look at attractive women or women in revealing clothes, so thats just something you have to get over cuz once again its not going to change.

 

Personally I dont feel that things are changing as dramatically as people are pointing out, these things have happened in the past, the only difference now that more people get a chance to see this behavior.

 

P.S. the sweats that you saw with the word "juicy" on the butt, there actually is a clothing line called "Juicy Couture". So if you werent aware of the that clothing line then the word seems more sexually suggestive than it would normally.

[chanceit]

P.S. the sweats that you saw with the word "juicy" on the butt, there actually is a clothing line called "Juicy Couture". So if you werent aware of the that clothing line then the word seems more sexually suggestive than it would normally.

 

Don't you see thats intentianal cynical marketing.

 

We have the whole fcuk (french connection uk) range here:

 

and don't give me that rubbish its just the name of the brand everyone knows what its meant to say. Its an intentianal marketing thing.

 

To be honest if i'm going to make a statement wear a t-shirt saying .... i would not obsuriate it - i would write it as it it.

 

Would you say a t-shirt saying "good fcuk" appropriate for a 12 year old girl?

 

I dont recall who exactly made the "dirty old men" comment, but im sure that younger girls dress that way just so they can get attention from these older men (sarcasm). Men at whatever age are going to look at attractive women or women in revealing clothes, so thats just something you have to get over cuz once again its not going to change.

 

who are they dressing for because boys at that ages of 10,11,12 are generally not that interested in girls that way....

 

The point is men should not be looking at them the're just kids!!!!

[bestfootforward]

But now I'm 25 and am too old for club snogging, which is actually pretty disgusting - considering all the drinks and cigs they had over the course of the night. Meaningless sex is ... well, meaningless. I want something more substantial. Like a loving girlfriend whom I can freely give myself to without the fear of getting burned.

 

they're the ones that REALLY burn you.

 

and on topic - if this girl is old enough to go to clubs then it sounds like she's just having fun.

[Venturer]

But now I'm 25 and am too old for club snogging, which is actually pretty disgusting - considering all the drinks and cigs they had over the course of the night. Meaningless sex is ... well, meaningless. I want something more substantial. Like a loving girlfriend whom I can freely give myself to without the fear of getting burned.

 

they're the ones that REALLY burn you.

 

See, that is exactly the jaded outlook on life and dating that I am trying to AVOID and get rid of.

[daredevil]

Reading the thread and all these comments to it, really makes me think of the world today...

---------------Don't read if you don't like spelling mistakes, and a long list of opinions given by me. -------

 

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As for thread generally speaking, I think you should give her some distance and let her do what she wants to, but also at the same time you should be there for her, when she relizes what she has gone through.

 

As a person earlier mentioned life is a long road of learning, thereforeeee she perhaps wants to experience, how it is to get some attention from other people, and by this choice she also has to face the consequenses. So down this line of experience, you should be there for her, because when she realizes its better to be the person you knew before, you could help her finding her old me....

 

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Comments:

Where should I start.. hmm.. Well these outrageous behaviours from people aged 12 or younger really gets the thinking begin. How did we end up with a society, where our own children acts as if they were 10 or 15 years older?

 

Every single person (generally speaking), wants to bee seen, heard and not overlooked by other persons, thereforeeee our development as an individual is formed by this. (I know a lot of persons would disagree, but i'm just trying to make it plain and simple... flaming not needed).

 

As a child and even as teenager, we form the ground aspects of our coming life. It all depends on how we were raised, our sorroundings, social standards, culture, idols, media and I could continue mentioning things, which would have had a greater or less impact on the developing of a person itself.

 

Instead of focusing on the behaviours or on the other above mentioned "things", I would really like to think that the question and answer for this could be found at the feet of ourselves.

 

We are entering a whole new age, with tendencies we never could dream of becoming such a big problem, where sex and other hilarious aspects gets the attention of the media (the awareness factor), and people who wants to make money(the power behind this).

 

This tendency about sex and stuff can't be stopped, I'm sure that this is a never ending development, which will be formed throughout the next decades, thereforeeee the problem is just in front of our feet!

 

The focus should be put on, how the above mentioned tendencies is recevied by the people of this generation....We can't stop it from getting to them, but we surely have the opportunity of limiting it.

 

This is where the role of a parent or the role of a close being friend gets into the spotlight. Because if we want them to grow up in a save environment, with what we would call a normal childhood, then we need to give them more attention, and hereby putting more effort into making their life great. Of course this would have an impact on the lives of ourselves, but isn't that worth the risk?... If you want a child you have to take the responsibility of it, meaning that you until their age of 16, will be there for them, even if its meaning "whatever it takes".

 

I don't know whether or not im right, i just think the problem should be found at ourselves and the development we have gone through thoughout the decades!

 

Because why are the media showing sex and other disgraceful things? Why do lots of our children and teenagers dress if they were ******s? Why do they do such things to get the attention from other persons? Why, oh why?

 

Because the world of the past didn't do anything to stop it, and if we did, the trying wasn't good enough.. we are those to blame for why the world is developing into what it is today! We are facing a whole new line of problems, which in my opinion, has been caused by our own acts through out time.. If every single person could see what the general speaking population sees, then this problem would exists, but people nowadays are often to individual focused, where their careers or perhaps marriage gets in the frontline before their children...

 

This is just a lot of my thoughts messed up.. I don't know if it has any meaning, but i just wanted to get it out to you all..

 

Yours sincerly DD

 

 

Should we blame it on the media, tv, models or actors/actresses?

Should we lay all our power on finding a solution, which will get things "back" to normal? What is normal?

 

Instead of focusing on the behaviours or on the other above mentioned questions, I would really like to think that the question and answer for this could be found at the feet of ourselves.

[geo_jane]

Something that this tread brought to mind was all the teenage girls that get into relationships with 20, 30 something men. I wonder what could possibly be going through the mind of a 20/30 year old when he tries to "get with" a 16 year old (besides the obvious). I know adult women have done this too (i.e. Mary Kay Lateurno).

 

There are teenage girls on this forum all the time that say they were in or are in a sexual relationship with an older man. I really think these girls are being taken advantage of but try and tell them that ](*,)

[the iguana]

See, many give the advice of 'let them have their fun, and when they calm down, give them a cushion to fall on'. I say *profanity deleted by moderator* that.

 

If i had a girlfriend that does that, well guess what? I'm not taking back a good girl turned bad. If it was a mutual thing where we both turned bad, then thats fine, because its still monogamous in theory. But a girl who turns bad and leaves her boyfriend behind while she has the time of her life has no moral vistas in her mind. I wouldn't take her back, and i'd give her hell and a half. Sloppy seconds? Absolutely not.

 

My two cents in the matter is this: let them know you dislike their behavior. Make it darn clear that you won't tolerate it. And stick to it. If they can fool around and you'r still without balls enough to take her back, she knows she can do it again. Any guy who allows a stanger kissing them or anything else isn't a good guy, even drunk i wouldn't allow that. Don't take he back...If all good guys dispose of waste in a proper manner, the bad can rot together in bed.

[Venturer]

That's why it's best to leave them alone when they're having fun. Yes, if that means breaking up with them for good, so be it. They'll have other friends and family to support them.