Cant make them love us if they don't...

[ChellyV]

i thought it was a cliche but in reality, it is the outright truth...we cannot make them love us if they really do not.

 

ex and i broke up on november of 2011. strict NC until june when he sent me a birthday greeting. slept with him after a month of small talk, and what do you know, a photo of him and a girl in his FB page just 3 days after the rendezvous. i would say, this reality check really put me to a place where there is no more turning back. it is just the fun of the night and there is all there is to it. the worst part is, i said i don't think i am ready to be friends yet, and he said, whatever you need to do to move on, i am all for it. it struck me again..this man will never love me the way i want to be.

 

so, we cannot force it upon them if they have decided that they cannot. no amount of trying will win them over. it is what it is....

 

heal yourselves, ENAers.

[mhowe]

another "ah ha" moment. Best wishes for the healing...

[Ferrero]

I agree, we can't force anyone to love us. If they fall outa love with us, then they fall outa love. My ex told me I love u but not the way I used to, I love u but not in love with u. That moment that u realise we can't make them love us if they don't want to is crushing but yes, its a reality. All we can do is pick ourselves up and remain positive

[Chinafish]

Oh Chelly, what a **** he's been to you

 

Hope this helps you heal even faster, and doesn't set you back x

[rattenkrieg]

thanks for your post chelly. it brought me a few tears but this is one of the most important truths that we need to face and internalize. it's most vital that we do.

 

I love u but not in love with u.

 

you took me back ten years, June 2002, age 16. the first girl I fell for in adolescence. this is exactly what she told me. lots of crying that night. got over 3 months later. seems girls have this habit of breaking my heart in June.

[tness]

slept with him after a month of small talk, and what do you know, a photo of him and a girl in his FB page just 3 days after the rendezvous. i would say, this reality check really put me to a place where there is no more turning back. it is just the fun of the night and there is all there is to it. the worst part is, i said i don't think i am ready to be friends yet, and he said, whatever you need to do to move on, i am all for it. it struck me again..this man will never love me the way i want to be.

 

so, we cannot force it upon them if they have decided that they cannot. no amount of trying will win them over. it is what it is....

 

heal yourselves, ENAers.

 

Why can some humans be so cruel.

 

This guy don't deserve you. Actually he don't deserve anyone.

[FreeFallFeelin]

It is a simple truth. And possibly the most important one to realize in order to heal and move on, yet also the hardest to accept.

[bw92116]

And even if you could "make them" love you, would that be real love?

[Worker]

Im sorry you had to go through that...

 

As much as I miss my ex girlfriend, even if she gave me the chance i wouldn't even touch her let alone be intimate. why because i would want the security of a relationship before I add one more memory that i have to shake.

 

consider it a lesson learned. you're a bit stronger and smarter now.

[photograph11]

This is a great thread. I think it's importnat to recognize that, it helps to move on simply because it makes us realize how if they wanted to be with us, they would. So no matter how much you cry, and feel sad, it is out of our control what they feel and so no matter what you do will not change that.

[Heartbroken17]

This is the most fundamental yet most difficult thing for us to do. In my case, it was hard as he kept saying he loved me when he was breaking up with me so I was confused for a long time. Now, I'm starting to accept that if he really did, there's no way he could have watched me be in so much pain. If he loved me, he would be with me - simples.