Ex is txting me. Conflicted on what to do.

[Shadowbite]

A few days ago I told her that I was done. To only contact me if we were going to reconcile, meanwhile ill be moving on.

- She didn't like this too much, persisted saying we should be friends. Also saying that if maybe we stay being friends, it could become something. However, I told her no, I don't want to be friends because i don't want to hide my true feelings, it isn't fair for me or her.

 

Despite that, she ended up hurting herself (not self-inflicted, on accident) the next day and txted me to tell me. Being the nice guy that I am, I helped her out, gave her advice, and cheered her up for the next two days.

 

After the two days, I just stopped talking.. I feel as if by me contacting her and talking, my original message of me moving on and wanting no friendship seems invalid.

- Besides, she probably wouldn't txt me if I stopped talking to her right? WRONG!..

 

Since then shes given me 8 texts, all saying shes becoming worried because I don't normally just not text back.. hoping that i am ok and what not... and frankly, I don't know what to do!

 

I'm conflicted with this, as I'm not sure what to say or do.. Should I restate my position? Should I just tell her im ok and stop talking after? Do i just not say anything and let her wonder?

Also does anyone have any idea why she might be trying to be more friendlier and more talkative to me, ever since I told her I was gonna move on with or without her?

[Sportster2005]

I wouldn't try to analyze it. You made it clear to only contact you if she is interested in reconciling. Politely restate your expectation and intentions. If she persists get a new phone number.

[EgoJoe]

She is manipulating you and you are letting her.

[Shadowbite]

@Egojoe

 

Can you be more specific? Like why you believe that.

[mixhot]

call her!! and say. """look are you interested in having a relationship with me?? if not then i would like time to heal and move on as i cant be friends right now, am sure you understand""""

 

after that start to heal and move on, the ball is in her court.

[AnnaLouise]

Respond to her, it is very rude not to since this will keep her wondering why you are not responding and what is going on.

Just make sure to be clear to her about your intentions. Going cold Turkey with the contact might be hard for her, so try and look at the situation from her perspective as well.

 

She is not trying to manipulate you, be a man and give her a call explaining why you want no contact.

[HeartGoesOn]

You've already made it clear that you want "NC." That said, I would simply tell her this will be your last response, unless she wants to reconcile. Say what you mean, and mean what you say, she'll soon get the message.

[FrenchFries]

I agree with HeartGoesOn. She's not as clueless about your silence as she'd like you to think she is.

[Shadowbite]

I feel as if shes trying to ease me into a friendship or some sort. This is quite all ironic really; before telling her I was done, she was resenting me and didn't want to talk. Now she seems interested..

 

So if she's not "clueless". Should i just let her figure it out on her own? or just tell her straight out.

 

when I restate my posistion; should I apolagize for not talking to her for a while, or no?

[brickheart]

NO don't apologize. Just restate and be done with it.

[EgoJoe]

She is manipulating you by pulling at your sense of humanity to get you to relax your boundaries (NC etc.) and you are letting her because all you have to do is decide not to and enforce it.

 

Are you this GIRL's Waiter and Nanny? Are you serving her cake and feeding it to her? No? So stop.

[Shadowbite]

She is manipulating you by pulling at your sense of humanity to get you to relax your boundaries (NC etc.) and you are letting her because all you have to do is decide not to and enforce it.

 

Are you this GIRL's Waiter and Nanny? Are you serving her cake and feeding it to her? No? So stop.

 

In your eyes, egojoe, would you think it would be better for me to restate my position, or just not say anything so she can see the position for her self?

[sadlilchicky]

As a woman I can tell you that if you just disappear and stop talking to her without telling her why, that will hurt her feelings. I know you already told her that you needed to stop speaking, but she obviously didn't take you seriously the first time. So this time, the best thing to do would be to tell her what you need and why, and then stick to it. If she contacts you, ignore her. If she keeps contacting you, remind her of your condition that in order to have contact, you have to be back together.

 

You're giving her everything she wants right now..she has her cake and she's eating it too..but you're not getting anything back in return. Stick to your guns.