In love with pictures?!? After 20 years?

[Svetik]

Oops..I totally missed this bit. How does a fantasy grow by itself? Are you saying that your thoughts and feelings are not of your own volition?

 

Of course not. You can hide feelings, suppress them, push into your subconsciousness, but how does that help? Will it make you happier? If those are real feelings they will resurface later. Or some feelings may go away by themselves.

[Svetik]

Darling, I'm sorry that you are of this opinion, but a therapist is usually NOT anything like you have described here!

 

I believe that just like in any field there are good therapists and bad therapists. And just like everywhere it is hard to find good ones. I am sorry if you believe that they hold the ultimate prescription for your happy life, but they don't. Listen to your inner voice, trust you gut feelings and not anybody else. The only therapy I personally believe in, and that was the one I actually went to years ago, is when they let you talk everything out and just listen. And you come to your own conclusions after that. I forgot how it's called... But they don't tell you what to do. I agree that people need to talk to other people. But nobody has any right to tell people how to live, including therapists, who often have a lot of their own unsolved problems and that could have been the reason why they came to this field in the first place.

 

 

Believe me, Karma will find you, and bite you on the bum!!

...

All he is, is a ghost; a mere figment of your imagination in this present moment in time.

 

So, you believe in KARMA, but you don't believe in FATE? Or love at first sight? I do believe in those things.

And sorry if your "ghost" turned out to be not your fate, but that doesn't mean that it wouldn't work for other people. Just saying...

 

That being said, I am not going to jump on the first plane to fly overseas to meet my fate

 

And speaking of the husband... I was just HONEST with him and confronted him that it bothers me that he is taking Chinese lessons with a personal woman-tutor. To which he said that I have no right to control him, shut the door and left for his lesson.

[dasilver]

You are giving yourself reasons to cheat on your husband...

 

So go and cheat...

 

Maybe you'll feel better once you've done what you want to do...

 

(shaking my head)....

[Svetik]

Nope, unfortunately, the reality is much simpler than you think. I will put kids to bed and then have a glass of wine. I can't just "go and cheat", he lives overseas and most likely thinks that I am too old for him now.

Btw, if you think that I invented the chinese tutor, you are wrong

 

So, hide the Scarlett Letter "A", I will not be trying it on.

[Moneypenny]

Well, I believe we could go round and round in circles on this. Not once have I said I believe that therapy is the ultimate prescription for one's happiness. What I do believe is that we all become a little 'lost' at some point in our lives; lose perspective, or fail to see the bigger picture, thus enabling unhelpful choices which lead us further away from happiness. Please don't take offence, but I think you have a very pessimistic, and dare I say, a slightly bitter, and mistrusting, view of therapy. You are perfectly entitled to not seek help via this route. Nevertheless, you have come to this forum seeking advice and help from complete strangers, the majority of whom have been in therapy at some point, and thereby 'qualified' to some extent to offer support and advice through their own discoveries and insights which they themselves gained through therapy. Or counselling, or whatever.

 

Actually, I do believe in fate. But what I meant in this specific instance is that the reconnection with your guy at the precise moment of his wife leaving him, is just pure chance. If you had no feelings for this guy, the idea of fate wouldn't even come into it; but because you do, it's very easy to read all sorts into what it means; i.e. his wife just left him, therefore it must be fate that you suddenly reconnected after 20 years.

 

This is how I interpreted your original question, “is it fate?”.

[Moneypenny]

Svetik, I don't know what your underlying issue is, having just read your most recent thread on another post. I was completely taken aback. Whatever it is that you're looking for, I hope you find it soon.

 

Best wishes X

[Svetik]

I am asking moderators to delete the 2 of my threads on this forum. I tried to send a Private Message, but that feauture was disabled for me.

In addition to privacy concerns I also believe that this forum is not what I was originally looking for. Thanks.

[Svetik]

Please delete this thread. Privacy concerns and also not working out.

[csr14]

You should try not to go at it as if everyone is attacking you. People want to help but when you get upset it doesn't do you or the advisor any good. People learn from each other here.

[DN]

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Thread closed.