Heart's been shattered tonight

[Zohariel]

I just found out that my ex is seeing someone now. After only 2 and a half months of breaking up. He was my first love, my first everything. And now I'm a mess. I have a midterm tomorrow but all I can think about is the two of them together.

 

I'm so, so, so, broken right now. I can't even see the words I'm typing.

[SuperDuper]

I'm sorry about this, but you can't let allow the memory of him to ruin your midterm too. Instead, try to understand how amazing you'll feel if you do well on it. It will show that positive results in your life can be attained from within yourself. You don't need somebody else to be happy, it may feel like it now... but in time you truly won't care about him.

[annie24]

hi - i am really sorry about this. for now, i think you should focus on your exam. tell yourself you can cry after the exam but for now, don't think about it. if it helps you, chances are that they just started dating, nothing is serious and things can go in any direction at this point (they could even break up tomorrow for all you know!!) if that helps you study tonight, think of things that way. in the scheme of things, the exam is most important, so try to clear your head, focus on the subject material, and do the best job you can, ok?

[sonicfan287]

Annie, as much as I agree with your advice as far as focusing on the exams, I wouldnt think of the context of the relationship at all (as far as how serious it is or not) - as far as youre concerned right now -- at least pre-exam, your ex isnt seeing anyone. your ex may not even be in the same state as you anymore. I know it sounds harsh but Im just saying. Your ex needs to be so far out of your mind (which trust me, I know is hard, because if youre like me, you may dream about them tonight) so that when you get to your exam, thats all you remember, the exam. The exam material. Then after that, as Annie says, you may release your tears after.

 

Im not minimizing the pain youre in, but I happened to see my ex's facebook profile picture on accident and saw her with another guy, cuddling with him. Of all the classless things to do... knowing how Id feel about that and telling me things would be okay and we'd still be friends and blah blah blah. Then after the fact, she updated her relationship status and said their "anniversary" was March 10.... 3 days after we broke up...

 

This was all unfortunate timing of course, because on March 14, I had attempted suicide.... I was FINALLY starting to get my mental health back and then I saw that - had a major setback. The police had to be called to make sure I didnt do it again and I stayed overnight in the mental ward.... freakin worst week of my life.... please... if you need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

[Dinocaz]

Hi im sorry you are going through this, its not easy but at some stage truth and hard fact is our ex's do move onwards usually without looking back. Focus on the most important person in all this which is "you". My ex went straight from me to another leaving me stunned and breathless. I still get bad day but also inbetween good ones. Give it time concentrate on your needs - adopt an attitude with the understanding that at some point you will really not give a damn about what or who your ex is with. Take care and take the advise to focus on your midterm.

[MasterPo]

It happens. Can't say "get over it" because it doesn't work. Take a deep breath. Eat something decadent - it can be food too. Okay, it was lame joke but I hope you laughed.

Sometimes a good laugh helps to wear off the shock. It will be okay, most of us made it and are making - so will you. Read all my PT stories and maybe that might help. I can't loan you my bag of dog food as I still need a few stairs to climb every now and then.

 

It will be alright.

[Ms Darcy]

Get off ena and focus on studying for your midterm. Go to the library if you need.

[Mizz]

I'm so sorry I know it's tough.

But you really need to make sure you focus on your grades!

 

My ex broke up with me at the worst possible time, after I just got a dress all ready for his prom, literally right before our 2 year anniversary, and even worse before my finals! I had to pull through and still study. It was really hard because the whole BU was so distracting but I managed through, studied, got enough sleep, and actually did well!

 

I believe you can stay strong too! You need to study, make sure you eat, and get enough sleep for your midterms. I know it's hard but you have to focus on yourself and focus on what has to be done. Talk to friends to help you, talk to family to help you, studying will also take your mind off of the situation. Make sure you study and take breaks when you need to. I know it's hard and the BU is distracting but you can stay strong. Hang in there.

[mpeer]

I agree with Mizz. Sleep and eating helps a lot. Ace that midterm and you will feel a whole lot better about yourself.

[sonicfan287]

True that.

 

Actually that can apply to a lot of things as well. Its inevitable that your self esteem takes a nose dive when you find out something like this, so the first thing you should do is do whatever it takes to raise yourself back up. Acing that midterm would be a good start. The sooner you realize how strong you can actually be without him, the better off youll be in the long run

[FreeFallFeelin]

As crazy as this sounds, this is going to be the event (him being with someone else) that spurs you to really let go of your ex, and start to move on. My ex left me for somebody else, and it took me about four months to process it and really let the scope of what happened sink in; she really did toss me off a cliff, and she isn't coming back, ever. Anyway, once it finally finally finally sank in, it hurt really badly for a couple of weeks. I didn't think it could get worse than it was, but it did After those two weeks or so, with the epiphany of complete acceptance, I had this feeling like I was on a desert island, alone, and had finally given up searching the horizon for rescue ships, and started building a new life on Broken Man's Island. I stopped waiting anxiously for some sign that she was thinking of me, or even cared for me anymore, because at this point I knew for sure that she wasn't thinking of me, nor does she give a damn. It's not a good feeling. In fact, it's really tough and sad. But once the reality of knowing your ex has completely left you behind, and IS NOT coming back ever, it sort of makes you realize that all your worrying and thinking and hoping are for nothing. When they find a new partner (or leave you for another) its the biggest sign you can ever get that they are completely 100% without a doubt, over you. You can let them go without worry, knowing that you're not giving up on a love that has potential. It's done.

 

But yes, it still hurts, and will take a lot more time to completely heal. Good luck.

[Zohariel]

Thanks for all the support everyone. I really appreciate it.

 

A little update: I haven't slept well for the past 4 days. I cannot sleep the night through. Everything hurts right now, I can't eat, I feel sick to my stomach and I feel like my muscles are slowly breaking down. Also, I failed my midterm.

 

I talked to him two days ago because I wanted to hear it directly from him. He owned up to it, and said that he was spending a lot of time with her and really likes her. I told him that it was very hard for me to accept because I never got closure and he said he didn't either, and that he's not completely over things, and maybe he never will be, but that he's still moving on with his life.

 

My friend just woke me up and told me she ran into them. It is SO not what I needed right now. I then bumped into a picture of their date today, at a restaurant I have always wanted to go with him. This pain is just unbearable. I don't know where to go. I am so broken right now.

[annie24]

Hi - I'm really sorry for your pain. Try to distract yourself as much as you can. Funny movies, go to the gym, etc.... Hugs!

[Stay_home]

Mid-terms, mid-terms.

[FreeFallFeelin]

So sorry you're going through this Z. It is incredibly painful, I know.

 

NOW is the time to remove all social media connections, so you don't find yourself looking at pics of your ex with new people. Each time you do, it reopens the wound. You have to quit it like quitting a drug.

 

Tell you friends to STOP updating you when they see your ex. I had to do the same. Any mention of the ex would send me into a tail spin.

 

You're going to be a mess for a while. Just realize that what you're going through and the way you're feeling is normal (even if it is terrible), and will get less intense in a few months (I know that sounds like an eternity right now). Be gentle and patient with yourself. Try to back away from rehashing details of the Rship and breakup, and instead focus on the general sadness of loss.

 

Go to the gym, or just walk. Walking for some reason, is a huge help in settling the mind.