miss_sunshine86 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I don't know why because I was feeling so much more positive but I really miss him lately. Still havent heard from him since he disappeared 1 month ago and I've been NC for about 2 weeks, deleted him from FB last week (he was ignoring me on there anyway and posting about moving away when he hadn't even broken up with me). Just remember all the nice things he did, he always did my food shopping, rubbed my feet, took me for nice dinners......yeah he's done this before but this time felt different. It's * * * * ty - know I just have to ride it out, there is no point in contacting him and I won't, I am just feeling really crappy like I'll never meet anyone else and be stuck in love with a man who disappears from me, Ugh - Link to comment
Divine010 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 HB, That's not true at all. He is not the last man you fall for. It's normal, some days you will feel like you are you best and the some you worst or like crap. Just go through it. That's what we all are doing. Even if you have to call someone up and talk about it. Write about it. Do whatever you have to do to get through the day. It sucks. Hang in there. Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 Thank you Divine. I know there are bad days and good days. Just feel sad over the past two days I guess. Link to comment
Divine010 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I know it must hurt for someone to just up and leave without a word. What kind of human being does that? A coward I tell you. But just continue to remind yourself that would you want to be with this guy again and picks up and leaves? You don't deserve that. On those sad days, try to keep yourself occupied with things or go meet up with some friends. It's going to be tough, but just know that you are not where you were a month ago. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Hang in here girl..it will pass. Are you doing healthy things for yourself? I am deliberately NOT going to the gym when I see my ex'es car...won't give him the satisfaction of seeing my face. Funny...he never went to the gym as much as he does now that we are broken up...lol...strange coincidence??? Hmmmm?..sometimes I wonder if he does it as a ploy to see me, but I know that's my ego talking...lol Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 I am yes.....so healthy that my bank balance is looking very grim. Lots of nights out with girl friends, lots of clothes shopping, lots of going to the gym/spa.....to be honest for the sake of my bank balance that is going to have to end Haha - well, have you considered changing gyms?! I wouldn't be able to work out scared I might bump into ex! x Link to comment
kozar Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 If it means anything to you,you are not the only one right now with those feelings I am also going through the same thing,and it has been almost two months.I can't say that i am not better,but it still hurts soooo much.And i don't have feeling that that sadness is going to be over one day... Link to comment
Divine010 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 The sadness will be over some day. But not as soon as we like to think. The more you accept the break-up and let go the better. But everyone has their own timeframe and process of accepting. And that's okay! Link to comment
JA0371 Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I am yes.....so healthy that my bank balance is looking very grim. Lots of nights out with girl friends, lots of clothes shopping, lots of going to the gym/spa.....to be honest for the sake of my bank balance that is going to have to end Haha - well, have you considered changing gyms?! I wouldn't be able to work out scared I might bump into ex! x Haha!!!! Noooo HE can switch. He always comes in AFTER me. I leave when I see he is there. I have done enough! Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 I just read an article in Marie claire. 3 attributes of "the one". 1. He does you no emotional or physical harm = obviously my ex does me emotional harm by disappearing 2. You have to respect him and his choices = I don't respect my ex because he won't fight for access for his own child 3. He has to love you = well my ex never said he loved me and actually told me he didn't yet In spite of the above, I miss his actions and the nice things he did for me. How crazy is that? My standards must be in the gutter. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Oh girl, keep strong. You are not the only one doing this right now (me too, actually) So really, find some inner strength. Everything will be alright. There are always ups and downs in our life. We can't feel happy every day, but soon you will feel much better, and it's really not the last good and romantic man in your life! Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 Thanks PrettyGood. And those are some lovely shoes in your pic Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 I miss his actions and the nice things he did for me. That's a good thing I think! Because you miss not HIM. You miss just the actions and nice things he did. Someone else may do those things in time and you will feel as good as you were You don't need him exactly to make you happy. Thanks PrettyGood. And those are some lovely shoes in your pic Thank you, I like them too Link to comment
confused1979 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Thank you Divine. I know there are bad days and good days. Just feel sad over the past two days I guess. Your not alone, I'm having one of those bad days today. I hope your feeling positive again soon Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 I just read an article in Marie claire. 3 attributes of "the one". 1. He does you no emotional or physical harm = obviously my ex does me emotional harm by disappearing 2. You have to respect him and his choices = I don't respect my ex because he won't fight for access for his own child 3. He has to love you = well my ex never said he loved me and actually told me he didn't yet In spite of the above, I miss his actions and the nice things he did for me. How crazy is that? My standards must be in the gutter. This^. Good realization. This guy is worthless. You keep saying that he "disappears" on you. Is he a secret agent?? There can be no explanation for that kind of behavior except that you have excused it in the past. I hope you stay strong this time because mark my words, he will resurface when he feels like it. But lets break down the "disappearing" for the huge breach of trust that it is. This is not being late for dinner or not returning a text promptly. This is a guy saying you do not deserve the explanation as to why I am not longer in contact. His time is being spent with others and he has effectively cut you out of his life. Yet you remember the foot rubs!!! Please.... get some 20/20 perspective here!! The nice things he did for you are actually quite standard, stuff that would be considered easy to do since it did not inconvenience him too much. Follow the history all the way through please, do not just spot light one event. Did you give him sex after or before the foot rubs? Did you ever loan him money? Pay his way? Buy him clothing? This guy gave you mere crumbs and probably GOT in return from you to a much much greater degree. He was never going to chance his selfish ways. Good riddance to him and hello to a new life. Stay strong! Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted May 5, 2012 Author Share Posted May 5, 2012 Thank you Paint With Light just saw this. I never leant him money (actually he leant me money occassionally!) and he never wanted anything from me. I suppose he is just who he is when it comes to the disappearing he is purely emotionally screwed up and will never change. His dad disappeared from his mum and they were married for 20 years. But he hates his dad. But maybe he's messed up for many reasons, I will never know. He will never change without serious help which I know he'd never bother to get. The thing most keeping me from calling him is when I think of my future. What if I were pregnant, married. I can't even imagine how horrific it would be for your husband or father of child to disappear... even if it was just for a few days. Link to comment
One day Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 It's always hard to let go of people you love, even when they do ****** things to you like your ex did. I guess he's going to keep on running from whatever it is that makes him act this way until as you say he takes responsibility for himself and gets help. Hope you feel more positive soon. Link to comment
DumpedAgain Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 I can relate.... Different emotions and feelings come and go but let this be the LAST time he does this to you... because if you stay strong and ride it out, you WILL meet someone better. And you will be so glad. Like you said, if you keep dealing with him the stakes only get higher and more hurtful. Hang in there!! Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted May 6, 2012 Author Share Posted May 6, 2012 It's only been a month since he disappeared. But for the first time in about 6 years I feel like I genuinely don't want to talk to him! I really don't. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 That is really good. Let's hope that it's not only for today and tomorrow. You need to keep strong. Link to comment
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