Do I still have a chance?

[401]

Hi,

 

I am a 24 year old male. I was seeing a 27 year old female for about a month and a half. She recently ended the relationship. It was strange the way it ended because we had plans the evening she broke it off to go out and earlier in the day she said "I don't think this is going to work out" and I asked why and she said she had personal reasons. She said she was overwhelmed and getting stressed out. She has a lot going on with school and work. I respected her decision but was kind of disappointing she didn't give me a clear answer because I told her that I was willing to take it very slow and to anything I can to help her out.

 

So basically I made a huge mistake over the last week or so with texting and calling her and not really giving her space. She recently blocked me on facebook and told me to leave her alone. Of course it seems like there is no chance for anything in the future. Does anyone have any advice on this issue? Do they have an experience with this or getting back together with the person. I really enjoyed spending time with her and I still feel like there is a chance (Being positive about this).

 

I would like to give her space and maybe contact her in a few weeks to go out in a non pressured situation. Any help appreciated!

[Fraggle]

Take your time, let the dust settle and leave her alone for a while. If you leave it long enough she may get back in touch with you... with any luck,

 

I made a similar mistake many years ago, it'll hopefully blow over

[randolphea]

Although it looks pretty grim at this moment, you can never say never.

 

You made one of the biggest mistakes a guy makes-- allowed the rejection to get the better of you and resorted to the pleading and begging phase. Don't feel bad, we've all done it.

 

If you want ANY chance whatsoever, I say you take the facebook blocking as a blessing. Now you won't be tempted to look at her profile and see what she's up to. Give yourself a month or so to move on. Then, after that, you've both had your cooling off period, send her a handwritten letter. Brief. Tell her that you're good with her decision, Tell her things are good. Come up with something to thank her about, but don't tell her in the note. Phrase it like "I wanted to thank you for helping me out with something important. I wanted to thank you in person, but that's not possible right now so I'll wait until a later date."

 

Heck, maybe she'll contact you.

 

If you don't hear from her, wait a week or so, drop her a text saying hello, and a short little fun message that will remind her of a fun time the two of you had. Leave it at that.

 

If she doesn't respond, sorry, it's time to leave it alone. If she DOES respond, don't bring up the situation you broke up at all. You need to keep it positive.

[401]

Thanks for the advice!

[DylanNotorious]

No I don't. I think she's made her mind up and that's it. Unless she reaches out to you, I would not contact her.

[LDRohnos]

I'd plan to not be hearing from her again. If you do, then you really need to take a different route and a very gentle touch. Fact is if she does contact you again, her general disposition towards you might be completely different.

[Fun Boater 1]

Put this experience into perspective. You were only involved with her for 6 weeks. That isn't very long at all. Had you even talked about a relationship? Being committed?...etc..etc... It would seem like at 6 weeks you were only in the beginning "dating" stage of something, but I wouldn't call it a "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship. Those things develop over time, and only after both people have talked about "defining" what you have going on between you. Had you had any conversations like that? Rather than mourning a "relationship", you are only mourning the potential you thought you and this girl had. Realizing this will make it easier to let go of.

 

Yes, you royally stepped in it when you chased her pleading and begging her back after she broke it off. NEVER DO THAT. EVER. Lesson learned. What you should have done is just backed away and left her alone after she broke it off. Remember, when someone pulls away from you, chasing them only makes them run faster and causes them to lose attraction and respect for you. When a girl rejects you, always smile and say "thanks, been great hanging out with you, but if that's what you want, then I respect that". THEN WALK AWAY AND STAY AWAY. Chances are good that had you done that, she may have came back around at some point wondering why you let her go so easily. By smothering her after she broke it off, you did nothing but reaffirm her decision to drop you because your chasing and begging made you look insecure, needy, and weak...and you never want to give that kind of a appearance to a girl you are interested in. EVER.

 

The only thing you can do at this point is to forget about her completely. There is nothing to "think positive" about. She is gone. She has blocked you on Facebook. She doesn't want to hear from you. Respect her wishes and leave her completely alone. Start looking at other women and date them. Just don't contact her anytime soon. Do not send her a hokey letter in a month either. That's just games, and she'll see it as such. You might hear from her down the road, but it may be way down the road. I would just write her off and chalk this up to experience and set yourself a policy of "if I hear from her, I hear from her, If I don't, I'm not going to be contacting her" and move on.

[401]

Fun Boater - Thanks for your advice as well. You're right we were in the beginning stages and that's probably what I'm mourning the potential of it. We had discussed basically taking it slow and I wouldn't say I was BEGGING but I was just keeping conversation with her. She was keeping it going as well but whenever I brought up why she wanted to end it she would get upset. I just wanted a clear answer I think and I would of been in a better position. Thanks people!

[Fantanos]

Fun Boater hit the nail on the head man, I am sorry but he has the right advice for this one. Don't contact her, if she is interested she will contact you.. maybe someday down the road. The Facebook block is a bad sign, I am sorry. The asking her over and over what went wrong just pushed her further away.

 

401- I know it sucks, I truly do. In the dating stages when we like someone we get excited and we apply pressure to the women with out even realizing we are doing it, we are floating on cloud 9. Once we realize what we are doing it is usually too late, it sucks. A lot of us have been there. And honestly, there is never a clear answer given when this happens, you just need to accept that as much as it sucks.

 

Take this experience and learn from it, use this info for your next dating experience, take things slow and let her pursue you some. Move on and then this girl might come back, if she does I would say it will be a month or more... don't wait for her. But there is always that chance...

[LittleHope]

I just wanted a clear answer I think and I would of been in a better position.

 

i understand that desire to seek answers for closure, I'm wired the same way. But in my experience the answers you get after a breakup are rarely honest or complete, so I wouldn't put too much stock into them even if you get them.

 

Focus on your feelings, don't try to decipher hers, in my experience the latter is a complete waste of time.