Tips on How Not To Wear Men Out With Sex

[Silverbirch]

Olright me lovelies! I'm ready for any advice you can give me. Thanks in advance! xxxxxxx

[memento]

lol, Don't know it's usually the other way around for me! However, you could try oral, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, blind folds, and fuzzy cuffs..

[Lonewing]

Look into other ways to be close, intimate, and together, without being sexual. Put a day of rest between heavy days. Masturbate, or let him give you handjobs. Buy a good vibrator...and let him use it...

[Silverbirch]

Hey Thanks Lonewing. Yeah, good point - give adequate days off - and sick leave too, but I draw the line at annual leave!

 

I'm not into the sex toys, but maybe I could take your advice and get my man to use them on me. I'll think about it.

 

Fuzzy cuffs?? For me or him???

[hrtlsngl7]

Olright me lovelies! I'm ready for any advice you can give me. Thanks in advance! xxxxxxx

Get on top.

[Silverbirch]

Get on top.

 

I already do that - it's my favourite position.

[Batya33]

Maybe just ask your bf whether he is ok if he seems worn out?

[Silverbirch]

Maybe just ask your bf whether he is ok if he seems worn out?

 

The thing is Bataya, a lot of the time, we don't realise until afterwards. It doesn't seem like over-exertion while it's happening.

[mhowe]

Not a doctor, but if it is causing more than momentary fatigue, he should get a stress test from a cardiologist.

[Silverbirch]

Mhowe, I do worry about his health, and it frustrates me that it's so hard to get him to a doctor. He has to be practically dying before he will go to a doctor. That has been how he has ended up in hospital in the past. Now you're getting me worried.

[mhowe]

My bf and I same age -- and while he is a contractor w/ a strenous job, he is also overweight. And the act(s) of intimacy will leave him breathless ----but only for a few minutes. Honestly, it does the same to me.....I think of it as a good cardio workout You haven't given much more info than "worn out"....but if he is breathless, calling out in pain -- or worn out for the rest of the day....it speaks to blood flow issues.

 

I hope you can get him to a doc.

[Silverbirch]

Thanks Mhowe. No, he isn't breathless. Afterwards, he feels really relaxed and good and usually sleeps peacefully. The problem is usually more the next day. He has several symptoms of borderline diabetes although blood tests have never shown him to have diabetes. I've got testing kits of my own - both my own parents have/had (Dad's passed away) diabetes. I haven't gotten around to testing his blood sugar levels myself although I know he would like me to. Definitely, he says that he sees a big difference with lethargy after eating foods which are high in sugar (he has been a chocoholic for many years but now doesn't cope so well if he eats chocolate and gets sick afterwards). When he had his medical with the aviation board doctor, he was put on blood pressure tablets although he had never had any problems with blood pressure detected in the past. He has been back to the doctors about that, but basically, if he doesn't take the tablets for the blood pressure, they won't let him fly. I know myself that a long time ago, I was taking medication which had a side effect of lowering my blood pressure, and after 4 years, I opted to stop taking it because of the lethargy caused by low blood pressure. The other thing is that I don't want to be his nurse or a mum-type. It isn't because I don't care about him - quite the contrary. Coming from a nursing and related background, for some of us at least, it's something we have to be vigilant about because it's sort of natural for a lot of us to fall into that role which can become quite unhealthy. In any case, it wouldn't work at all with him because he's so stubborn about things like his health.

[mhowe]

My experience w/ diabetes (my dad) --- is that untreated, the glucose levels can fluctuate greatly and cause lethargy. If possible, keep him away (or teach him to avoid) too many simple carbohydrates --- breads, sugar, etc...yes, chocolate, pasta ---- a healthier diet might make all the difference. If he's enjoying the nightly sessions and sleeps well afterwards, then his lethargy is more likely attributed to dietary issues --- diabetes, blood pressure meds, etc.

[Batya33]

The thing is Bataya, a lot of the time, we don't realise until afterwards. It doesn't seem like over-exertion while it's happening.

 

I understand because I do the same when I work out. Perhaps decrease somewhat how often you have vigorous sex?

[pl3asehelp]

If you're on top and he's still getting worn out, there's something major going on.

[Silverbirch]

Thanks Mhowe, Bataya, P3H, it is looking to me like he has some sort of health problem. I don't know if there is much I can do if I can't get him to see a doctor, but can cook healthier food when we are together - something I nearly always do anyway.

[duke nukem]

Is he out of shape? Could always try to work out together, which of course may lead to other things.

[memento]

Hey Thanks Lonewing. Yeah, good point - give adequate days off - and sick leave too, but I draw the line at annual leave!

 

I'm not into the sex toys, but maybe I could take your advice and get my man to use them on me. I'll think about it.

 

Fuzzy cuffs?? For me or him???

 

Fuzzy cuffs/blind fold for him .....to spice up the man on bottom position..

[drmcsugar]

I get on top and ride him like a seabiscuit; then after I'm all worn out, he can do the rest of the job and start pleasing me

[chitown9]

Silverbirch, I suggest that you do a google search for foods that naturally lower blood pressure. I saw a program just today about which foods are recommended for that, but for the life of me cannot remember even one of them!

[scklbad]

Mhowe, I do worry about his health, and it frustrates me that it's so hard to get him to a doctor. He has to be practically dying before he will go to a doctor. That has been how he has ended up in hospital in the past. Now you're getting me worried.

 

saw a vid the other day....63 yr old man was having sex with a 23 yr ol girl....had a heart attack....so ya the stress test may be in order LOL

[Silverbirch]

Thanks all. Well finally got around to doing 2 blood sugar testings with a home kit and his BGL was 6.2 before eating dinner and then 6.8 after dinner. I was mindful to prepare something simple but which contained a combination of protein and carbohydrate. I think a substantial part of the tiredness is due to the fact that he has been vegetarian for 15 years and a lot of his meals are not nutritionally balanced. I first became vegetarian 30 years ago and after a couple of years went back to eating meat because I got so anaemic and run-down. There's a much greater variety of vegetarian foods available now though. When I went to the shops yesterday to get something fast for us to eat at lunch, I was reminded that vegetarians (and I suppose non-vegetarians) really need to think out what to eat before they go to the shops because so much of what is on the shelves, particularly in the bakery section is mostly refined carbs and sugars and not a lot of goodness. We don't live together yet, but I'm a lot more clued up on food and cooking than he is although he does all of his own cooking and taking care of himself.

 

I found out for the first time last night that he has a hiatus hernia which he says is minor and docs don't see a need to operate on yet, but he does take regular antacids for reflux and stomach discomfort. I also saw a few minor injuries which he nearly always seems to have. Right now, he has a fairly large scab on his arm from a horse bite which happened around 2 weeks ago. He also has an ulceration coming back on one of his lower legs which he has ended up in hospital with in the past, and it was that which brought up the question with docs as to whether he might have undetected diabetes. He's got very bad feet too, but much better since I've been with him.

 

Working out right now isn't an option though both of us are more physically active than our children who are in their early 20's. For so many of us, him especially, changes to employment and the stresses of being self-employed causes so much anxiety. He has just cut back to working 6 days a week instead of 7, but then he has a lot of things he needs to get done on his property on his day off and not enough time to do the things he loves. I'm one of the few people outside of work who he has answered the phone to for quite a while.

 

It's hard not to get more concerned than I should be. He has said to me a few times that a lot of men he knows look for women who mother them, and that it isn't what he wants, but I know he was very appreciative about the attention I gave to his feet a while back although he was very self-conscious about them- damage caused from running in poorly fitting and quality runners years back.

 

Thanks Chi, I will do a google on the foods for blood pressure. Anything I say or do though, I will be very sensitive about. I don't want to seem like I'm mothering him.

[Silverbirch]

Just a quick update: He was dramatically better today (very busy day with work and plenty of sex too) after having an unusually healthier and larger breakfast - oats with yoghurt. Normally, he just has toast which is definitely not enough for a big solid man doing physical work. I converted him onto the oats and yoghurt. Now I just need to take that advice for myself. Used to eat oats all the time and it's just one of the best foods for well-being. I think I'm onto something really good here. I checked out your recommendations too Chi. I think I'm going to start buy him packets of almonds as little love gifts.

[Batya33]

Silverbirch -he sounds like my husband -very sensitive about being mothered especially when it comes to his diet. What I'd do with the almonds is just have them with you and when you snack ask casually if he'd like some. If he likes them enough he'll buy them himself and have them with him to snack on. I "converted" my husband to being a breakfast eater just by offering to make him what I make our son (and now he is always hungry in the morning which as I'm sure you know is healthier than eating heavily at night and skipping bfast) and when I'm having an orange for dessert I tell him that I won't be eating the whole thing-should I leave half for him? That kind of thing.

[Silverbirch]

Great idea Bataya. I know he likes almonds too. Oh yesterday at my dance class, we were talking about how so many men just won't go to see a doctor unless they think they are dying. One of the womens boyfriends had recently complained to her about chest pains he was having. She finally convinced him to go to doctor and he was put in hospital. Turned out he'd had a heart attack the day before.