Turning 30...too late for love?

[mochaleet]

heya! Thanks! That was very uplifting. You sound like a wonderful person.

[zveric]

I totally agree with you about the height thing and New York. The shallowest women in the world live here. There are literally Millions of beautiful women here who won't give a perfectly decent guy the time of day for a million different reasons.

However, This should bake you feel a little better. My recent Ex, who is 5'2" (I am 6'3") recently left me for a guy who is maybe 1" taller than her.

He was her dance teacher, and apparently, her other guy for like four months before she left me.

I am better looking, more successful, smarter, better educated, and a whole foot taller than this punk, but he's rocking her world, and she loves him and wants to have his children.

I moved out of our house yesterday and guess who's moving in next week? I think he's like 30 too.

 

So while I'm sitting alone crying and thinking no woman will ever love a freak like me who has to stoop so far to kiss her his knees creak, you're wishing you had some of what I 've got.

 

Look at it this way, When you're standing with a nice petite girl, everything is lined up. What could be better than that?

[insomnia]

Thanks all...

 

Mochaleet, you sound like a good woman and I hope u find what you are looking for.

 

Oh and for some that asked.... Im 5' 4"

[lonelynshy]

I can understand where you're coming from. I'm about 5'5" and 20 but I have NEVER had a date, never been kissed, and all that. I disagree with those who say that we have our "whole life" to find a mate. What is the point of finding love just a few years before death? Okay,it probably beats not ever finding love,but it's a poor substitute for finding love early in life. I am a family-oriented young man and although my future career is important to me, it is not a passion or driving force. A good,sincere,loving girlfriend or wife wold make me happier than a job that pays me 30 bucks an hour. (although it'd be great to have BOTH)

[insomnia]

Well 20 is better than 30

[DBL]

I was 30 when I met my future x wife, she was 20. I have a friend that is only like 5'6, so he says. He never had problems getting women...but he did get a woman with kids now. Before my future x my girlfriends was 21 and before her 22. I almost dated an 18 year old, but then I found out I slept with her mother. So that got squashed pretty quickly. I regret now sleeping with her mom, but how are we suppose to know these things? Anyway...her mom was one of the most gorgous women I ever met.

 

Anyway........a lot of women are career oriented today...which is why most are miserable and probably will not get married. I think some of them put the bar up to high seeking guys with education and a job. I meet women like that here in Florida. I would not sweat this stuff, just live life and everything will fall into place. Your just a year older, thats all...not dead.

 

DBL

[hmm...letmethinknow]

i'm 32 and i've never so much as been on a date, let alone been in any kind of relationship.

 

depressed? well, actually...

 

but that's not the point. i think that the point is, regretably, that your perspective, your view about yourself...well...it's killing you. in fact i'd venture so far to say that despite what you may think - what you might 'say', on the surface - how you perceive yourself likely had a significant role in your recent relational breakup. i'm sure that underneath you feel that painfully, and take on more responsiblity than you care to admit too.

 

now i don't want to lay a heavy on you. i just believe that right now is a great time to really find out why you are struggling to develop meaningful relationships. to go further (please don't take this as cliche): what do you like about yourself? because you need to like at least a few things about yourself to begin to feel attractive - to be attractive to women. and i'm not too sure if your actually do like anything about yourself. this is an incredinly difficult place to be in. in you need hlp to get through it . and it might take quite a long time (think a year - minimum!)

 

Perhaps like me, you really do love certain aspects about yourself - really do find them really attractive - but you are overwhelmed with your hurts and consequential bagage that you carry around.

 

couselling is really helpful, especially if you don't have close friends or meaningfully safe family relationships. it's taken me neigh-on five years to feel confident about myself, enough that i feel 'yeah, i can be part of a meaninfgul longterm relationship'. Overkill perhaps, but it's be really beneficial in beginning to really understand and trust and appreciate myself. i still struggle insofar as other peoples perspectives are concerned. but within myself i'm really quite comfortable. enough that at polytech i'm able to be my own crazy eccentric self (and i'm noticing that thre a a few women who find me quite attractive)

 

as for the ahight and age issues:

 

height: i have a great friend who must be about your height. he's mazrried to a really intelligent attractive confident woman. they form a positive and reassuring relationship for each other. height's not an issue: she is no taller than he. there are a HUGE number of INCREIBLY beautiful attractive intelligent caring women who, frankly probably don't give a **** about your height. it's just no an issue with a lot of women (not all women, but enough to give you significant hope

 

age: on that fron i'm in a similar boat to you. i am a perpetual student, and i havn't yet finished my degree (the end of next year), and i often doubt i have anything to offer (i'm not really that practicle, or methodical).

 

Most of the women i'm around are in their v. early twenties (even late teens), which does raise some difficulties. But two things to consider: women in their early-mid twenties seem - once they gain a bit of confidenceto become themselves (not just who they feel the're supposed to be) - grow into a truly radient personal besuty (well, maybe more so with slightly introverted women), but it's wonder to behold. Secondly, a six year differece isn't really much - even now, and even much less as you both get older. I have quite a few friends in this catagory, and we all get along famously. they';re all quite attractive; more so as i get to know them. certainly i'd consider a relatiohship out with someone aged 24, maybe younger. although i would possibly prefer someone a little closer to my own age. however , how well you get along - the nature of your relationship - is most important. It would really depend on the person (and of course yourself).

[DBL]

hmm...letmethinknow

 

You need to get out more. I'm sorry to be ignorant, but how do you stay single for that long?!

 

DBL

[SecondChance]

DBL:

 

Do we have a little hostility towards career minded women? The miserable and unmarried women who have "high" expectations about their men having jobs and an education level similar to theirs?

 

What's up with that...?

 

I'm a career minded woman who loves her career so much that I will probably never have children. I am also married to a wonderful guy who has a job and an education... AND who has always supported me emotionally and never once expected me to sacrifice my "job" for his...

AND who isn't threatened by a woman who happens to have a higher level of education than he does, makes more money than he does, and "in some ways is smarter" than he is (his words).

In fact, he thinks it's sorta sexy.

 

No offense, but...?

[DBL]

SecondChance,

 

I'm thinking you may have some hostility. You seemed to take my post as something personal, but it was not directed to all career oriented women, just the ones that are not happy with their lives and continue to complain. If you live for materialistic things, then you will probably have a materialistic relationship.

 

Thats great that your husband is not threatened by your money, career, education and everything else that you feel is important to have in life.

 

DBL

[hmm...letmethinknow]

being really screwed up! what's worse than the scent of desperation? that was me; to a degree still is me.

 

there's a point where i've got sick of the entire thing, of being screwed up and all, at being no good at relating. surely it's better to take time out from relationships (not that i really had much option), and work on being less screwed up? no relationship is better than one without a future together - at least for me.

 

also, culturally, the whole "dating" thing is an american anomoly. i don't know if there's another culture in the world so obsessed with "the date". Is it anywonder that america is also prosac world capital? (do you think i'm i'm attacking america by saying that?)

 

i suggest that you also need to get out a bit. check out some of the other forums. there are many with profound points. check out this one

link removed

 

you are right. i do need to get out a bit, but sonethings aren't always as simoke as you might like to think. For me, that's relationships. (yes, i am fun, entirely unserious, quite humorous - except for relationships)

[insomnia]

Just to add....my ex didn't break up with me cuz of any of my insecurities...she actually thoughtg I was quite secure.

 

She broke up with me for another woman....yup.

 

And she was 20. Maybe youth was the issue I dunno.

[hmm...letmethinknow]

sorry. i've obviously made a fairly poor judgement, not having all the facts, implying things that aren't there, etc.

[insomnia]

nah you were just giving advice for a normal situation....just happens my situation wasn'y normal.