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zveric

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  1. zveric
    You definitely need to do something to move the relationship in a more romantic and sexual direction. Ask her out to something that is obviously a date, like dinner, or dancing, or a play. Or invite her over to your house and offer to cook her dinner. Then make a physical move. Don't talk about it. Just take her hand. Kiss her. hold her low around the waist while you walk. Hold onto her as if she belongs to you. If she blows off any of these advances then you have your answer. Really though if she has agreed to let you cook her dinner, she should not act all surprized if you make a move. If you ask her out on an obvious date, and she accepts, and then still tries to friendzone you, she is bieng disingenuous. However, she is probably totally into you, and is waiting for you to make the first move. Make it.
  2. zveric
    You gotta get out of there girl. You gotta make yourself gone. It seems like a huge thing to leave your home. It seems like it will take forever. You have to figure out a safe place you can land and then take off. I lived with my Ex for 2 months after she told me we were over, and it was the worst time of my life. Plus, you're Boyfriend is totally hitting bottom, and you don't want to go with him. This is not necessarily a terrible thing for him. Everyone does it at some point. You absolutely should not be there for it. I haven't posted here in a long time. It's been 8 months since I've had any kind of contact with my X girlfriend. Tonight I was missing her though, and thought I'd read a bit. Your story really touched me. I know you will be OK. (the thing you'll find out later is, you will be so much stronger for this. It is good that you can't go to your parents. You need to move on, not back.) I pray you land on your feet, and I wish you good luck. Let us know what happens. Eric
  3. zveric
    Mine too! exact same time frame as yours Whattheheck. She lives with him in our appartment. Drove me crazy for a while. Chill out dude. 4 months is nothing. This is gonna take you like a year. I saw my ex for the first time this thanksgiving at a friend's thanksgiving dinner that we have had as an anual tradition for the last 8 years. The new boyfriend came up and tried to talk to me. Almost got the **** kicked out of him. Took all my strength to turn around and walk away. Cool thing is, it confirmed what I suspected about him, which is that he is a complete moron. I now think they are perfect for each other. I started smoking at the tender age of 28. Try it. it works great. ;-)
  4. zveric
    Wow! I can't even imagine the stress you are under now. Here's the thing, you've got to keep your head together man. There are really only two emotions that come along with this; Fear and Anger. Neither will serve you well in your current difficult job. The fact that she does not understand that is really shocking. 1. Try not to be scared. There is a good chance that, without breaking any civilian or military laws, you will be able to scare this guy off when you get back. You are, after all a soldier, and he is probably a stereo salesman or something like that. 2. Try real hard no keep your head cool and not let anger overtake you. Make sure you don't shoot anyone that doesn't need shooting, as this will only make your life more complicated. Try not to transfer your anger onto your subordinates, superiors, or companions. I have a big problem with this in my civilian life, as my job is very demanding, and this contriuted to my girlfriend leaving me. Remember who you are angry at, then try to put that anger in a box until you come home. Good luck, and stay safe.
  5. zveric
    It is really rough when we talk to them again, even if it goes well. It sounds like you were really honest with him, without losing your composure, which is really hard. I could not do it. I said I was fine. You should be proud of how far you've come, that you can even talk to him and keep it together. I don't think you did anything wrong. I don't think of NC as a hard and fast rule. I saw my ex at one wedding and one funeral (her father's) this month. neither was easy. Keep posting. Eric
  6. zveric
    I'm so sorry to hear about that man. Here are a couple of things. It is typical girl BS to think you can be "on a break" or "friends." I'm sure guys do this too, but I swear to god, my ex thinks FRIEND and SUCKER are the same word with different spellings. Just out of curiosity. Were you living together? For how long? (surely not all 5 years) This will be a tough bit no matter how it turns out. Good luck.
  7. zveric
    I have dreams where I visit her in her old appartment. She appears to me as a kind of shamaness, or wize woman. Usually wearing some sort of hippy chick long robe like she did when I first got together with her, and some sort of crazy head dress thing. she gives me advice. Tells me to be strong. weird huh? I always get to her house by the roof.
  8. zveric
    It's only been 3 months. You were together for like 3 years right? The exact same thing happened to me in August. No S. Only with me she had been secretly seeing him since like May. I am actually really POd that I will probably spend a whole entire year of my life digging myself out of this hole. I know exactly what you mean about feeling sad all of a sudden. I'll be fine for a week at a time, but if I have time to think to much... there I go. There is a constant refrain behind every thought I have: I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her I miss her... Maybe it will always be there, but it is usually quieter now. Also, I think it's pretty unavoidable you're gonna hear about her and how she's doing. If you have any friends in common, and you undoubtedly do, it's gonna come up. I wouldn't hold my breath for trouble in paradise anytime soon though. It takes a while for people to get bored of each other, if they're going to. Everyone is telling me it won't last, but I think there must have been an incredibly strong attraction between them for her to toss me aside, because we were really happy together. So happy I never saw it coming. Your ex may stay with this guy for a year, or maybe the rest of her life. They might get married, and then divorced. Who knows. I know my ex is thinking about marrying this new guy. There is no predicting or controling what other people will do. It is imposible. I feel for you dude. I'm not gonna tell you to feel better, let her go, move on, live for yourself. If I knew how to do that I would. I'll just say hang in there, and feel better soon. good luck.
  9. zveric
    Roger that. No flowers for the Ex. I don't know if there will be a funeral. They were estranged. I have no idea what they will do. I'll send flowers to her mother's house. thanks guys
  10. zveric
    My Exe's father died yesterday. I called her to give her my condolences. She was pretty cold. I was/am on really good terms with her mother, and I'm going to send her flowers. Question: should I send my ex flowers as well? even though she dumped me for another guy, and I really don't want to be with her anymore? I want to the appropriate thing, and not make a point of slighting her by sending flowers just to her mom, but I don't want to seem like I'm doing this to reingratiate myself with her. I just want to be sensitive to the situation. What do you guys think? Please respond fast. E
  11. zveric
    I don't think a guy who was turned-on could be turned off by dog hair. Maybe dog (DELETED BY MOD) but eeven then...
  12. zveric
    See!?! What the heck?! Can some females share a little insight here? Is this, like, something you all know about? Check out my new signature.
  13. zveric
    Detroitlove: I am beginning to think, from my own experience, and reading these boards, that there is a biologically driven hormone cycle to love, especially in females, that lasts like, exactly 3 years. The number of guys on here who were dropped suddenly and with no warning, after exactly 3 years, (myself included) is too much to be a coincidence. I am beginning to think that their body begins to tell them that if they haven't gotten pregnant by this man after 3 yrs, then he is probably sterile. I think this happens whether they want to have children or not, or whether they are on the pill or not. around the 2 and a half year mark, my girlfriend lost interest in me sexually, then blamed me for our lack of passion, then started an affair with another man, then, within weeks of the 3 year anniversary of us hooking up, boom. He moved into OUR appartment exactly ONE DAY after I moved out. I think they have a biological egg timer built in, and without kids, it kills whatever love they felt after an unknown amount of time. The thing is, we both wanted to have kids, and we talked about it, and we even were kind of trying. Not trying the way married couples try to have kids, with thermometers and the like, but we weren't being careful. That sure doesn't smell like commitment phobia to me, but all of a sudden, that's all she wrote babe. All the girls and women on this forum are now free to trash me. I'm ready.
  14. zveric
    2 girls, 2.5 bottles of wine. Damn, you Irish girls can put it away. Nice job.
  15. zveric
    LinZ I feel for you girl. I think a lot of older people forget how intensly the young feel these emotions, and how it is no less real that than the loves and heartbreaks that come later. It sounds like in spite of being rejected, you still have really good self esteem, and a really good body image. Good for you. Most young people never appreciate their beauty until years later. My advice is to try and move on when you are ready, but not date or hook up with a guy unless you really like him, and you think he really likes you. It is never too early to demand the best and most respectful treatment from men.
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