Dissapointed With Your Marriage Proposal????

[drahcir]

First of all I want to say I am sorry for going off topic in some of topics I have posted in and I will try not to do that again.

 

But here is my concern: Some people (well some women) say that the time thier now husbands proposed to them was not very romantic. It seems today that too many guys want to do something original rather than something romantic to propose. Like I know one guy who wrote "Will you marry me" out of scrable letters. Interesting, but hardly romantic (being asked to get married over a normal game of scrabble?? Or another guy whose fiance was a nurse. So he dressed up in dressing and then lay in a hospital bed with his face wrapped up like a mummy. And then he ask her (the nurse) to get his "pee can"...and when she got it for him, she found a wedding ring in it. Original, yes, romantic, ummmmmm..............

 

so does anyone here have any disspointing engagement proposals??? Or was it everything you dreamed of???

[mahlina]

Interesting, but hardly romantic (being asked to get married over a normal game of scrabble?? Or another guy whose fiance was a nurse. So he dressed up in dressing and then lay in a hospital bed with his face wrapped up like a mummy. And then he ask her (the nurse) to get his "pee can"...and when she got it for him, she found a wedding ring in it. Original, yes, romantic, ummmmmm..............

LoL!! How funny!

 

If I had to chose something 'ideal,' I'd rather keep it simple. I think that keeping marriage proposals simple is more meaningful, rather than doing something extravagant. That in itself, makes it more romantic. Why do people have to be superficial about their proposals? I think it's more romantic when proposals are done traditionally ( i.e. asking the parents for approval, even if they don't approve). By doing so, it just shows that the other partner is serious enough, and selfless enough to consider the 'in laws'. That to me, just shows a deeper meaning of respect and reverance to the true meaning of marriage and family.

 

I don't know if you've ever seen the show "A Perfect Proposal" on TLC. I keep on thinking to myself, why go through all of that mess? I wonder how long that relationship will last. I know it's romantic and all, but if you truly love someone, then why would you have to show to the whole world that you love that person so much? Why does it have to be so superficial? What's there to prove? I prefer to keep it simple and have proposal where both partners are just cozy and comfortable with each other, like at the beach, under moonlit stars. I wouldn't like anything to be heavily orchestrated. Then it would feel too fake. But that's just my 2-cents worth! Mahlina

[RayKay]

I would love something done like that - it brings more personality into the whole thing! Romance is nice too, but not necessary - I think if you can bring the personality of the people/relationship into it, why not! Who's to say that is not romantic

 

I think those that might get worked up about a proposal not being romantic enough are those who are also worried about how their wedding will turn out, rather than excited about the lifetime commitment they re entering into.

[Mermaid]

I don't know if you've ever seen the show "A Perfect Proposal" on TLC.

 

I actually love that show. I think it's very romantic that these men love their women so much that they've gone through a lot of trouble to make the moment of proposal special. And these men usually get their ideas from something that's important to their girlfriend or the couple as whole.

 

My boyfriend is a hopeless romantic, as am I. And during one conversation about a month ago, I innocently mentioned something I'd seen on "Perfect Proposal," which I'd found incredibly romantic, and he responded with, "Well, I already have some ideas for when the time comes." And because he knows me so well, I know that whatever he does, it will be special and will reflect what we mean to each other.

 

So, while I do believe there are some proposals that seem over-the-top (as though the men are most concerned about making a public show of it), I also think that it's very sweet when a man takes the time and effort to make the moment as big and important as the decision to wed.

 

And as far as weddings, my ideal would be a tiny wedding--just me, my guy, our parents, grandparents and his brother--and we'd be barerfoot on the beach. I hate the pomp and circumstance of large weddings; it seems like the meaning is lost amongst the bells and whistles.

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Mermaid I like your relationship!

 

I'm either insanly jealous and envious or happy that relationships like yours exist!

[Mermaid]

Mermaid I like your relationship!

 

I'm either insanly jealous and envious or happy that relationships like yours exist!

 

Well, thanks! I like my relationship, too!

 

And before I was in it, I didn't believe relationships like this one existed--but I wanted to hope so... lol. That's why I'm not letting this guy get away! I'll never forget my mom saying that, after she met him, she went raving to my grandparents and said, "I couldn't have handpicked a more perfect match for her myself!"

 

 

[drahcir]

Hey Mermaid,

 

your dreams of a beach wedding sound great!! Thats an awesome idea.

 

Anyway, for a very long time I hav thought about how i would propose to the girl i finally find and love. This is what I have thought or. I would propose for sure on our annerverary (One year, 6 months, or on her birthday). We would take a ferry (a large one) and then i would take her to the upper deck (or the deck where their are few people) and then just hold her in my arms with the wind blowing the sea and mountains all around and the perfect scenery. Then we would go to the end of the deck and i would take her and hold her and ask her if we can do a replica of the titanic thingee. And then after that I would face her, holding her in my arms, and then tell her how much appreciate her and lucky i am to have her and how long i have searched for someone like her and then i would bring out first a golden chain and tell her this is a gift to show my appreciation of her being in my life for the last year (or whatever amount of time). And then I would put it on her and let her try it out. And then I would say "This chain represents my love for you for the last year, but I have something to celebrate our love and my appreciation of you forever. Then i would bring out the ring. And then propose to her. Should i get on one knee?? Is that too traditional??? I don't know.. thats what i would do though. Now all i need is a girlfriend.

[griffonholly]

I was short of being handed a ring and he asked me while hugging me. No knee, no sweet words, no thought put into it and he admited that. It REALLY upset me and I am considering giving the ring back and asking him to do it again but with thought and feeling. Should I do that? How can I make the not so memorable moment memorable?

[Mermaid]

I was short of being handed a ring and he asked me while hugging me. No knee, no sweet words, no thought put into it and he admited that. It REALLY upset me and I am considering giving the ring back and asking him to do it again but with thought and feeling. Should I do that? How can I make the not so memorable moment memorable?

 

First ask yourself this: do you really want to begin your life together under sharing the memory of you giving him back the ring and demanding a redo of the proposal?

 

Don't make the proposal more important than his love for you or the fact that he loves you enough to have asked you in the first place.

[sphinx999]

When my boyfriend proposed to me to everyone else it seemed a let down but to me it was amazing. WE jointly decided to get engaged i just left the official question up to him. He proposed on our one year anniverasry in the place where we had had our first date. There was thunder and rain and he just whispered in my ear will you marry me? It was the most amazing moment of my life because it was simple and loving. I know that you will proberly notice my age and call me a hormone crazy adolescent, but we don't plan on getting married for a few more years. We just plan on enjoying being with each other because we are so comfy. I think I will be with him for the reat of my life but you cannot tell the future.

[JackH]

to begin, i am not married, nor am i anywhere near being married. however, i can say that i've given "the proposal" very much thought, and it only seems right to do something overly romantic. sure, inventive ideas are neat, but they aren't lasting. as the proposer, you aren't going to get the proposee to do the whole, break down in tears, smiling and crying, and barely able to get out "yes" reaction by playing scrabble. i think you need to sweep the lady off of her feet. do something very classic and romantic. not to mention it makes for a much better story in the future.

[Mermaid]

When my boyfriend proposed to me to everyone else it seemed a let down but to me it was amazing. WE jointly decided to get engaged i just left the official question up to him. He proposed on our one year anniverasry in the place where we had had our first date. There was thunder and rain and he just whispered in my ear will you marry me? It was the most amazing moment of my life because it was simple and loving. I know that you will proberly notice my age and call me a hormone crazy adolescent, but we don't plan on getting married for a few more years. We just plan on enjoying being with each other because we are so comfy. I think I will be with him for the reat of my life but you cannot tell the future.

 

Actually, in spite of your age (a whole 'nother topic... lol), I have to agree in that my boyfriend and I (who are in our 20s) decided a long time ago to get married. We've been "unofficially" engaged for awhile now, with it being understood that it would become official with a proposal. Because we're currently long-distance, it takes the spontanaeity out of it a bit but I know that he's going to be proposing the next time I see him, in July. I'm so excited that I don't even care that it's not going to be a total surprise (although the how and where is up for grabs).

[sphinx999]

Yes long distances do complicate things a bit, luckily there is onli a 3hr30 min train between us.

[rosierizzle]

It shouldn't matter how you are proposed to! The important thing is the love behind the proposal!

[enocar]

my bf (Back in the days when we actually got on) proposed to me inbetween two doors in a hallway was literally

bf : wanna get engaged?

me : sure ok

ring on finger then socialised with my family hehe so romantic, hopefully next person i get engaged too be a little better than that.

[pchellak]

I think we have the movies and the TV culture (especially chick flicks) to blame for such high expectations. If you are going to reject the proposal if it didn't meet your off-the-charts expectations, you were NOT in love in the first place. If you are in love, any proposal should seem romantic.

[Aksinia]

I think that the best proposal ever would go like this:

 

Boy: *honest and simple expression of his feelings*

Girl: *honest and simple expression of her feelings*

Boy: Will you marry me?

Girl: Yes... but will my parents approve?

Boy: Yes siree bob, I already got their blessing!

Girl: Yay! let's go and get some icecream!

 

The end.

[PAdreamer]

His proposal wasn't the big showy proposal he'd told me he was planning for so long! It was quiet and almost... scary! That is to say, the whole day leading up to it was a rough day for us- we were in an amusement park with large crowds and it had been frustrating just trying to get from place to place- and he was so worried about what I'd say in response. He asked me so quietly as we stood there in this huge crowd in the dark under the fireworks... And it was the sweetest, most sincere moment of my life! It wasn't what I'd expected, which made it totally refreshing and surprising!

[OceanEyes]

There have been a couple of times that I thought my boyfriend might propose. I felt nauseated both times. I don't know how I'll react if he actually does, but it seems like such a HUGE thing that I may not even know what to say. It's not that I don't want to in the future, but I think that marriage is a very big thing. Not to be taken lightly, that's for sure. I guess if you feel like getting up and running away, or passing out that you're not quite ready.

[RayKay]

I know my boyfriend has been thinking of ways to, as he said, "make me the happiest woman in the world".

 

I am excited that it may come in the next while (though of course I can never be SURE it is...just an educated guess that it will happen at some point).....of course I would say yes in a heartbeat!

 

The reason I know of this is some comments he has made...such as when we hear about some cool proposals, and he will say "Aw, I'll have to think of something else!" and also when we had a fight a few weeks ago, he was quite upset that he had upset me, and told me (paraphrased) "I don't want to say too much as I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I have been thinking of ways to make you the happiest woman in the world...because I know where I want to be in the future, and I believe you are the prodigal "One" for me, and I'll tell you more if you want" and so on...of course loving surprises I told him that was fine, he did not have to say anything else.....

 

To me it does not matter if it is simple and sweet, or funny and very "us", what matters is that we are both wanting it, both ready, and both together...he is amazing, and I want to in return make him the happiest man in the world!

[Mermaid]

My boyfriend has basically said that he's going to propose in July, when I see him next. (When you're long distance, as PA knows, you kind of get a feel for these things beforehand, or else you outright know. Kills the spontanaeity a bit, but who really cares in the end?)

 

I'm SO excited, and I can't wait to see how it happens. I'm not expecting (nor hoping for) some big, over-the-top event; I do know that he has a specific place in mind and I think I know where that is. (If I'm right, it'll be super-romantic.)

[Luciana]

Griffonholly, same boat here!

 

Look at relationhsip commitment and the thread that I started about how thoughtless was my proposal. He did not really ask "will you marry me", he just said "now we are officially engaged".

 

I also told him how I miss having had a nice proposal. He doesn't say a word.

And I also thought of giving the ring back.

Now our wedding is 3 months away.....time is slipping by.

All I can tell you is if the proposal was devoid of effort he efforts towards the wedding will also be slow motion.

[Luciana]

pchellak, I don't see any women here rejecting a proposal because it's a lazy one. What I see are women who had really lame ones who wished the guys put more effort into it.

 

If a woman does not want to marry a guy, it's not the kind of proposal she gets that determines that. I haven't heard many stories of women saying no unless the guy asked too soon in the relationship, or misread the signs that the woman was not in love with them.

 

See how the girl who got proposed in a halway wants to be proposed again? That relationship didn't last.

[PAdreamer]

Griffonholly, same boat here!

 

Look at relationhsip commitment and the thread that I started about how thoughtless was my proposal. He did not really ask "will you marry me", he just said "now we are officially engaged".

 

I also told him how I miss having had a nice proposal. He doesn't say a word.

And I also thought of giving the ring back.

Now our wedding is 3 months away.....time is slipping by.

All I can tell you is if the proposal was devoid of effort he efforts towards the wedding will also be slow motion.

 

See, that's just so difficult for me to understand- giving back the ring because he didn't ask you the way you wanted him to? It's possible that he doesn't say anything when you put down his proposal because he feels embarrassed and belittled. Perhaps, in his heart and mind, what he did was very sincere, and maybe he feels like you're putting him down or that you don't care how he felt about it.

 

I know that's a lot of maybes, and MAYBE I am totally off. But I guess my point is that the feelings and intentions of the MAN need to be considered here as well. Like I said, it's HIS relationship too. I think if things are so bad that you're disappointed with the proposal, have thought about returning the ring, and he doesn't seem to want to talk about it, there have to be larger issues at hand.

[pchellak]

Luciana,

I kindof see your point but i still think it does not have to be like in the movies to be perfect. It seems from the thread that our TV culture kindof defines what is a good proposal. I would consider such a proposal to be very lame and unoriginal. These very same people who rant about proposals are usually the same people who complain about their engagement rings (Materialistic?).