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He had affairs with 3 married women. Coincidence or hobby? Opinions needed.


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He is an adult man. Met his wife while she was married to another man. It did not workout. A few years after dated married cougar and then, he had another -10 years younger woman. That did last for almost two years when he told her he did have feelings for her but never specified what kind. It was over for him. He said she was too unpredictable and dangerous.

Do you think this all women are just coincidences???

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Sorry for being confusing. I am not proud to say it but I was the last one.

I don't think he sleeps around, it is not his style, there must be something else about having a married women.


Yes he does. He has had not one, not two, but three affairs. That by definition is sleeping around. Don't make excuses for him, he is a guy who can't keep it in his pants who has a thing for married women. It your basic fetish he is just unable to control himself.


If you haven't already drop this guy, get yourself tested, and then take sometime to try and figure out why you let yourself be used like this.

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Now I will sound crazy for making excuses for him. I don't know how long he is the way he is, but last couple of years he has been impotent. I am sure he was fine with his first one, not sure about second one but that's how it was with me. He said not pills help him. I guess I am looking for easy way to move on by realizing he was not perfect after all. Still hurts though.

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His impotence isn't surprising. At all. Pills can't overcome his psyche, and he damaged his by his own behavior.


Think about it. Once a person is willing to ditch a basic human assumption of loyalty, then what does he have left?


That kind of 'fun' never lasts, and once it's gone, an empty character is left to grope around for something to invest in. And it's never going to be someone who has accepted him for what he is--he can't even accept himself. His sexuality taking a nosedive is a symptom of this, and if you want to waste your time counting on him to figure that out and get the help to fix it, you'll never get any of that time in your life back again for a do-over.


Respect your Self.

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I don't think he really wants a relationship. As such, he goes after married women, as he knows there's no future (or "risk of commitment") there. I've seen people do this with LDRs, or pining after exes that are safely unavailable. It's easy to focus on the lack of morality involved, but I think that's secondary. People don't wake up and think "I'm gonna be evil today!" No, I think his primary (and probably subconscious) motivation is that he wants the illusion/chance of a relationship without actually having one, as that'd involve hard work, or intimacy, or something else he doesn't really want. As such, I don't think you really have a chance with him, not that you should want to be with him anyway.

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