wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Ok so i am a 25 year old .me and my baby father was in a complicated relationship but he is now in jail. After he went to jail he finds out a girl says she is pregnant for him...i heard from people that he use to use her and kinda mess with her.he have 5 little girls and i had his only son which is the baby out of his children. The whole time she was pregnant he always told me he did not believe the child was his..he want a dna test when he get out of jail.i was kinda believing that part but i was still pissed that there was that possibility.i kinda let it go but still act funny with him and throw it in his face every now and then.now the girl had the baby and it is a boy!!!! The baby middle name is also the name he wanted me to name our son.and that right there sent flags up because i know she aint think of that name herself.so hhe must be keeping in touch with her while he in jail.tellin me one thing and her another.i wrote him in rage.he received the letter and called me actually today. I asked him about the name and is that his baby..he said yes!!!! Im sooo hurt for a few reasons..1 is that now my baby isnt the baby anymore .2 i felt a little special since i was the only one out of all the baby mothers he have had his 1st and only son.and 2 im afraid that now im in competition with the other girl.i dont know what to do. I wanna just take my son away from him and his side of the family . I dont want my baby around this new baby..maybe im just highly pissed and being mean.but i am sooo sad and hurt. He lied to me!! He said it was not his child . He wanted a dna test..now he claiming the child.he always told me ill always be special because i gave him his first and only son.(tears) now i just dont feel special at all! (tears)) could somebody cheer me up? Help me see the bright side of this?? How to deal with this?? Im soooo sad!! Im actually crying now..im afraid he will be closer to that child then mine. Maybe im speaking crazy i dont kno...please reply thanks in advance Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Breath. This is your son's younger half-brother, lets not sever all ties between the two before they even talk to each other. How exactly were you special if you weren't the ONLY mother to one of his kids? Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 You are right im not his only baby mother but i was the only one who had his son. Thats wat i meant by it. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 But a son is not more important than a daughter. How many kids does he have? Was this new child concieved when he was with you? Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 He have 5 girls and my 1 boy. So 6 total,not counting the new baby.and he was house to house i never really knew where he was staying so this baby was concieved at the beginning of the year so yes i think we was together..but dont get me wrong i never knew he was dealing with another female Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Is this the kind of relationship you want? Link to comment
hers Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Why do you put yourself and your kids through this drama. Is this the kind of role model you want for your kids? Is this the thing you want to teach your kids is ok? Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 No i dont..and im a smart girl believe me, i do want better. But it seems like after i had our baby i became so attached to him .it kinda hard to explain..i been trying to just let him go because i do see and kno he is no good but i tell u its been really hard. And since he is in jail its a little easier to let him go but this little problem just always have me wondering..is he on the phone with her now? Is his family gonna give that baby the spotlot like they did mine? Will he be put to the side? But i kno he would never and i know for a fact his grandma on his daddy side will never..but the thought has really been there.i feel soo childish for thinking like this Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 No i dont want to teach my kids this. But that is his father what can i do about that?? I hate this but i rewally do not know what to do Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Just try focusing on the fact your son has a half brother and you don't want to severe that tie between them - even if they had different mothers. Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Do u think i should be sad or i should kinda let it be? Also do u think i should accept his calls and if i do should i be straight to the point?? Like only questions about his son nothing more?? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Do u think i should be sad or i should kinda let it be? Also do u think i should accept his calls and if i do should i be straight to the point?? Like only questions about his son nothing more?? Depends on the life YOU want. Do you really want to be with a man that has SIX kids - which I assume are almost all from different mothers? If you don't then let it be. I would only talk to him with anything that had to do with his son and find someone you deserve. Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Thank you soooooo much for your advice.i really really do appreciate it..i dont want that type of liofe and you are right all of them are for diffrent ladies.i will also only keep it about his son..thsnks so much Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I agree that you should not compete with these other ladies. Concentrate on the life you want for you and your son, whether that be going back to school to get a better job if you fear not getting child support, making sure you read to him everyday even if you think he is too young, and making sure he has a relationship with your family as well as his grandparents on the father's side of the family if they are willing. That's all you do for now. And also find out what your rights are - to make sure you have sole custody adn that you have a say in visitation if and when he gets out. Make sure you are open to the idea of your son having a relationship with his siblings if the other mothers allow and are positive about the idea. But in some ways it might be best, if there are 5 different mothers and not just 2, to let them seek eachother out later to save your child the drama if no one is willing. Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 U are right its jus really hard to accept all of this right now. So u dont think it should be competition? Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 U are right its jus really hard to accept all of this right now. So u dont think it should be competition? NO! Don't try to "win" this man over. The only man you should consider keeping happy is your son. Focus on the new relationship between you and your son and not all those others. Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 i really dont want him..he havin babies lik crazy.i.kinda look at it like "and thats probably not gonna be his last! Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I say forget the half-sibling and the other woman AND him. Too much drama. I think your kid will be much better off with just you and any future, stable boyfriend/husband that you have in the future who can actually be a father to your child, not getting himself into jail and knocking up other Take your child and raise him as your own and have your own, stable family away from all of this crap now. He can learn about his half-sibling in the future when he's older (perhaps adult age) and has already grown up in a good environment. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 i really dont want him..he havin babies lik crazy.i.kinda look at it like "and thats probably not gonna be his last! It sure won't! He's a player. He clearly doesn't care. I say cut him out of your life romantically but be sure to go after him for child support. He made it, he has to pay for it. That's the law. Forget the other women and the siblings. They aren't yours to worry about and the drama will just shorten your life. Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 U are awesome!!lol ..u and my mom would get alone perfect..everything u said she said! But thanks u guys for all ur help.i really woke up this morning almost feelin brAND NEW ABOUT THE SITUATION Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I say forget the half-sibling and the other woman AND him. Once he gets out of jail, I assume that he has a right to see the kid, as he's the father. Link to comment
hers Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Something tells me that will be the least of his concerns when he gets out... Link to comment
wannalove25 Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Wat will be the least of his concerns? Link to comment
hers Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 His kids. He doesn't strike me as a person to be filled with enthusiasm about his children. Seems more interested in what you do to make the kids than the kids themselves... Link to comment
Fudgie Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Once he gets out of jail, I assume that he has a right to see the kid, as he's the father. He has a right to but I doubt he'll exercise it. trust me on this. Deadbeat dads like this don't give a CRAP about their kids. He'll probably more concerned with getting back into theft/coke dealing rather than deal with all of the children he's fathered. I encourage OP to go after him for the financial support for the kid though. He made it, he can help pay for it. Link to comment
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