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Year on and still the same problem even with NC

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A year on since my ex left me, ive been in NC for 6-7 months now yet still have her pop into my head near every day as well she messages me every 1-2 weeks or trys to somehow get noticed. Such as this week she "liked" a video I posted of my band performing on facebook. Its nice in one sense that she likes the video but also annoying for me as you can imagine. All kinds of thoughts go through my head and emotions begin to stir, mostly anger but aswell misery which I dont need right now when I hate my job and plan to leave it. Then I start to question her actions which ino I shouldnt but cannot help at times.


Its all so tempting to just go to her house and scream in her face or go smash her boyfriends head in, but yet it wont do anything for myself and ive made enough mistakes when we first broke up of the whole pleading thing(shudder).

I find it all rather painful and just wish it would end soon before I just lose the plot so to speak, I cant see her coming back ever yet its like part me is still holding on. Fighting with myself, just cant bare it all anymore, sometimes I feel the urge to just break down and cry because of the amount of stress this all puts on me at times where I just cant not think about her.


Ive had all the messages I can take from her, even if they mostly are just "Hi" or my personal favourite "you ignoring me only makes me regret the time I spent with you and that I ever met you"

Funny coming from the girl that left me for another guy.


Thank you for taking the time to read this, I have posted many times over the last few months-year about my healing process. I can say NC has made everything easier and gave me the strength I needed but it so far hasnt been the final cure. Only time can do that I suppose? Past posts Ive made explain more about the situation in more depth as well as little situations I encountered to get to this point.



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my personal favourite "you ignoring me only makes me regret the time I spent with you and that I ever met you"

Funny coming from the girl that left me for another guy.

You have already lost the plot if you let someone who left you for another guy say that to you and stayed in contact with them. Hopefully you at least defended yourself and she gave you a sincere apology or CERTAINLY you would have cut contact with this person completely right? Don't drop your standards for who you let in your life. Some one trying to bait you with guilt into paying attention to them after THEY dumped you clearly have the mind of a child or are very abusive and I am sure that you deserve better than that!

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This is exactly the reason why people need the philosophy of 'when it over, it's over FOREVER!'


If you live by this ethos then you don't want the ex back! And there are so many damn good reasons why trying to repair a broken relationship just isn't worth anyone's time or energy!


When someone leaves you: Go along with it, calmly ask if it's something you can work out if you must and explain that when you're over with someone you are done with them forever - no exceptions. Politely and compassionately explain that you do not want to be friends and that neither of you should ever speak again becuase it's just more elegant that way. Then impliment No Contact. If the former partner reaches out, don't just ignore them, it's immature - instead, speak/ email/ text (i think writing is better) and say that you have politely made it clear that there is no chance of getting back together in the future and friendship is not an option either. Say something like ' show a bit of discipline, strength and dignity and don't reach out to me ever in your life again' appeal to their ego to get what you want and what you want is not them, no hope of getting back with them, total closure, and complete no contact so you can get over them as soon as possible.


Anyway, that's what you should have done, in my opinion - here's what I would do now, if I was you: For a start, defriend her from every social network online thing there is. Delete her from your life completely. Secondly, when she texts/ calls you whatever - speak to her and say you are done with her forever - you don't want to be friends and you do not want to get back together. Don't sound angry or emotional, just take control. You call the shots. In a nice way-ish, say it's a bit pathetic that she still texts and tries to reach out to you - say you moved on a long time ago and so should she. If she continues to bug you after that (she probably won't becuase she'll be too embarrassed) start getting harsh and tell her that you've been as mature and nice about it as possible but 'you're not important to me, i don't like you i don't dislike you, you're just nothing to me - seriously you need to get a life and stop bugging me!' ... all else fails, get her done for harassment... You want to kill the hope... done... want her to get lost so you stop thinking about her as much... done ... you want to reject her... done... you want to come accross as strong and prove to her and most importantly to yourself that you don't need her... done...


Hope it works out for you mate


Mr Man

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey sorry for late reply, the comment of "you ignoring me only makes me regret the time I spent with you and that I ever met you" I never responded to and oddly enough it didnt hurt to see it pop up. It made me feel good that she caused me pain and clearly my months of nc did effect her almost like tables had turned kinda thing, aswell I think with that no reaction would be stronger than any reaction as anything would show a sign it got to me.

Ino I really should delete her but like you guys said part of me doesnt want to, god knows why as I dont look at her page or talk to her anyway. Ive now blocked her so im free really of her pathetic attempts at getting my attention and since I posted this ive actually just been getting on with life nicely thinking less about her. I find this site to be a good release almost like a diary of thoughts and feelings.

Havnt heard from her since this post but its a nasty feeling to think a year has gone by so quickly.


Thank you for the advice so far

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