yellowjello Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 ABOUT ME: I am 23, graduated college living at home while applying for grad schools. I am currently unemployed just working on admissions. I feel that my parents are too controlling. Here is the situation: I admit I don't do much work around the house. I'm pretty absent minded and usually when they tell me to do a chore or errand I end up forgetting and they have to tell me a hundred times to get me to do it. They lecture me a lot about that and keep saying they want me to be a part of the house and take the initiative to help out on my own. but they are really controlling about me going out. Sometimes they don't give me permission to go anywhere because I haven't done enough at home (helping out around the house). But it's not always about that. They said "even if you do whatever chores you're supposed to do, that doesn't mean we will let you go wherever you want". They don't want me to go out late (past 10) unless its a special circumstance that I'd have to discuss with them. If I do want to go anywhere, I can't just tell them I'm going out and leave. I have to talk to them about it prior, and explain what I'm doing where I'm going who I'll be with, and get permission first. Sometimes when I want to go somewhere they say no it's not necessary just stay home. They act like I'm always out but I go out at most 3 times a week. When I go somewhere I have to tell them what time I expect to be home, and if I cross the time limit I am expected to call them to tell them it's getting late. Sometimes I go hang out with my friends, my parents think I'll be home around 7, but I don't come home until 10 and they get mad that I never called. I can't just say I don't know when I'll be home. They won't let me go unless I give them a time. I ask why I have to give them a time and they say "because otherwise you'll just go out all day for 6 hours and come home at night". They never let me go to the concerts I wanted to go to because they were worried that I'm going out to NYC (about an hour from my house) real late and I'm driving and all that and they aren't comfortable with it. All the times I wanted to go to a concert I basically had to just go anyway even though they said no. Also they're really strict about who I see because I have a boyfriend and they don't want me to get into a relationship right now. They want me to focus on my own life and getting into grad school and getting a job etc. So if I do go anywhere they want to know who I'm going with and make sure it's not him. They're always worried that I'll say I'm meeting someone else, and go meet him. They don't let me sleepover anywhere because they probably think I'll just sleepover at his house. I think that's a large factor (it's not only this, but it's a factor) in their protectiveness. I always have to lie to them. If I want to go hang out I have to make up a reason to get out of the house (like saying I have some errand to do) in order to guarantee I can go. If I just tell them I want to hang out, it's a gamble whether I'll be allowed or not. Also anytime I want to see my boyfriend I have to lie and say I'm going somewhere else or seeing someone else. Sometimes I get caught in my lies and that makes them crack down even harder and then they let me go out even less because of what I did. It's getting to the point where I can't take it anymore and I just want to move out. I don't want to have to take their permission whenever I want to go somewhere. I should be able to just go wherever I want. It's also getting really bad. It's like a cycle. They keep restricting me, which makes me frustrated and creates tension. I lie and stuff to be able to go where I need to go, and they find out and it makes our relationship worse. Also all the times I need to go somewhere and they say no, and I end up going anyway it is all making our relationship worse. It really is a cycle: they say they are really strict about me going because I lie a lot and they can't trust me, but I only lied a lot because they were strict in the first place (not as strict as now, but they wouldn't have let me go if I told them where I was going). Them being strict makes me lie, me lying makes them more strict! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.