RealCity19 Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 So my ex and the girl I still love left me for another guy about 9 months ago. We were best friends 6 years before we dated for 2 years and she left me for a guy who was trying to steal her from me from day one. She knew my dislike of this character and said he meant nothing when he sent her flowers. We talked about marriage towards the end and everything. Out of nowhere she broke up with me and 3 weeks later was dating him. I immediately went no contact. She said she wanted to remain friends but I was not willing to be her shoulder to cry on while she dated this guy. She contacted me about 2 months ago a ton of times in a row and I finally broke contact and told her to leave me alone in not so nice words which is very uncharacteristic of my personality. Hadn't heard from her in two months until my birthday yesterday. She contacted and acted like nothing ever happened(she has done that since the day we broke up). Though I was played badly and hurt I still love the girl to death. Should I say anything back or just leave it? And yes she is still with that guy. I know it sounds crazy and I am not holding out hope to get back together with her, we were just so close for so long and I miss my best friend, but I refuse to play second fiddle to this new guy who I have 0 respect for. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Come on, man. You already know the answer to this. Just leave it. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Please do not respond! This girl treated you like garbage, and you need to see her for who she is. She is reaching out for attention or to appease the ego. period! Even if she does break up with this guy, what makes you think she would not do this again. I would look at her character, as well. You deserve much better than this woman! Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Yeah man, stick it to her good. Don't respond. She's not contacting you for you - she's doing it for herself, either to ease her guilt, make her feel like she's a good person, whatever - but it's not about you. Let her suffer by just ignoring her. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Yeah man, stick it to her good. Don't respond. She's not contacting you for you - she's doing it for herself, either to ease her guilt, make her feel like she's a good person, whatever - but it's not about you. Let her suffer by just ignoring her. I don't think we should do things to make others suffer, as holding on to all that revenge keeps you from moving on- Indifference does not require energy. Just let this go, so that you may move on to someone who will appreciate you. Link to comment
22n32 Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Today is my bday.. my ex texted me sat tell me she loves and misses me.. but haven't heard anything from her today.. She prob doesn't even remember. Haha. Just let it go and move on Link to comment
lanaa Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 if you want her back give her a reply,something like "thanks i appreciate your wishes"...nothing more,,,its rude and unattractive to ignore birthday wishes. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 if you want her back give her a reply,something like "thanks i appreciate your wishes"...nothing more,,,its rude and unattractive to ignore birthday wishes. She dumped this guy for another??????? She totally disrespected him by breaking contact when he told her not to!!! Why are we obligated to respond to those who treat us poorly??? Link to comment
lanaa Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 i said IF he wants her back he will have to forgive and move on Link to comment
Eocsor Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 if you want her back give her a reply,something like "thanks i appreciate your wishes"...nothing more,,,its rude and unattractive to ignore birthday wishes. I'd dissagree with this. There is nothing wrong with no response considering the circumstances. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 I'd dissagree with this. There is nothing wrong with no response considering the circumstances. Agreed. Or, you could respond by asking why she's contacting you when you asked her not to. You could also tell her you don't believe her message that she loves you because if that were true, she wouldn't have left you. Link to comment
lanaa Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Agreed. Or, you could respond by asking why she's contacting you when you asked her not to. You could also tell her you don't believe her message that she loves you because if that were true, she wouldn't have left you. Yes he can reply that if he wants to sound like a 17 year old girl a birthday wish does not mean-i want to talk to you Link to comment
RealCity19 Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 It's just incredibly hard based on our past. I knew her better than anyone in this world and her vice versa. Since this happene, she lost every friend she ever had including two girls she grew up with that decided not to have her in their wedding anymore and me who she said was her best friend ever before she broke up with me. The fact that she openly talked about marriage and moving in together just weeks before it happened made it worse. She begged me to move in with her. She didn't realize she cared and now too much damage has been done to repair I think. Link to comment
camus154 Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 It's just incredibly hard based on our past. I knew her better than anyone in this world and her vice versa. Doesn't matter. Since this happene, she lost every friend she ever had including two girls she grew up with that decided not to have her in their wedding anymore and me who she said was her best friend ever before she broke up with me. Doesn't matter. The fact that she openly talked about marriage and moving in together just weeks before it happened made it worse. She begged me to move in with her. She didn't realize she cared and now too much damage has been done to repair I think. Doesn't matter. This was 9 months ago. That means you're 9 months into healing and moving on without her. The fact that your ex popped up to wish you a happy bday doesn't change any of that. Link to comment
calisurfer Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Don't reply. Your ex sounds a lot like mine. Very manipulative, and they know what buttons to push to affect us. Keep up the NC, a reply from you would open up a door for her. Don't do it. Link to comment
MarnDark Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 Wow, yeah. Your ex sounds like mine too. My bday is coming up also and I honestly don't know if I would say "thanks" or not. Link to comment
sonypirates Posted November 6, 2011 Share Posted November 6, 2011 She sounds very shady imo. You were with her for 2 years and the entire time he tried to steal her from you? If she was fully into your relationship she would tell him to leave her alone in that sense. She doesn't deserve a response to a birthday text. Link to comment
RealCity19 Posted November 9, 2011 Author Share Posted November 9, 2011 You are all right. She kept me informed on most of what he did and I told her he bothered me but she said she cherised his friendship. I am not a jealous person at all so I told her ok, but she still always knew what I thought about him. I think that fact alone that my best friend of 8 years was willing to throw it away like that does not deserve a response. Her choices, her actions, her consequences. Link to comment
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