Anyone wanna explain what this dudes up to?

[yarg682]

So I like this girl we've been working at building a relationship for awhile I was finally starting to see some results it's been difficult because of a past relationship of hers but she told me in early september she wants to be with me and wants me to meet her parents. Her best friend who's also her ex has been helping me every step of the way because he said he could tell I really care about her. A little back story she did tell me she still have feelings for him just before she told me she wanted me to meet her parents but she was getting over it the whole time she was just a little nervous to be honest with me. What wound up happening was her phone's been broken so she only contacts me through her computer and her sister was also in the hospital she's only contacted me twice this month since her sister got out and it's been almost 3 weeks. I ask her friend if he has any idea what's going on or ask for a little moral support cause this is getting kinda tough but he completely ignores me. Then I see on facebook a few days later that his aunt was in the hospital so I felt bad and apologized for it and even went as far to bake him a cake. He did not accept my apology like he completely ignored it I called him out on his avoidant behavior yesterday asking if he was trying to get with her behind my back (which is kind of ridiculous cause he's always said she's like a little sister to him and I've even told him before while on the verge of giving up that he should be with her) but he's just been weird he just said he hasn't heard from her either, I apologized for being so paranoid but again he just never accepted it. He still ignores any attempt I make to apologize and if I ask him if he thinks I should move on or just stick with it he ignores me too. I've even told him if I'm bothering him if he just tells me I'll leave him alone and that it's understandable. He just never makes it clear what's going on with him and it's really bugging me. Any thoughts?

P.S. Please don't be captain obvious and tell me to move on, there's another girl I'm pretty close to but I need some closure so until I know what's up with her it's a little difficult to move forward right now all I wanna do is get an idea of why her friends being so weird.

[yarg682]

Bump I still need some help

[Ariel85]

I think it's exceptionally peculiar that you are baking a cake for the ex of a girl you're trying to date, and making a bit of a fool of yourself trying to get his approval or support.

 

Why is that? I don't see this as being about her (who, FTR, I don't think is interested in dating you, since she's said she still has feelings for her ex), but it's creepy that you're spending more time trying to foster (I'm not sure what) with him.

 

I think if you were trying to get him to be an ally, that's been blown, since you've been totally inappropriate and OTT with him.

 

I vote walk away from both of them.

[Capricorn3]

I'm afraid I will be one of those who will give the "captain obvious" reply and say yes, it is time to let it go and move on from both of them. I can't help get the impression the guy is ignoring you because he's still interested in her and she admitted she's interested in him too. Why would you even want to get involved with these people when it seems they are BOTH avoiding you? Think about it.

[yarg682]

I think it's exceptionally peculiar that you are baking a cake for the ex of a girl you're trying to date, and making a bit of a fool of yourself trying to get his approval or support.

 

Why is that? I don't see this as being about her (who, FTR, I don't think is interested in dating you, since she's said she still has feelings for her ex), but it's creepy that you're spending more time trying to foster (I'm not sure what) with him.

 

 

 

I think if you were trying to get him to be an ally, that's been blown, since you've been totally inappropriate and OTT with him.

 

I vote walk away from both of them.

 

Well I just find it very irritating to be ignored but I mean I just legitimately felt bad I really hate when people won't accept a sincere apology from me so I just decided to do something nice for him. I'm not trying to foster anything with him I just got tired of him not being responsive at all especially when he was so eager to help before. Also she said 'I like you and still do but I still have feelings for blah blah blah' she distinctly mentions that she likes me also she just said a week before her phone broke that she really likes me and wants me to meet her parents I just don't see how she would change that stance so quickly especially without even telling me. This isn't the first time I've made a fool of myself to her friend but this is the first time he's had this reaction.

[Ariel85]

No one likes to be ignored, granted.

 

But, all you've done is set yourself up for even more abuse. I mean, he ignores you, so you keep making more overtures to win him over or gain some kind of validation, and all it does is push him away. Ultimately, you should never pursue someone who has such little regard for you as a person.

 

As for her, judge people by their actions, not their words. Talk is cheap, and she's been blowing smoke up your heinie for a long time. But, her actions show a girl who's simply not interested.

 

Your closure comes when you realize that you don't need someone else to give you closure. You find it, and make it, on your own. So, do that, and just move on from this. It will only suck more energy for zero gain.