Does she want to get back together?

[Rockyr87]

I gave it some thought and I decided I would share the aforementioned details. Basically what it came down to was that after we spent two nights together on the second night we both felt ready for sex, but we weren't. A week later I was venting my frustration about some other minor things to my sister and she went and messaged her on facebook. I got read the riot act the next morning and she said if my sister didn't apologize then that was it. She never did so she blocked me on facebook and until Tuesday I hadn't heard from her since then.

[Rockyr87]

I was talking to a friend of mine about her texting me like that earlier and she might have just been doing it to keep tabs or something. Would that mean she's not interested in anything else?

[sonypirates]

Is she in high school? Many of her actions are very immature. It was your sister that did w/e she did, not you, she shouldn't be taking that out on you.

 

Dude. We all said this but will say it again. You CANNOT know her intentions. You can analyze it for days but in the end you could be completely wrong, only she knows how she truly feels.

 

Did you guys ever have a talk after the incident or what either of you want? Was it simply a break up and you didn't express wanting her back and what happened that night?

 

This should have been doing previously if it hasn't. If she's confused about what happened that night that doesn't help anything.

[jeepman41]

When someone breaks up with you and then reinitiates contact they may have differing reasons. Hard to tell without them actually coming out and saying what is their motivational factor. Sometimes people we have been romatincally involved with want to know if they have some emotional sway over you. Their reasoning being they can get you back any time you want. Perhaps they really do miss you and want to catch up. Perhaps they are just wondering how you are doing and if you have found someone else.

 

A lot of times when relationships end, things are said and done in the heat of the moment that are caused by your emotional state. After a period of time has passed and the emotional fires have cooled, feelings can and do change. But like I said unless they tell you outright all you can do is second guess.

[Rockyr87]

Sony- I'm 24 and she's 22. A lot of the things she did were immature, but I think jeepman is right on the money about things happening in the heat of the moment (or maybe I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt). We were going to talk about it, but I think what happened was she just got too upset and decided out of nowhere that she didn't want to. Neither of us have brought anything up since she started talking to me again. Is it best to let her initiate a talk about that? I haven't heard from her since Wednesday so I'm starting to wonder if maybe it was a one time thing or not. I know I'll never know what she's trying to do, but I just can't help wondering. Also, her birthday is this coming Wednesday and I was thinking about calling her to say happy birthday, but I'm afraid it might be crossing a line I didn't know was there. Should I avoid doing this?

[Rockyr87]

I've had some interesting stuff happen recently. Tuesday (I swear this was at the exact same time she texted me last week) she added me on fb and I let it sit for the majority of the day before I accepted it. I texted her happy birthday with no reply, but we did have some interaction on fb. It was real light and friendly as far as I could tell. I can't really tell if she's seeing anyone, but my guess is no just cause she didn't have anything on fb about it. She keeps throwing curve balls at me and I'm not exactly sure what to do. Any thoughts?

[HeartGoesOn]

Yes, Instead of texting and posting on Facebook, pick up the telephone and have a mature conversation.

[Rockyr87]

Haha wow. I like how up-front you are about that. I'm not really sure what to say to her though, much less when the right time to call her would be.

[Ms Darcy]

"Hey [name]. How are you. (Small talk.) So, what's up with the contact all of a sudden? Are you wanting to give things another shot?"

[tobias13]

yeah my ex has been doing this to me over the past week ... initiated contact everyday with me and texts me up until she falls asleep at night ? its soo confusing but i continue to let her initiate all the contact everyday.. she also told someone she was confused and everything was getting to her ... sorry for jumping in here but i thought whilst on the subject i could maybe get some advice on my situation also ...

 

but in your situation i would certainly just let her initiate all the contact, play it cool as if it doesnt bother you ! because if you begin to chase her again she will be pushed away ! just keep it casual and if it isnt too painful be her friend.. because it has to start somewhere doesnt it ? if you let it bother you it will ruin your chances because all you will want to do is ask questions that she may not know the answers to, you survived this long and you will know it has only got easier ! keep going!

[Rockyr87]

She hasn't tried to contact me in like a week. I can never tell if it's cause she's busy with school or if texting me was a one time occurrence. Is waiting it out like this really a good idea? I only ask cause I've heard different things from different people.

[Tomuch2hope]

Sometimes chatting using FB or texting by phone is a way to hide behind the device. In another way, it allows you both to concider your answer before hitting the send button.

[Rockyr87]

Yeah I know what you mean. One thing I forgot to mention was that any time we gave each other space for whatever reason she would always come back. What I'm looking at right now is whether or not I should call her to talk to her and if I do what do I say? Or what do I leave as a voicemail. I just don't want to ruin my chances with her.

[Tomuch2hope]

I'd stick to the FB or text for now. She seems to be comfortable with it. Maybe suggest you might give her a ring sometime and see how it plays out.

[Rockyr87]

What would it mean if she didn't text back?

[Tomuch2hope]

What would it mean if she didn't text back?

 

She has either changed her mind about having contact with you

 

She is playing a little hard to get

 

She is just to busy

 

Time to play the waiting game. Not the waiting around game.

[Rockyr87]

I don't think she would have changed her mind about having contact with me if she added me on facebook. I know these things seems so simple on the outside, but given the way things happened before I just don't see it as being so simple. One of my biggest fears is saying the wrong thing.

[Tomuch2hope]

I don't think she would have changed her mind about having contact with me if she added me on facebook. I know these things seems so simple on the outside, but given the way things happened before I just don't see it as being so simple. One of my biggest fears is saying the wrong thing.

 

If thats the case, maybe she is playing a little hard to get, or just busy.

 

If you think that, then keep using FB / Text so you can chack what you 'say' before your actually 'say' it.

[camus154]

I'm going to give you some really blunt advice.

 

Quit being a doormat. Seriously. It's sad reading how much effort you're putting into trying to divine her every action, meaning, and word. Aren't you worth more than that? Do you really want to be "that guy" who is so easily strung along by any crumb that your ex drops for you?

 

Man up and move on. Don't you have more important things to be doing with your life than analyzing every gesture that comes out of your ex?

 

Look, you could sit here and ask for advice about any little contact that may or may not come from her. Or, you could carry on living your life as vicariously as you possibly can.

 

Which do you think is more attractive? (And I don't mean to your ex.)

[SRoller]

You're going to have to take a chance. Maybe ask her out for lunch or something. (and since you like texting and fb her because you feel more comftorbale that way then do that) or maybe a phone call. I did this and my ex accepted my request. But you gotta feel confident and knowing she will say yes. Instead of her throwing curve balls at you, you need to throw a curve ball at her and keep her guessing and a little interested.

[Ms Darcy]

You're going to have to take a chance. Maybe ask her out for lunch or something. (and since you like texting and fb her because you feel more comftorbale that way then do that) or maybe a phone call. I did this and my ex accepted my request. But you gotta feel confident and knowing she will say yes. Instead of her throwing curve balls at you, you need to throw a curve ball at her and keep her guessing and a little interested.

 

I agree. There was a guy who liked me who never really made a move. I got bored and moved on.

 

It's hard to "mess up" with someone who dumped you. Really, your best bet is to be a little more open.

[Rockyr87]

Yeah, I guess y'all are right. In the event I call her and it goes to voicemail, should I ask her to call me back or no?

[Rockyr87]

I called her earlier and left her a voicemail. Basically just asked how she was doing and that I'd like to talk to her soon. If she doesn't get back to me should it be assumed she isn't interested?

[jeepman41]

I'm going to give you some really blunt advice.

 

Quit being a doormat. Seriously. It's sad reading how much effort you're putting into trying to divine her every action, meaning, and word. Aren't you worth more than that? Do you really want to be "that guy" who is so easily strung along by any crumb that your ex drops for you?

 

Man up and move on. Don't you have more important things to be doing with your life than analyzing every gesture that comes out of your ex?

 

Look, you could sit here and ask for advice about any little contact that may or may not come from her. Or, you could carry on living your life as vicariously as you possibly can.

 

Which do you think is more attractive? (And I don't mean to your ex.)

 

 

 

I would tend to agree with this. It seems like everything she does is being analyzed and over analyzed. Would you really want to be with someone who pines and longs for another person in this manner? Is this healthy behavior? You really need to put yourself and your wants first. There are 3.62 billion women on the face of the earth. Chances are you will find another who might even be better for you.

[hausser]

There are 100's of threads about NC on here --- and every one thinks their situation is different. It isn't. How do you know if it will work? You don't. NC will heal you and you won't spend everyday wondering what is going on in her life and staring at the phone. You need to go back out in the world and start living your life again. Right now, who cares what she wants. She broke up with you. Are you going to stand there and wait for her to tell you what she wants?

 

mhowe is right. Read the nonchalance stuff dude, that's where I messed up when my ex contacted me.