Rockyr87 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 So two months ago my ex and I broke up. It was pretty tough for me and I'm not sure how she felt. She ended up blocking me on FB and I haven't talked to her in literally two months..until yesterday. I'm sitting in class and a text comes up from her. I got that feeling like something happened that had virtually a 0% chance of happening. We just talked about casual stuff like class and a little about sports. I'm trying to avoid opening any complicated cans of worms, but the curiosity is killing me. I'm really confused. I've wanted her to come back for a long time, but now that she kinda has I'm not sure what to do. I'm not even sure what she's after. She seemed pretty dead-set when she said she wasn't going to talk to me again. What does it all mean? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 What I can't understand at all is why would you ever want to be with someone who dumped you? That must make her feel like the king of the world to know she can dump you, forget you for 2 months, and then text you and have that turn your world upside down. Don't give her that power man - I'd ignore her and her text. She had her chance with you. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 While I appreciate the advice, that didn't really answer my question. Link to comment
raton44 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 well, she has some reason for contacting you..maybe she's missing you. Maybe she's just wanting to keep tabs on you to see if you're still hung up on her. We will never know. I would keep NIC for a bit, for sure. Let her initiate it and see where it goes. If she keeps contacting..post again and get more advice on what to do from there Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 What does NIC stand for? Link to comment
sonypirates Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 What I can't understand at all is why would you ever want to be with someone who dumped you? That must make her feel like the king of the world to know she can dump you, forget you for 2 months, and then text you and have that turn your world upside down. Don't give her that power man - I'd ignore her and her text. She had her chance with you. Never mind this person. Maybe they forgot they were on a 'getting back together' board. Anyway... I agree with Raton. You have no idea of her intentions right now and cause of this I would just let it play out. You're doing right in not bringing up anything serious, let her do that. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 Her and I haven't had much time to talk. She's busier with school than I am. The thing that makes things seem kinda iffy is that I never know if she's just busy with school or if she doesn't want to talk to me. I just feel so confused right now Link to comment
raton44 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 NIC is No Initiated Contact...had to look this up myself a few wks ago lol Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 Oh..I didn't think about that. I've texted her a couple times, but I guess I'll just lay off for the time being. I just don't want to give her the impression that I'm not interested or that I wouldn't want talk down the road. Link to comment
raton44 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 that's why you still respond...but in the beginning, let her initiate. You be friendly, but not overly friendly. Male attraction is achieved when the male is more nonchalant...it's different for women. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 If she doesn't text back for a long time, should I assume she's busy or that this was a one time thing? I feel like if I don't talk to her it makes it seem like I'm not interested in talking to her, but at the same time if I do it too much it makes me look desperate or something. I just don't want to mess this up. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 Then read about NC on here in different threads and realize that in order for her to miss you, you have to go away. Don't be at her beck and call ---she broke up with you. You can reply if you want, but if you don't reply ---- then she has to work harder at finding out what is going on with you. Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 I've been looking at a couple of other threads on here about that, but how will I know if that will work? I don't even know if she wants the same thing that I want. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 There are 100's of threads about NC on here --- and every one thinks their situation is different. It isn't. How do you know if it will work? You don't. NC will heal you and you won't spend everyday wondering what is going on in her life and staring at the phone. You need to go back out in the world and start living your life again. Right now, who cares what she wants. She broke up with you. Are you going to stand there and wait for her to tell you what she wants? Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 I wasn't trying to say my situation was different from anyone else's. I don't spend much time at all wondering what she's doing, it's more wondering why she's talking to me now after 2 months of nothing. It just doesn't make any sense to me Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 So even if she doesn't text me for a week or 2 I shouldn't talk to her? Link to comment
raton44 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 probaby not...but you can take a risk and initiate very occaisionally...others will tell you not to. It all kind of depends on the content of her txts after a while...if its nonsense the whole time then I might not initiate. how long u been broken up and what were her reasons again? seeing anyone? Link to comment
raton44 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 you really should read more contact threads...and theres one about nonchalance...just search stuff in the search box. You will find tons of advice...also look up some on male attraction Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 We broke up literally 2 months ago. She was the one who broke up with me..still not exactly sure as to why. The texts I'd sent her Tuesday were mostly about school. I'd talked to her about some other stuff, but I didn't go near digging up the past or anything like that. The conversations we have feel kinda cold. I feel like if I ask the same kinds of questions it would send the wrong message or something. Not knowing why she's talking to me again is just driving me nuts Link to comment
raton44 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 post a new thread about her contacting you and confusion..maybe some of the guys will answer you..I'm def no expert Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 28, 2011 Author Share Posted October 28, 2011 Why post another thread? Link to comment
raton44 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 bc none of the regular guys are posting on here. Maybe they've missed it somehow. You might get more advice that way. I'm still fresh out of a BU and I'm no expert on this stuff. lol Link to comment
sonypirates Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Like Raton was saying it's hard to give advice on a situation when people don't really know what's going on. You really don't know why you guys broke up? It just happened and nothing was said? Link to comment
Rockyr87 Posted October 28, 2011 Author Share Posted October 28, 2011 There were a couple of factors involved (one of which I'm not comfortable saying), but no matter how many times I go over everything in my head I can't figure it out. The thing was, she was really dead-set in how she wasn't going to talk to me again, or at least she seemed like it. I just don't feel comfortable discussing certain details publicly. Link to comment
sonypirates Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 We can't really give you anymore advice then. Best bet is to read threads here and try to get all the advice you need. Work on those issues while you guys are apart though. Link to comment
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