How to teach an "underdeveloped" teenage girl?

[Miss Firecracker]

Sigh. We couldn't decide on what to do. Even if we were to talk to them, we aren't sure what to say.

 

I think we're gonna stay out of this one ... It's the safe thing to do, until we can come up with a better (or any) plan.

 

For the time being, she has 1 more year in high school and then have 4 years at college. Theoretically, she could continue on like this for those 5 upcoming years. It's not like she'll be doing anything drastically different ...

 

When she is out of high school, they will figure out what to do next. Most likely they will consult with specialists at that point. I think she may not be going to university but that is ok. Not everyone does.

[Fudgie]

It's true. My sister will not be going to university. She has autism. She currently works some hours at a local bakery helping with boxes and sometimes talking to people and the like. I'm really proud of her. She has come a long way. I hope that someday, she can work at a pet supply center, stocking the shelves and interacting with people because she LOVES animals.

 

Only with therapy and meds and support has she been able to slowly get some more independence. I have no doubt that without it, she would not be able to shower herself today. But she can now, she just can't shave, and that's okay.

 

I can imagine a few families, had she been higher functioning but still dependent, labeling her as "slow" and not getting the help she needs so she can be a little more independent. She will never be "normal" in the sense of the word, but that's okay. She is very happy with where she is now and enjoys the independence that she can manage now.

 

Growing up, we had some people gently "ask" us about her. My parents and I never flipped. We just calmly explained that she had autism, she was born with it, blahblah, but that she was a really smart girl with a lot to offer the world. In fact, I actually appreciate it when people ask in a gentle way. It shows me that they have compassion and are willing to learn about a disorder that they may not know about. They are curious and want to understand my sister and why she does some of the things that she does. I'm happy to explain it to them.

 

I'm hoping her (the girl you mentioned) family knows that something is up and will help get her some help for a future that will work for her. That may be vocational training, therapy, whatnot.

[Seraphim]

I agree, a parent does realize their child's limitations. When people tell me things, I think they think it is going to be like a newsflash to me or something about my son. I am sure the parents know about their daughter and are dealing with it.

 

OP, I know you are concerned but I am betting her parents know and are dealing with it. Not every person is going to be independent in life and not every person is going to be able to be independent and that is ok too. If she is doing the best SHE can than that is great. You can not judge someone with a disability based on what "normal" people can accomplish, it is just not useful.

[katycloud]

If the parents are aware of this girl's delays, then yes, approaching them to discuss it will probably be a slap in the face to them and they will not want to hear it. Who would want advice about their own child coming from someone else, especially when the parents are already aware of the issues?

 

However, if the parents think her behavior is normal and are not seeking out the assistance and support that this girl needs, then that is possibly something that I wouldn't be able to help myself trying to help...