TK99 Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 but you explained your feelings and she still chose scott over you.....??? How did she choose Scott over me? She told me she wants to be with me. The reason she was with Scott is because he is the babies dad and they had to figure things out obviously since they are both part of this, not because she wants to be with him. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Also, 2 months into being pregnant isn't far in so it would be hard to notice. She was randomly throwing up and she more than likely missed her period so she was confused and went there to talk to him about it probably. Then she went back again the last time to go see a doctor and confirm that she is pregnant. Honey, you're being extremely foolish. A woman knows pretty quickly when she's pregnant. Trust me - it doesn't take us two months to figure it out. Though really, you have no idea how far along she is. And does it make sense that if she missed her period, she would run to Scott to discuss it? I mean, if you were her guy, like you think, and she wants nothing to do with him, like you think, why would she immediately go to him to talk about it? And she didn't need to see a doctor near Scott to confirm her pregnancy, either. It's like you're really so unaware of the reality of this girl and what's going on, I'm not sure anything is going to get through to you, unfortunately. You keep changing your story when people tell you that she's bad news, but it's not going to change the circumstances. Like the song used to say, "check yourself, before you wreck yourself". Link to comment
Kitten love Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 she doesn't want a life with Scott. She told me herself she wants to be with me but was worried I would take it all wrong and stop talking to her. Also this. Twice she travelled hours to live with him. How many times has she gone out of her way to meet up with you? And she never wanted to live with you? Sorry but if I REALLY wanted something I would go after it and not stop until I had it, I would not send a watery goodbye message to someone I truly wanted to be with. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 if she really wanted nothing to do with scott, then why would she keep going back there for days to visit him as "friends"?? sounds suspicious to me, like something was still going on. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 How did she choose Scott over me? She told me she wants to be with me. The reason she was with Scott is because he is the babies dad and they had to figure things out obviously since they are both part of this, not because she wants to be with him. Again - lol, you seem to be changing your story when you don't like what posters tell you. You said in your OP that she ended it with you, and is moving back to be with Scott. If she chose you, she'd be with you. Period, end of story, and there would be no thread on this. She wouldn't have said goodbye to you, and she wouldn't be moving back to be with him. Your innocence is both frustrating, but also super sad, because you're going to get royally wonked in this, kiddo. Link to comment
TK99 Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 It sounds like she lied to you. Everything she's said is just completely fishy and not adding up. You're completely unwilling to consider that that may even be a distinct possibility?? Add to that the way she was talking in that last message is her trying to let you down gently. And I agree.. most cluey sexually active girls would figure out they're pregnant after missing one period, which happens on average every 28 days, so maximum a month. Yeah I guess I am just unwilling to accept the fact that she may have lied to me. Its just really hard to let her go. She is such a great person and I loved every second we would hang out. And her and I both know that if she didn't get pregnant that we would be great together. Which for some reason makes me want to try still. As far as that last message she sent me. I am not sure what to think of that. I took it as a goodbye message to which is why I was crying so much. But the fact that she started talking to me again as soon as she woke up today again makes me think she actually cares about me. Otherwise she wouldn't have even texted me today. What do you think? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 A choice is a choice. She doesn't HAVE to go back to Scott or make things work with him. She is choosing to. She is choosing to break things off with you as well. Link to comment
Kitten love Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 What do you think? I think she's keeping you at arm's length but not committing to you because she finds your unwavering devotion and security comforting. She finds it reassuring to have you there. Especially as she may be facing single motherhood very soon. Link to comment
Princess123 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Why did she text you? She said it herself your a good person. Perhaps better than this Scott guy and you have a good job (correct?)... so go figure a stable environment to suck you in. Why would anyone want to choose to raise a baby alone? My guess? She may figure if Scott doesn't end up being a good dad your Mr. Nice Guy over here... that you will just fall right in and be there for her. If she claims Scott to be a bad person then her plan all along COULD OF, didn't say was, been to find someone to help raise the kid. I know she broke it off but you never know. The best thing you can do if you want to stick around her life is be a friend, nothing more. I don't believe that. She missed a period and was throwing up, yet didn't know she was pregnant? More like denial. Then her meeting you right after the fact of her having sex with this Scott guy? Hmm, interesting. You think she is a great person because your not seeing the entire picture. You are picking out the good parts and disposing of the not so good ones. I really hope she chooses adoption. Link to comment
superfox Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 You're an 18 yr old girl 'randomly throwing up'? Trust me, the first thing you think of is pregnancy, not food poisoning. She wants to model? With a kid? Is she over 5'8"? Are we talking catwalk or glamour? Both tough industries unless you put in extra work..sometimes. She's a dreamer. A young girl who's had a few bad life choices, it's not up to you to save her. You're not her boyfriend, you're her personal driver. Link to comment
d24 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 i don't think things with scott are as candid as she claims. if i were you, and maybe this is because i'm feeling a little more negative after everything I've been through - you need to remember that people are capable of lying. so i'm gunna throw this out there.... i don't believe that she went to scott's and this other guy's to get away from her bad house situation. i think she was going there for a bit of ahem.... could be wrong, just saying, that's what my gut says sounds like she's ended it with you, adn she wants to keep things with you as friends. tough break, but i think you've dodged a bullet to be honest. she has way too many issues, and you sound like a good guy... you'll find someone less complicated. My only suggestion is to try to lessen/cut contact. It won't do you any good. If she wants you, she'll come to you. Best wishes Link to comment
kaibutsu Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Save yourself a lot of heartache and move on. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I understand that this girl has a lot of issues. And maybe that's why I'm attracted to her. It sounds dumb but that's who I get along with. And like I said, I enjoy taking care of people. Aside from her issues she is such a great person, we have had many intelligent conversations about life and everything. She just ended up getting in the wrong situations and she wants to change that and I am willing to help her change and become a better person if she is going to let me do that. 1. You need to explore why you get along better with people that have issues. It's likely that you feel damaged yourself, and not worthy of someone who is emotionally healthy. This is a bad path to start on because you will continuously find yourself in the situation you're in right now, just with different girls, over and over again. 2. You should also ask yourself why you enjoy taking care of people. Trying to save people will not lead to a healthy relationship, either. 3. She did not just end up getting in the wrong situations. She made choices and decisions that led to those outcomes. You are making her into a victim. 4. Love someone for who they are, not who they might be with help from you. Don't go into any relationship trying to change someone. I understand your intentions are not malicious, but you are not a parent, and it will not be an equal partnership. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 You're an 18 yr old girl 'randomly throwing up'? Trust me, the first thing you think of is pregnancy, not food poisoning. She wants to model? With a kid? Is she over 5'8"? Are we talking catwalk or glamour? Both tough industries unless you put in extra work..sometimes. She's a dreamer. A young girl who's had a few bad life choices, it's not up to you to save her. You're not her boyfriend, you're her personal driver. All kinds of right in this post. Take heed. Link to comment
wiseoldwoman Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 This reply shot up even more red flags than your first post. The fact that she told you one of the girls she works with does "exactly what you said" and calls her names for it, claiming she'd never do that is exactly the type of thing a manipulator would say. The reason she gave you for going to stay with her baby's father is pure bull * * * * - it was an excuse for her to spend time with him without admitting it to you. If she's got money, she could simply have gone to a hotel for a couple of days. And if she has no friends closer than him to stay with if she didn't want to spring for a hotel, that would be a concern as well. The fact that you're aware it might be her issues that attract you - that make you feel comfortable - tells me you're insecure and think the only way someone will want you is if they can use you to take care of their needs. Sounds to me like you need to work on yourself a bit before you're going to be in a position to help others or to find someone who you'll be able to feel comfortable with even though they're not a mess. It's possible she is indeed a very nice person who has made some mistakes and would like to live a different life. But I don't see her taking any steps to make her life any different, do you? You can't fix her life for her - all you can do is make it a little more enjoyable for her as she goes down the path she's choosing right now. My advice would be to tell her that if she decides she wants to take a different direction with her life, she should get in touch with you and the two of you can see where it would go between you. But as long as she's going to be involved with the baby's father and continuing the lifestyle she's currently in, you need to move on. Then do that. Link to comment
hurtinhouston Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 you can't save every lost puppy. You'll go broke and lose your mind if you try. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 you can't save every lost puppy. You'll go broke and lose your mind if you try. I agree. And if you really do want to save "lost puppies/wounded birds" may I recommend you go to school and become a psychologist or psychiatrist? Or a social worker? Or really, any other profession that helps people. there are so many way to help people rather than getting involved in messed up relationships. Link to comment
Angler Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 I'm always amazed by people who post in threads without checking the date. Link to comment
Unreasonable Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 I'm always amazed by people who post in threads without checking the date. D'oh. I read all that for nothing. And I'm hungry for Denny's now. Grrrrrr. Link to comment
Angler Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 I did it too! It was a fun read at least! Link to comment
ExoticDance Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Oh honey, this honestly broke my heart for you! This young lady does seem to have alot of problems, now the biggest being her pregnancy. I can sympathise with the stripping as I too am a stripper and I'll be the first to say it isn't always big money as people think and so I don't agree with the comments of why would she be giving her car back, getting kicked out etc as there has been weeks and even months I've struggled for cash and I've been working just over a year in the club's. However this one does sound like a heartbreak waiting to happen, sometimes people come into our lives not necessarily to stay, but to teach us a lesson. We all know what it's like to fall hard for someone and feel like your world is crumbling around you, but in the end you have to focus on the fact that it can't rain forever. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. And although you may love and care for her, she will make her own path. You have two options, stick by her and hope your goddamn hardest it'll be okay but risk you'll get absolutely heartbroken in the process or you can do the strongest thing and walk away. I know it's easier said than done believe me, but we're all here to support you lovey. At the end of the day from experience you can take advice of a million people, but it's only you yourself that can decide your final move. Trust yourself, take a pen and paper, weigh up the positives and negatives and decide from there. Trust your gut lovey! xx Link to comment
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