greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 I've been dating this guy for three months now. Last week, things got physical and we finally became intimate. After that night, he has gotten distant and initiated texts way less now. I've only been with one other person and that was my ex of 5 years. I feel used. I thought that by waiting it out, I was going to see whether or not he was only after sex. However, after we had sex, the calls and texts are way less now. Btw, I'm only 22 and he's 30. He assured me that things were going somewhere and that he really liked me. But now I really feel like crap. I don't want to say that I got played because I do not like playing the victim but his actions speak way louder now that we had sex. Link to comment
iswim18 Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Sort of feel like I'm in the same situation Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 Oh well, what can you do? I am sad and this really sucks. I'm sorry you're in the same situation, iswim18 Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Were you in a relationship? How was the sex? Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 you should read the 'mars and venus books.' they say that after a guy gets closer, he might retreat, but he will come back, like a rubber band. so just let him, and eventually, the time between the 'retreats' will get shorter. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 How often did you see one another? And, how often did he call? Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 Were you in a relationship? How was the sex? Nope,we did not make it official but he had talked about how we would soon become one with the rate we were going. I guess we didn't really have sex because as soon as I felt him inside of me, I pushed him off because I knew I wasn't ready. It was only a few minutes for me to judge lol... Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 How often did you see one another? And, how often did he call? We would see each other once or twice a week and he would call every 2-3 times with texting and what not. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Nope,we did not make it official but he had talked about how we would soon become one with the rate we were going. I guess we didn't really have sex because as soon as I felt him inside of me, I pushed him off because I knew I wasn't ready. It was only a few minutes for me to judge lol... maybe because you pushed him off and told him you weren't ready, he's decided to take a step back? maybe he thinks you are not into him?? Link to comment
Lavender25 Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Nope,we did not make it official but he had talked about how we would soon become one with the rate we were going. I guess we didn't really have sex because as soon as I felt him inside of me, I pushed him off because I knew I wasn't ready. It was only a few minutes for me to judge lol... Did you talk to him about how you weren't ready afterward? This guy's ego might be bruised a bit. He could be thinking that you are repulsed by him. Having sex for the first time is a pretty intimate moment and both people are probably feeling insecure. If you just pushed him off without telling him why, I'm not surprised that he hasn't called. Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 maybe because you pushed him off and told him you weren't ready, he's decided to take a step back? maybe he thinks you are not into him?? Well either way this sucks because I like him and I told him I wasn't ready for anything physical but he kinda pressured me, so I had to push him off. This sucks because the last time I was initimate with anyone was with my ex and that was a year ago. It has been a week and he hasn't tried to initiate any real contact. I'll just leave him be for him to make up his mind. In the meantime, I'll take this as a rejection and move on. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 maybe because you pushed him off and told him you weren't ready, he's decided to take a step back? Yeah, that's a big rejection. I can see why he backed off. Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 Did you talk to him about how you weren't ready afterward? This guy's ego might be bruised a bit. He could be thinking that you are repulsed by him. Having sex for the first time is a pretty intimate moment and both people are probably feeling insecure. If you just pushed him off without telling him why, I'm not surprised that he hasn't called. I explained him why I had pushed him off or wanting to stop. He just smiled at me and told me that he understood and that he still really likes me. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Well either way this sucks because I like him and I told him I wasn't ready for anything physical but he kinda pressured me, so I had to push him off. This sucks because the last time I was initimate with anyone was with my ex and that was a year ago. It has been a week and he hasn't tried to initiate any real contact. I'll just leave him be for him to make up his mind. In the meantime, I'll take this as a rejection and move on. What do you mean he pressured you? He forced you? Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 What do you mean he pressured you? He forced you? I kinda felt like he forced himself on me for a bit. We were fooling around before and he knew I wasn't ready for sex. He told me that it was his fingers but when I looked down, I felt something else, so I pushed him off and told him I wasn't ready. This made me upset a little bit because he was lying to me about being inside of me. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Instead of feeling upset that he's texting you less, you should be upset with what he did and move on. Link to comment
Point5 Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Nope,we did not make it official but he had talked about how we would soon become one with the rate we were going. I guess we didn't really have sex because as soon as I felt him inside of me, I pushed him off because I knew I wasn't ready. It was only a few minutes for me to judge lol... Yeah, I probably would back off if I was having sex with a guy and he pushed me off. Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 Instead of feeling upset that he's texting you less, you should be upset with what he did and move on. you're right, ms. darcy! I am upset over this. Why should i even care if he is texting me less.... Link to comment
Brightest Dark Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Maybe he is feeling awkward about what happened, so just isn't texting so much. Maybe he wants you to go after him to reassure him a bit. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 I kinda felt like he forced himself on me for a bit. We were fooling around before and he knew I wasn't ready for sex. He told me that it was his fingers but when I looked down, I felt something else, so I pushed him off and told him I wasn't ready. This made me upset a little bit because he was lying to me about being inside of me. OMG! You should be a little more than upset. That's really sleazy!!!! You sound like you need a relationship to have sex. Next time, why not wait till it has been established and you're seeing one another more than once or twice a week. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 you're right, ms. darcy! I am upset over this. Why should i even care if he is texting me less.... It's a good thing so you don't hang out again and have something happen again or worse. Link to comment
tmtex Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Greenstar, hate to say it but he played you. He was a hunter and looking for his prey, a notch on his belt, 30 yrs and tags a 22 yr old, funny thing is a 22 yr old male would love to have a 30+ yr old female. Just move on as he is a POS. Why do I know this....I am a player also however I am 42. I do the same crap as he does. Just stay away from him. WAIT, i didnt read page 2. No I would never make anyone do that, maybe a little BS talking but my fingers or thing isnt touching anything unless you want me to. In other word if I was going for it and she said stop, it stops!!! Just let him go. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Greenstar, hate to say it but he played you. He was a hunter and looking for his prey, a notch on his belt, 30 yrs and tags a 22 yr old, funny thing is a 22 yr old male would love to have a 30+ yr old female. Just move on as he is a POS. Why do I know this....I am a player also however I am 42. I do the same crap as he does. Just stay away from him. WAIT, i didnt read page 2. No I would never make anyone do that, maybe a little BS talking but my fingers or thing isnt touching anything unless you want me to. In other word if I was going for it and she said stop, it stops!!! Just let him go. You use women in the same way? Very sad and pathetic! Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 Greenstar, hate to say it but he played you. He was a hunter and looking for his prey, a notch on his belt, 30 yrs and tags a 22 yr old, funny thing is a 22 yr old male would love to have a 30+ yr old female. Just move on as he is a POS. Why do I know this....I am a player also however I am 42. I do the same crap as he does. Just stay away from him. WAIT, i didnt read page 2. No I would never make anyone do that, maybe a little BS talking but my fingers or thing isnt touching anything unless you want me to. In other word if I was going for it and she said stop, it stops!!! Just let him go. so I got played huh?? wow, this really sucks I feel so stupid now. Link to comment
greenstar Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 oh well, it doesn't matter anymore! Can't cry over it! sooo a lesson learned!! Link to comment
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