How to heal yourself with love and gratitude in your heart

[dabbledave]

... take the ups with the downs, its natural ...

 

Yes exactly, 1gg!

 

Ups and downs are natural. The trick is to pay little or no attention to the downs. Focus only on the ups. Celebrate the ups. Love the ups. Give thanks for the ups. And expect more ups!

 

And it doesn't matter what the sources of the ups are.

 

If you can fill yourself up with happiness and love from sources other than your ex, then you are at the point where you know that you don't need your ex (or anyone else) to make you feel happy and special.

 

Therefore any healthy future relationship with the ex, of any kind, even if it is a simple friendship, then becomes a bonus rather than the "necessity" that we sometimes perceive it to be when we are broken-hearted.

 

Cheers,

 

DD

[quartz]

Great thread dabbledave.

Thanks

[okiedokiestomp]

when you begin to live your life with an "attitude of gratitude" it changes everything. Being grateful for the big and the small makes you look at life differently and giving thanks lightens your heart. One of the best quotes I read said something like "one of the keys to a life of happiness is learning to want what you already have, not wanting what lack" Learning to find the blessings in the even not-so-great situations changes your outlook....personal perception is a powerful tool in healing...positivity breeds positivity, negativity breeds negativity. choose gratitude and you will find life is more enjoyable and even the hard times are more acceptable.

[1guygirl]

thanks DD for your response, means alot to me, x

 

struggling abit this morning....but ive ordered some things to invest in me, to make me feel good about myself because im feeling a lack of self worth and value right now. i think i might pop on an exercise DVD, ive already lost some weight, im slimmer than i was when i was with him. its weird i seemed to have a hard time loosing it when with him because he would make the odd comment about being hot if i exercised or that i had a nice shape- i jus needed sculpting (yeah them lovely backhanded compliments) but i was also on hormonal BC that made me put on a stone. well im off that now and its out my system so just some exercise to get toned is all i need now...i know i will feel so much better bout myself. its a self loving thing to do, and i will thank universe for having a healthy body that is able to exercise, and tell my body that it is beautiful and marvelous and that i love it

 

yeah them proverbial 10lbs will make such a diff heheh

[dabbledave]

Today's a bit of a test for me; a good test for my new positive attitude.

 

I guess the day started a little bit off by waking in the midst of a weird dream involving my ex. And since then little nagging thoughts and feelings of self-pity have chased me around. But no problem, because every time a neg tries to bite me on the butt, and as often as I need to during the day, I simply employ my "attitude of gratitude" (thanks for that phrase, okiedokie!).

 

However, today I have needed to mix up my techniques a bit more than usual. So while my "thank you, thank you, thank you" intervention and others* haven't delivered as effectively today as they have over the past three weeks, I've developed, nay rediscovered, a new one, which is working like a charm.

 

I'm sure you all are familiar with the James Brown song "I Got You (I Feel Good)"; you know the one ...

 

I feeeeel good (na-na na-na na-na na) As good as I should (na-na na-na na-na na) etc ... So good! So good! I got you!

 

(Of course the "you" becomes ME as I sing it out loud in private or sing it to myself in my head.)

 

I used to sing this years ago before meeting my ex. And it always made me feel good!

 

So I have found and dusted off an old weapon against negativity! How cool is that!?

 

Now the others* can take a bit of a rest

 

Cheers,

 

DD

 

* It's good to develop a range of weapons to use against negative thoughts and feelings. In addition to my "thank you, thank you, thank you" intervention, I have the "I love, I love, I love" intervention mentioned in the opening post. I also have affirmations jotted down in the notes app on my phone, some of which I've memorized, some of which I pull up and read. One of these is:

 

 

ME

 

The universe serves ME so long as I have love and gratitude in my heart and project love and gratitude for the people and things around me.

 

 

P.S. I want to add that whenever I return to this thread I feel good about my contributions here. I've learned so much from the contributors to the ENA forum. It's great to pay it forward! Giving and sharing is a great way to feel good about yourself!

[dabbledave]

Hi all,

 

Today was good day; another travel day in this foreign land; and a day in which I determined my next moves.

 

For those not aware of my story, here's a summary. (Skip this paragraph if you already know.) Two months ago I resigned from my job, gave up my awesome apartment, and packed and shipped all my possessions so that I could join my fiance in her job transfer to another continent. One month later; before the shipping container even arrived; she decided she didn't want to be in the relationship any more; that she had fallen out of love for me months before.

 

Since that devastating news, I've been backpacking through this continent. Two weeks into my travels I fell into a serious depression. One day, as I cried behind my sunglasses, a light came on in my head. I realised something powerful; that I had to let my ex go with love and forgiveness in my heart. Almost immediately I felt the pain and anxiety start to recede. Since then, for the past three/four weeks or so, I have made awesome strides in my healing using very simple techniques as described in the opening post and throughout this thread.

 

After a few days considering my unlimited options (I effectively need to make a fresh start in my life), today I decided what I will do next. After another month or so of backpacking, I will return to the country in which my my ex and I lived (her country; I was an expatriate there). I will work together with a friend of mine to resurrect a business venture we started but never managed to get off the ground due to job commitments. During the four-hour bus trip today I sketched out a rough business plan on the notes app of my phone. I am about to flesh it out a bit and email my friend to gauge his thoughts.

 

So less than a month after perusing a suicide-glorification website in the dark corner of a * * * * ty backpackers hostel, I now have a plan (albeit a sketchy one), a few new goals, and fresh excitement about what the future will bring. I am so thankful I was inspired to PROACTIVELY pull myself out of the emotional mud I found myself in. If I had wallowed in my anxiety and self-pity any longer, I'm not sure I would have made it through. I intend to take this new outlook on life with me well into the future.

 

Dig deep, my friends, to release the hero/heroine of your life story! The victim you feel you are right now is but a mask!

 

Cheers,

 

DD

[dabbledave]

A couple of days ago I had weird and quite negative dream featuring my ex. The day after was a test of my new-found positive mental attitude, which, by mixing up and adapting various techniques described in this thread, I passed with flying colours. Yesterday, as posted above, I started to jot down my exciting plans for the immediate future.

 

Well, guess what? Last night I had a very cool dream. In my dream, my ex and I (as friends) visited some kind of fun fair or fete. There I met and got chatty and flirty with a very sexy, smart, beautiful girl, which quickly developed into holding hands and acting like a new couple in love. (There were a couple of erotic little interludes in the dream as well, which I won't get in to!) The last thing I remember about the dream is the three of us walking along, me hand-in-hand with my new girlfriend. I look accross to my ex and she has a broad smile on her face as if she's genuinely happy for me; not an ounce of jealously or resentment; just pure delight in my new-found happiness.

 

Great dream, huh? I feel really good about it. And I think it says a lot about how much I have healed in such a short period of time. And I think it says a lot about letting go with love and forgiveness in your heart instead of resentment and bitterness.

 

I really feel that in four short weeks the "hero" in me has wrested control of my life away from the "victim" I became; the victim who developed passive-aggressive behaviours towards the end of the relationship based on insecurities about her commitment, who blindly followed her to a new country, and who raged against and then fell into a deep depression in the aftermath of the break-up. This new "hero" is far stronger, more confident, and certainly much more positive than the hero who met my ex-fiance four years ago.

 

I credit this rapid healing and moving on to:

 

1. Recognising the factors that contributed to the break-up and accepting that I cannot undo them,
   
2. Letting her go with love and forgiveness in my heart, and
   
3. Proactively reminding myself, whenever and as often as I need to, of the great things about me, my life, and my future ... and being thankful for them!
   

 

Be positive, my friends!

 

Cheers,

 

DD

[dabbledave]

Tough day today. Toughest for some time.

 

I took an organized day tour for the first time this trip, which meant I didn't have to think for myself where to go, what to do and see, and how to get there, etc.

 

So in the car between sites I inevitably reflected on my situation and how much I have healed and moved on since one month ago when I was in probably the deepest hole of my life. And I let my mind wander to moments and conversations and incidents during the relationship, which tend to take on greater significance in hindsight than they did at the time. And I beat myself up a few times for things I perhaps shouldn't (or should) have said or done. And I internally raged at her a few times for things she said and did that hurt me. To be honest I struggled from being consumed by negativity at times ...

 

But I consciously fought against it, using the various techniques I've developed to snipe at feelings of self-doubt and self-pity and regret as they emerged, sometimes in intimidating clusters. I am happy to report that I was able to fend off the worst of it and all in all I had a pretty good day! I am certainly going to go to bed with a smile on my face!

 

I'm excited to be heading home soon to start the next chapter of my life.

 

 

 

DD

[dabbledave]

There is a lot of esoteric stuff about “source energy” and “the Universe” in the audio book of ‘The Secret’. (I haven’t seen the film nor read the book.) While the esoteric stuff requires a leap of faith of religious proportions, it presents itself as a universal truth accessible by anyone, drawing on the teachings of global religions, self-help gurus, and the words of eminent literary, scientific, political, and business figures--including atheists--through the ages.

 

As I clawed my way out of the serious depression in which I found myself a month ago I found hope and strength in the enlightened observations about the human condition and the power of the mind. Indeed, to both reinforce and celebrate my hard-fought victory over negativity two days ago (see previous post), I fell asleep that night listening to the final sections of the audio book.

 

Particularly useful to me during my unfinished journey of emotional self-recovery have been two key words, which are used throughout ‘The Secret’: Awareness and Gratitude.

 

Gratitude, which I have covered already in this thread, is about being thankful for the good things in your life right now as well as the good things you believe will happen in your life in the future.

 

Awareness I have alluded to but not really explained fully. Awareness is about monitoring your thoughts and feelings; literally stopping and asking yourself: “What am I thinking about now?” and “How does it make me feel?” It is only by consciously and deliberately being aware of how you are feeling and why that you can challenge those thoughts that make you feel bad and reinforce those that make you feel good.

 

For example, two days ago one of the many thoughts that made me feel bad was a nagging shoulda (should have; close relation to coulda and woulda) thought i.e. “I shoulda let her go to work in the new country by herself to determine whether we could work long-distance and give me more time to figure out exactly if and how I would fit in terms of employment, lifestyle, etc.”

 

How did that thought make me feel? Regretful and angry.

 

By being aware of that thought and the negative feelings it caused, I was able to challenge it with alternative and more positive perspectives. For example, moving with my ex to the new country in support of her dream demonstrated my capacity to love and support and commit to another person. That she was ungrateful for that is something I could not, nor cannot, change. Second, there was no guarantee the relationship would have worked out had I stayed behind because she had already checked out to a certain extent; again something I could not, nor cannot, change. Third, if I hadn’t moved with her I would never have had the opportunity to go on this backpacking trip and embark on this even more interesting journey of self-recovery and self-discovery!

 

As I challenged the shoulda thought with these arguments and others, my feelings about it changed: From regret and anger ... to acceptance and gratitude

 

I went through this process many times that day. It was tough, so at times there was a waiting list of negative thoughts to turn around. But turn them around I did.

 

Based on my own recent experiences and the anecdotes of others, I firmly believe you can proactively talk yourself out of feeling bad. Whether you give yourself a pep talk, or your friend, family member, therapist, psychiatrist, religious leader, ENA friend, or anyone else gives you a pep talk, ultimately YOU have to internalise it and believe it.

 

Only YOU can make YOURSELF happy. So work at it. Please, for your own sake, be proactive in your healing!

 

Stay cool, my friends!

 

DD

[1guygirl]

i love to hear you getting there and beyond dd...

 

i think some peeps get put off by religious aspects of 'the universe' but religion has nothing to do with it imho...even jesus wasnt a religion, he never wanted to be, he just knew about the universe, our own power and tried to awaken us to our potential, with and in love.

 

we are simply beings tapped into this source, all of us, and ultimately we are equals in the grand design.

 

anyways...i have been having dreams about my ex, hes been giving me engagement rings, and wanting me back in my dreams...subconcious wishes or my ex connecting to me on another level?? who knows...i can only take what is the reality...he has not contacted me so i must keep moving on, albeit tough and painful. i tell myself if he really wanted to get intouch he could, and even if hes scared to out of fear for rejection...then i remind myself that i dont want a man who is scared or doesnt love me enough to contact me. its hard but its ok, hes not a bad guy i jus have to respect and accept that with love.

 

i got new job but turns out im no better off working than being unemployed....but...im telling myself at least with this job i can do something of value for my fellow community members, helping them, and maybe down line it will help me back into nursing where i would be better off financially, and i can then pursue hobbies and passions of mine that make my soul sing....even if its down the years. but with the shift this earth is going through, our realities could be so much more different, and these trying times are our lessons we need to learn from so we can grow to fully embrace what is being touted as wonderous times ahead for us all.

 

i admit tho, it would just have been nice to go through this with my ex who was on same page as me. but hey...

[dabbledave]

Hi 1gg,

 

Nice to hear from you!

 

i think some peeps get put off by religious aspects of 'the universe' but religion has nothing to do with it imho...even jesus wasnt a religion, he never wanted to be, he just knew about the universe, our own power and tried to awaken us to our potential, with and in love.

 

Agreed. Certainly for me, the esoteric stuff espoused in The Secret is neither here nor there, but the assertion that only you can make yourself happy by being careful about what you think about and being aware of how you feel at any given moment has resonated with me -- and has worked wonderfully well. There's a lot of tried and tested universal wisdom in it.

 

I used to think I had cyclothymia--simplistically, a mild form of bipolar--and would sometimes self-medicate with anti-anxiety meds (available over the counter where I live). But now I realise that I really don't have cyclothymia; that I have much more control over my emotions than I ever realised. Indeed, one of the things I did as I began pulling myself out of the hole was to throw away the meds. I've got to this point without those meds

 

then i remind myself that i dont want a man who is scared or doesnt love me enough to contact me. its hard but its ok, hes not a bad guy i jus have to respect and accept that with love.

 

When I left my ex's apartment and started travelling, I did so in a fit of anger. She said: "We can still be friends, right?" I responded with something like: "I'm too ****ed off to ever be friends with you." And I stormed out the door.

 

Since falling into depression and beginning my climb back out, I have reached out to her to be the friend she wanted. I've apologised for being angry, for defriending her on Facebook, etc. She hasn't responded much and when she has we've chatted for a while, but she's made it clear that the relationship is irreparable, and refuses to accept my friend request on FB. The finality of the romantic relationship is something I've already accepted.

 

I think she's hurting more than I am at this point. Whereas I've acknowledged and apologised and forgiven myself for my contributions to the end of the relationship and forgiven her for her part in it, I believe she is still full of anger and resentment and refuses to acknowledge her part in it. That's okay. I hope one day she "sees the light", because I still love her for the fantastic times we shared and for giving me the best romantic relationship I've had to date.

 

i got new job but turns out im no better off working than being unemployed....but...im telling myself at least with this job i can do something of value for my fellow community members, helping them, and maybe down line it will help me back into nursing where i would be better off financially, and i can then pursue hobbies and passions of mine that make my soul sing....

 

Of course you're better off with a job than you would be unemployed. Even if it's only a temporary job while you find something more fulfilling. It's great that you are seeking out the positives in it. Keep doing that and be grateful for them!

 

Cheers,

 

DD

[Coconut Twin]

Good Post!

 

Here is another book to add to the list, it has helped me heal immensely!

 

Thich Nhat Hanh 'anger - Buddhist wisdom for cooling the flames, truly amazing book. It deals with ALL emotions not just anger.

 

I've read 'The Power' was ok, it wasn't a fresh and unique self help book, a little on the tacky side but that's my opinion- affirmations got a little tiresome and I felt it lacked sincerity unlike the Thich Hanh book which really delves deep, covering mindfulness and meditation, and how it can help us to be quick to forgive, forget, be grateful and be at peace with oneself and those around you. Also to EXCEPT the things that happen in our lives that cannot be changed and that people are prone to change.

 

If we can accept these facts, we will be better and happier people for it.

[dabbledave]

Good Post! Here is another book to add to the list, it has helped me heal immensely! Thich Nhat Hanh 'anger - Buddhist wisdom for cooling the flames, truly amazing book. It deals with ALL emotions not just anger.

 

Thanks. I'll check it out. I have a renewed respect for Buddhist philosophy.

 

I've read 'The Power' was ok, it wasn't a fresh and unique self help book, a little on the tacky side but that's my opinion- affirmations got a little tiresome and I felt it lacked sincerity

 

Agreed. Definitely a money-spinning sequel, The Power, but still a helpful reminder. No affirmations work unless you believe they will work. Deep down you have to really make a commitment to feel better about yourself.

 

As I mentioned earlier in the thread many of these self-help texts are "positive mental attitude" repackaged. I've never delved into self-help before. The Secret was the first. I was impressed by the variety of sources it drew upon. And despite many of these sources allegedly (by some sceptics) taken out of context, for me the core message is to be aware of your feelings, to challenge the thoughts/assumptions that create them, and to be grateful for the good stuff. And, gee, I'm thankful for taking that core message on board and applying it. I feel so much better about my situation because of that.

 

Also to EXCEPT the things that happen in our lives that cannot be changed and that people are prone to change. If we can accept these facts, we will be better and happier people for it.

 

ACCEPT is the operable word there, of course! Thanks for your post!

 

DD

[Coconut Twin]

Oops..typo..I meant 'accept'

[Benville]

Try Reconciliation by the same author before Anger in my humble opinion.

[mhowe]

DD --- you are doing fantastic! There should be loud applause from this audience.

 

You have made the transition, as you say, from victim to hero in the movie of your life. Acceptance and forgiveness have replaced anger and resentment. It's a much cooler planet to live on now, eh?

 

Keep doing what you're doing!!!

[dabbledave]

Thanks mhowe!

 

I used to dismiss the self-help industry as a cynical money-spinning machine preying on the weak, even while I smoked my 20 cigarettes a day and popped a Xanax whenever I felt a bit anxious. Well it was in a moment of severe weakness after my break-up, when the drugs didn't work and I questioned the value of my own existence, that I downloaded some products of the self-help industry to give me some guidance. And guide me they did.

 

They inspired me to be aware of my feelings and develop ways and means to challenge thought processes that made me feel bad. They inspired me to identify the good things in my life, appreciate them, and give thanks for them. They inspired me to forgive past grievances and let go with love and gratitude.

 

The four self-help audio-book titles I've listened to (there are many, many more, of course) have collectively tied together the common themes of world religions, the wise words of great people, and personal stories of today's everyperson. They are all about taking personal responsibility for what goes on in your own head! And from what I can tell, that's self-help in nutshell. It doesn't matter who writes it, nor how much religion or spirituality or psychobabble it contains, it boils down to taking responsibility for and harnessing the power of your own mind by developing a positive mental attitude.

 

I've made a start on this. Only a month after staring at rock bottom, I'm now looking forward to the rest of my life with a level of self-confidence I've never enjoyed before. It really is easier than you think. It really is more powerful than you can imagine. A positive mental attitude really can be something you can believe in if you work with it and adapt it to YOUR life.

 

Cheers,

 

DD

[okiedokiestomp]

DD---gratitude as a way of life changes your outlook on everything else, doesn't it? I chose to live with an attitude of gratitude and it made all the difference in my life. congradulations--it sure makes life easier and more fun!

[italiannmf24]

Great post. Glad to hear you're doing well!

[Charingx1]

OP - Do you think this can work if you work with your ex, ie see them all the time? How would you feel if you found out she was with another person i.e. do you think you can be friends with her whilst she is in a relationship?

 

Im thinking of taking your advice, i plan on writing on a piece of paper all i am thankful for and love and pulling it out when i start thinking bad thoughts. What sort of things do you think of?

[dabbledave]

OP - Do you think this can work if you work with your ex, ie see them all the time? How would you feel if you found out she was with another person i.e. do you think you can be friends with her whilst she is in a relationship?

 

YES! If you believe you can. It's the best and healthiest way forward. Imagine seeing her every day at work and you're the one with a smile on your face because you've moved on with love and gratitude. If she's cold and distant, forgive her for that because she obviously isn't in the same healthy emotional state that you are in.

 

When I broke up with my ex, I knew I couldn't do the NC thing. It turns out I didn't have to. Now I can be myself when I communicate with her because I've forgiven her and I don't have any expectations about getting back together with her in a romantic relationship. If I should find out she's seeing someone else already, well of course that will hurt, but I know I now have the tools to deal with it.

 

Im thinking of taking your advice, i plan on writing on a piece of paper all i am thankful for and love and pulling it out when i start thinking bad thoughts. What sort of things do you think of?

 

That's a good start. What sort of things should you be thankful for? Well, anything and everything; big or small or medium-sized. From the shoes on your feet and the water running from your tap to your friends and your family, you are surrounded by things and people you may be taking for granted. Most importantly, love YOURSELF and be grateful for your life.

 

Once you start thinking of things and people you love and are grateful for, you'll need to chop down a rainforest to supply the paper you need! Because I've been on the road travelling since the break-up, I do my thing in my head mostly; always until I smile. I also have affirmations in the notes app on my phone.

 

The key is to be aware of your feelings. If you're feeling bad, figure out what thoughts are making you feel bad, and challenge them with alternative conclusions! Then think thoughts that make you feel good.

 

Gratitude is the simplest way to feel good in the initial stages, because it goes to show that even though a relationship might have ended badly, there are still plenty of things to appreciate and enjoy in your life! Meanwhile, develop other mental exercises you can use to fend off negativity at a moment's notice.

 

Congratulations on being proactive! Respect!

 

Cheers,

 

DD

[Charingx1]

Thanks, i was having negative thoughts just now re her and this guy at work whose asked for her number (she refused) but it hurts. I think what hurts the most is the way she is now, she cant/wont talk to me because 'shes hiding from herself' i.e. she doesnt want to feel for me. So she gets angry at me or ignores me. So maybe the way to deal with it is to just try and be happy. I have read the secret and i did feel more positive, mindset is the key but it can be easier said than done. Im fine - then i see her and want her all over again. WOuld you advise trying not to look at her at work and how should i be if we unavoidably see each other, im always wary of appearing too happy i dont trust her reaction - i.e. i feel she would take that as green light to hurt me.

[dabbledave]

To be honest, I don't know whether you should look at her at work or not. That's up to you to decide, mate! Just as it's up to you whether to block her on all social media as many will advocate. I have no opinion on that because I was able to quickly get to a point where I don't have to do that stuff.

 

What this thread is about is taking control of what goes on in your own head-space. Yes, it's easier said than done, but in my experience, as described in this thread, it's a lot easier than I expected, with results far superior to what I hoped.

 

You've noted how emotionally screwed up she is ...? Pretty ugly, right?

 

Well, to ensure you are not emotionally screwed up, be proactive in intercepting and displacing negative thoughts and feelings. Develop your own techniques to do this. Focus on the good stuff in your life. Be thankful for it. Feel the thanks. Love it. Feel the love. Let go of resentment and hurt. Feel yourself let it go. Put a smile on your face before you undertake any activity. Feel the physical effects of the smile. Do. Feel. Heal.

 

DD

[dabbledave]

Thanks to those of you who have recommended Thich Naht Hahn.

 

I downloaded a bunch of audio books and sound recordings of his work and words and have been listening to them on trains and buses, and as I drift off to sleep in hostels.

 

In one such recording, Thich Naht Hahn is asked: "How can I smile through my sorrow?" To paraphrase his answer: We are like television sets with millions of channels. If we watch the sorrow channel too closely, we will become sorrow. But we are so much more than the sorrow we feel in any given moment, thus we should not allow sorrow or any other negative emotion to drown the rest of us out. We must take control and change the channel of our thoughts in order to smile through our sorrow.

 

Thus Thich Naht Hahn joins the chorus of wise people from all religions, successful people in all endeavours, including self-help "gurus", who insist that we must be mindful of our feelings and be proactive in displacing negativity with positivity.

 

Thich Naht Hahn is a Buddhist who advocates mindfulness and meditation. His meditation lectures/workshops start with the basics. As soon as you concentrates on your breathing, in and out, and focus on feeling the expansion and contraction of your lungs and the rush of air around the edges of your nostrils, an interesting thing happens -- your mind clears itself of thought. He suggests putting a smile on your face as you do this as it relaxes the muscles in your face -- a simple lifting of the corners of your mouth will suffice.

 

It's at this point that we have the opportunity to introduce positive imagery and words. In one recording Thich Naht Hahn uses this example: As you breathe in, think or visualise a flower; as you breathe out, think freshness. And you may well feel refreshed! In another recording he talks about gratitude (thereby joining the long list of eminent folk who also believe in the power of simple gratitude!): As you breathe in, think the simplest affirmation possible "yes!". As you breathe out, think "thank you".

 

Based on this, I've developed a little technique to intervene in regretful or painful thoughts about my recent break-up (or anything else):

 

1. As I am aware of a negative thought (a jumble of them sometimes), I stop and concentrate on a breath cycle, [in] and [out].

 

2. As my mind clears itself of thought(s) I start to introduce Thich Naht Hahn's simple affirmation "Yes!" on the inhale and thanks on the exhale: [in] Yes! [out] Thank you [in] Yes! [out] Thank you ...

 

3. After one or two cycles of that I replace the yes with what I want to feel: [in] Happy [out] Thank you [in] Healthy [out] Thank you [in] Confident [out] Thank you etc -- You see how you can insert any affirmation you want into this? -- until a genuine smile replaces my meditative smile!

 

The whole process -- steps 1 to 3 -- might only take 20 or 30 seconds before I smile for real. When a genuine smile breaks out I tend to break concentration (I'm new at this! ) and return to what I should have been doing until I became aware of bad feelings.

 

How simple and neat and potentially life-changing is that?

 

Be strong. Be cool.

 

Cheers,

 

DD

[dabbledave]

Congratulation to Benville, who has decided to make the effort, and is reaping the benefits!

 

Positive mental attitude, albeit taking great effort (but that's half the fun of the challenge), really is like an elixir to life. If you can do it, it's amazing, no other way to describe it.

 

Check out his story:

 

DD