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Benville

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  1. I'm glad to see you're learning to have fun and do things on your own, I really am. I just want to have my friend back and talk to you about things, nothing more, just friends, someone who will listen and support, like you always did when things were good. Maybe one day soon, we'll see.
  2. So yesterday I discover you are in fact having a much harder time dealing with our separation than I thought you did. You always portrayed yourself as the hard edged, diamond coated girl who was completely in control of her emotions. Last time we broke up you were steadfast and determined in it being over, and were solid as a rock. It took me time to melt that, and to get you to ease up. I imagined you would be the same this time. I never expected, in a hundred years, for you to actually ask me for more time. You told me you wanted us to be friends, and I thought we could just chat, but you're not handling it well at all are you? In some ways, this makes things easier for me. I thought you'd walked away from us a while ago, and were ready to move into the arms of another. This humanises you, and lets me see you're just as fragile as I am. It makes me love you all the more. I know now that we actually did mean something to one another, even though it didn't work out. It makes me smile to know I meant as much to you as you did to me, even if you hid it so god damned well. I'll be leaving you alone, just like you asked last night, and one day I know we'll be friends again and be able to look back on our time together and smile. I'm calm and peaceful tonight. I still miss you, but now I know I can fully let you go in a sense of warmth, not anger or bitterness. Smile for me gorgeous, you deserve to be happy.
  3. I tire of you. I miss having company, but I know now I don't miss you. You're a child, a needy insecure child, who fills her life with drama so as to avoid recognising your life is empty. It's empty because you never take chances, you never do anything, you avoid any possible situation where you could be wrong. You're a coward, and you run, like you ran from me too. I'm moving on, and I'm moving upwards too. I wanted to be there for you, to help you through this difficult part in life, but you chose someone else after taking so much from me. I won't be looking back again. It hurts because I truly loved you, for the first time in my life I loved fully. I wonder if you were ever there, everything with you is a web of lies and half truths. I look forward to the day I won't ever think of you again. Sadness has given way to anger, and soon anger will give way to peace, and you will no longer touch and harm my life.
  4. I knew you had been considering making plans to go out drinking with the new guy after your graduation last night, then I read on facebook this morning that you're hungover, so you obviously went somewhere. I can't help thihnking if it was with him. I shouldn't care. You were bad for me, you were right about that, but I just want you back in my life. Why do you have to be so god damned loveable?
  5. I don't understand how you profess to love me, tell me that the happiest you've ever been is with me, that noone has ever cared for you like I did, yet you still seek solace and affection in the direction of another man. What did I ever do wrong. Why couldn't you be honest with me. Why couldn't you just tell me instead of letting me do all those things for so long, and only leaving me once I stopped being useful. WHY CANT I BE ANGRY WITH YOU OR THINK BADLY OF YOU, EVEN AFTER ALL THIS I want you back, back in my life, back in my arms. I wish I'd never met you.
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