Ms Darcy Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Kuite - I hear what you are saying. You certainly don't have to convince me that you were a good gf - you were together for so long I know you did the best you could and he did the best he could. Sometimes people are just incompatible for a relationship. He's the one that's gone. He chose to leave and chose to stay away. We on the hand are here to help you through. With his age and your time together, I would really think about what you want. I personally would walk away from a relationship that went on for seven years with no commitment. At his point, it would become clear that the other person had doubts and I needed to move on. But that's just me. I would say is that although you don't want to lose him, he is already gone. Link to comment
Kuite09 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Kuite - I hear what you are saying. You certainly don't have to convince me that you were a good gf - you were together for so long I know you did the best you could and he did the best he could. Sometimes people are just incompatible for a relationship. He's the one that's gone. He chose to leave and chose to stay away. We on the hand are here to help you through. With his age and your time together, I would really think about what you want. I personally would walk away from a relationship that went on for seven years with no commitment. At his point, it would become clear that the other person had doubts and I needed to move on. But that's just me. I would say is that although you don't want to lose him, he is already gone.[/quote Yea, its prettty obvious I already lost him. U know what Darcy i just feel we werent on the same page at the same time. When he was ready for the next step I was like oh no I am not ready relax then when I was ready he wasnt ready. We wanted the same things but it was just bad timing I guess. I have no doubts that he loves me cuz I know he does, I just get so fustrated cuz at one point we wanted it all together this man wanted started to talk about marraige within months of us being together. Maybe we just grew apart? who knows or like you said we might be uncompatible. I guess I always thought being togher for so long that we can get thru anything. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 I know .. the hardest part is letting go of the reality you knew for so long. Link to comment
Kuite09 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 I know .. the hardest part is letting go of the reality you knew for so long. Thanks so much for all your replies Darcy. Link to comment
learning2relax Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 He obviously still cares about you. I think the best thing that you can do is focus on yourself. You are still very focused on the relationship and losing him. The best thing he can do for himself is separate himself from the drama that has stressed him out to the point that he had to do something. You are looking for answers from him about reconciliation and although he cares for you, he can't make any promises. You would be best to consider it behind you and focus on what you need to do for yourself and to not repeat the mistakes you learned from this relationship. Link to comment
Kuite09 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 He obviously still cares about you. I think the best thing that you can do is focus on yourself. You are still very focused on the relationship and losing him. The best thing he can do for himself is separate himself from the drama that has stressed him out to the point that he had to do something. You are looking for answers from him about reconciliation and although he cares for you, he can't make any promises. You would be best to consider it behind you and focus on what you need to do for yourself and to not repeat the mistakes you learned from this relationship. Yea I know I need to focus on me and I am really really trying to just do me and thats it. Today wouldve been our 7yr anniversary so its a lil bit of a blue day for me. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 You are still to focused on yesterday, and not today or tomorrow. I don't think he is leading you on, but he also does not desire you in his life at this point. Link to comment
mhowe Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 You are still too focused on yesterday, and not today or tomorrow. I don't think he is leading you on, but he also does not desire you in his life at this point. Link to comment
Kuite09 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 You are still to focused on yesterday, and not today or tomorrow. I don't think he is leading you on, but he also does not desire you in his life at this point. Its obvious he doesnt want me in his life right now cuz if he did we'll be together. I am trying to move on but its hard because the time we were together it was 7yrs! I guess not what hitting me is that there is no hope left and that I really need to move on, before I still had some hope but that hope is fading away and for my own good I need to move on. Link to comment
Chuck Bartowsk Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Trying to send you a PM but your inbox is full. Link to comment
Kuite09 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 Here is an update.......... So after 3 weeks that I sent him the card and he called to thank me, he actually decides to call on Monday. I missed his call but called back 30 min later. We spoke for about 15 min and he said he just wanted to hear my voice and see how I was doing. It was a normal convo about how u been and hows the family and stuff like that. Once we were about to hang up he said he said we'll talk soon. There was no convo about the relationship or anything like that it was just a civil hello, how you doing convo. I know I shouldnt make much of it because it doesnt mean nothing but atleast he decided to call and that makes me happy. I kept my cool as much as possible becuz I know hes use to be always bringing up the relationship/break up. At this point like I said I am not going to read too much into but is this some type of little sign? If you read the beginning of this thread he stated "he hasnt called me because he doesnt want to lead me on" but now all the sudden he calls. My ex is a nice guy, hes good hearted and I know he doesnt want to hurt me. What do you guys think about this???? Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 He is just checking in...cause he's a nice guy. That was a "hello", not a "let's fix this". Let it go, feel good about it, and move on. Link to comment
Kuite09 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 He is just checking in...cause he's a nice guy. That was a "hello", not a "let's fix this". Let it go, feel good about it, and move on. I know It was just a hello but he hasnt botherd to make an attempt to call in a very long time. What if he calls again? Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 React the same way you did this past time --- but don't count on another call in the near future. My ex ran into me after 2 months, we had that same chat about nothing, and it was at least 6 weeks before I heard from him again. You need to focus on you...not contact with him. Link to comment
Kuite09 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 React the same way you did this past time --- but don't count on another call in the near future. My ex ran into me after 2 months, we had that same chat about nothing, and it was at least 6 weeks before I heard from him again. You need to focus on you...not contact with him. I have been focusing on me, I just bought my first townhome so I got a whole lot going on and to keep me busy right now. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 That's great!!! Congrats!!!! Just keep moving forward. If he comes back into your life, awesome. If your time together is over, cherish the memories and get started on creating new experiences without him. The best thing is to keep busy. Link to comment
Kuite09 Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 Thanks so much MHOWE! That's great!!! Congrats!!!! Just keep moving forward. If he comes back into your life, awesome. If your time together is over, cherish the memories and get started on creating new experiences without him. The best thing is to keep busy. Link to comment
Chuck Bartowsk Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 Thanks so much MHOWE! Time to clear the inbox Kuite09 Link to comment
nicegirl1123 Posted January 14, 2012 Share Posted January 14, 2012 What happened since? Did you ever hear back from him since the phone call? Link to comment
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