Losing Friends

[people500]

Hi everyone, I have been making some friends, a lot of them from dating sites. It's really great because I have a hard time making friends. Well I have had some free time this week and next so I figured I could hang out with a couple of them. Some of them I have hung out with before and had a great time. I also have a couple new ones who I recently met on the site, and they told be they be up to being friends. I'm a really nice down to earth guy, and I'm not bad looking. Yesterday I emailed a couple of them and told them I have some free time next week I'd like to hang out with them. And to let me know what days and times work best for them. I emailed another guy who I really like and was really nice, and wrote this "Hey you, I have some extra free time next week! Maybe we can go out to lunch or something. And are you interested in seeing the Captain America movie? That comes out in like 2 weeks. I'm excited about it! Hope your having a great week! I've been telling some of my friends about how awesome you are

 

Well I haven't heard back from any of them. I have been crying my eyes out, I have been neglected by friends before and it really really hard on me. I'm never mean or anything to them. I emailed like 5 of them. I'm worried that I'm going to lose all of them. I'm pretty sure they all got my emails. Last night I typed this message below. Most of them know I'm gay. I don't want to lose any of them. I have come such a long ways since I started posting on this site, and have worked so hard to make these friendships. I don't what I do to make them not like me. I want to send this, but I wanted to get some feedback first. Thanks

 

Hey everyone,

 

I wanted to share something with all of you. I love my life, I'm grateful for all I have. I have a wonderful job at Target, and have recently moved out of my parents house. I'm enjoying my independence, and I've grown so much from it.

 

For those of you who don't know. I have been diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome. It's a smaller form of autism. I have overcome a lot but it still affects me in some ways. Also I'm homosexual. I have no problems with it, but it has been quite a struggle for me. I'm scared to death of being rejected by everyone. I feel like I can't really be myself. I'm trying to open up a little bit, but it's sure not easy.

 

I have always felt different from everyone, and have had self esteem issues. I think a lot of it comes from the combination of being gay and having Aspergers. I always try to be the best person I can be. I want to look back on my life and be happy for what I've done. Life can sure be a challenge sometimes. Somedays I just feel like crying my eyes out, but then you have those awesome days too.

 

I hope I have been a good friend to all of you. Your friendships mean so much to me. Sometimes I do struggle with loneliness. It's really hard, but I know I have you guys. What I'd like to hear from all of you, is how I can be a better friend. I always worry that I say the wrong thing. And I never want to upset anyone. Please let me know.

[Hollyj]

Please, do not send this! You will scare them away!!!!!!

 

You barely know this people, yet you have attached much significance to them. Have you tried meeting people offline. What about Meet up groups or volunteering? How about social events in the gay community?

 

I know the Asperger's can affect your judgement and ability in these areas but, please do not take things so personally. People get busy and unfortunately do not RSVP to invites as they should. Can be very rude-I do a lot of event planning and I don't think people recognize the work that goes into these. I mean how difficult it to respond to an invite.. Anywho, I digressed. Get yourself out in your community and get involved, don't make this one particular group your main source of socializing!

 

I just realized you e-mailed yesterday. You are not giving people time to respond.

[Capricorn3]

"I've been telling some of my friends about how awesome you are"

 

Well I haven't heard back from any of them.

I think they were all probably feeling a little weirded out by your comment above. I would find it rather odd if one of my friends sent me an email with that comment - it just seems so out of place to the rest of your email.

 

As to the other email you want to send. I'm not sure it's a good idea, in that it makes you look desperate and overly needy which usually makes people back away. But that said, if it makes you feel better and you think it will help, then send it. I'm not sure you'll have a positive response though.

[people500]

@capricorn haha yeah I've been thinking the same thing. I only sent that to one guy, who's also gay. I'm the closest to him too. I thought that wouldn't bother him, we've had a lot of fun.

 

yeah I won't send it off. I heard back from a few of them. I'm glad I posted it on here. One of my friends said it was fine, but I agree with you guys.