Dougie_D Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I'm really trying to find some dates. I live with one guy and one girl and they have NO problem getting numbers/dates/kisses/, etc. We actually tally them and I'm obviously nowhere to be found. So here is my O.K cupid profile. Please let me know what is not working. Thanks so much! link removed Link to comment
WockaWocka Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Hi Dougie, Your first picture is great. Picture #2 is not very flattering and I'd cut it if I were you. If I were you I'd try to also cut the "Hahaha!"s, maybe replace with a smiley face if you think you need to. I wondered about the whole "thinking about theories" and "life is just a theory" part of the profile. It's probably not something I'd highlight if I were you, maybe save it for after you meet them offline. I think it's fine to admit you're a virgin and put it out there upfront but I wouldn't say "like a girl when it comes to my virginity" as it almost sounds like you have some feminine sexual traits or something.. Maybe just say "I'm a virgin." Hope this helps! Cheers. Link to comment
Alezia Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Maybe it's just me, but your profile seems half-negative. The whole comments like link removed I am working on NOT being in the FRIENDZONE all the time. Are a turn off But that's just me. I do like your headshot photo (the clean one), except I'm wondering if you do clean up like that normally on a date? On the other pictures, you seem to have the scruffier look going on. Link to comment
DanDee Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I agree with the others. Definitely remove the bit about girls always putting you in the friendzone (it makes you look as though theres something inherently wrong with you) and remove the second pic. Maybe also mix the cheekiness with some seriousness too - it'll make you seem more serious about finding a long term partner. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 I am with everyone else. It's a negative profile. And you need better pictures. Is it rude for me to suggest losing a couple of pounds too? And maybe a new haircut/hair style. I think you need a little make over. That will really help improve your confidence. I encourage you to be open to all races and sizes, and to make that clear on your profile. I also didn't really like the "perception of perfection." Surely you can expound on thoughts of something deeper and less negative. So my coworker, who I am "hanging out with" had an online dating profile before we started doing our thing. Anyway, three things really impressed me about his profile. He is a very attractive guy, yet he was very intentional about posting four great pictures. I would encourage you to do the same. Second, his profile was full and thoughtful. Each item had at least a paragraph. Third, he said some really cute and quirky stuff. Finding a way to infuse your humor makes your profile much warmer and more approachable. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 O.k. I updated my profile! What do you think ladies? Also, I picked the best 4 pictures....basically deleted the others. My avatar(on enotalone) is the most recent picture of what I look like, but I don't have a camera...just my phone so the quality sucks. Link to comment
Kitten love Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Nice profile! The only thing I would change is the "you should message me" part at the bottom, I would probably lose (or adapt- maybe with a wink) the "if you can keep my interest" part, sounds like you're high maintenence and the girl is going to have to work really hard on a date/relationship with you. Link to comment
DanDee Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Yeah I agree, it's much better. I'm just a bit concerned about the 'casual sex' part. It's just that a good girl might be rather turned off by a guy who's willing to sleep around, but of course this is your choice. I hope you get lots of dates out of it! Link to comment
dramallama Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I think you should get a friend to take a relaxed outdoor photo of you with some nice scenery in the background. Remove the bowling photo, it's not the most flattering. Have you thought about getting rid of the goatee? I think that some people can pull it off, but on others it looks like they don't have style. I think you'd look way better clean shaven. I'm a bit iffy about your current "confused" profile picture. I think you should replace that photo with a photo of you outdoors with nice scenery. I would remove that you are looking for casual sex, even if you are. It could be a turn off for some women and it makes it seem as if you are out for whatever you can get and whatever someone will give you. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I really like the cleaned up Dougie! Great pic. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 The pics are definitely better and the overall profile is more positive. I would still pass if I saw it though. "Casual sex" means run away to me. You still don't say much overall, but that's just me. Link to comment
hers Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Actually I like your profile. It seems light-hearted and fun. I'd write you back if you messaged me. (note: i saw your profile after the edit you mentioned in this thread). BUT keep in mind...your profile name is the same as your ENA name. I'm a stalker...I looked up everyone's profile names to see if I could find them on other sites to see what they're like. May sound crazy, no lie, but I can't tell you how many guys I somehow found on CL Men Seeking Women Casual Encounters b/c they'd put their regular email or AIM name, which was the same as the OKC name so it came up, and I'd see them acting like complete dirtbags on that site and would 86 them on OKC. Hope I explained myself ok without sounding confusing! But considering how much negative and self-deprecating posting you do here, if I googled you and found you on here, I'd not write back. I don't know if other girls ever do that (I know a couple who do so I'm not completely crazy) but juts my opinion! Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Cool ladies! Thanks so much. I'm going to take casual sex off and probably add a wink or something. I'll let you know when my picture is up. I think I'm negative because it's really HARD for me to look at things positively. I want to work on being a little more positive but then it FEELS fake. I'm so honest and I don't like to sugarcoat it. Getting a DATE will be a POSITIVE thing for me though! Link to comment
Alezia Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 I like the profile much better. The only thing that still turns me off is this line. People who are truly mysterious, don't point out how 'mysterious' they are. That's the whole beauty of it. link removed My awesomeness!? Honestly, I really don't know. I'm mysterious at times. Link to comment
jengh Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 As a fellow stalker, I agree with the name thing. I google everyone. Seriously. I like your profile too. Granted, I didn't see the initial one but I think this one is, like hers said, lighthearted and fun. Honestly, not a fan of the bowling pic but it's also a part of who you are so what the hell, keep it up. Link to comment
Alezia Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Perhaps change the initial profile pic back to the original. Your acting picture is probably a bit more eugh 'girl friendly'. I do love your updated profile though! Keep up the good work. Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Ok, you do look a lot better without the goatee - however, get someone, anyone, even if it's some random person in a park, to take a nice, outdoor shot of yourself. The photo, your main one, looks like it was taken in some dingy bathroom. Not a good impression. Perhaps you could ask the admin here to change your username. Either that or change your username on the dating site. It's a precaution for women to google user IDs, just to be on the safe side and I think it would be a disadvantage to you if they were to find your account here. Link to comment
Alezia Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Yeah take it from someone out of the dating world which needs no real 'help'. I have several people in real life that are stalking my ENotAlone account asides from the bf - including current and past co-workers. It takes large shoulders to know that the entire world is reading what you are writing. I've had people walk up to me at work and comment on some particular post I've made - great. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 Explain "disadvantage"? If a girl I was into saw my OKC profile and then saw this one, wouldn't she have a more "understanding" of who I am? Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Explain "disadvantage"? If a girl I was into saw my OKC profile and then saw this one, wouldn't she have a more "understanding" of who I am? It takes away the mystery and knowing that you're finding it hard to date would not be something that a woman needs to know, if you want to continue having more dates with her. You've laid it all on the line here, but that's not necessarily a good thing for people who might date you. Link to comment
Dougie_D Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 Isn't that the purpose of a dating site? Someone who has a hard time getting a date? Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Isn't that the purpose of a dating site? Someone who has a hard time getting a date? Yes. But the purpose of a forum is to get advice and you want to project yourself as someone that is confident with dates, and if they find your profile here, I don't think it will help you project the image that will be attractive to women. You don't have to agree with me, but that's just my advice. To change either your username there or here. Link to comment
bichin Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Everything you say you want on a dating site is in code. What I would like to say: Take me to dinner and have sex with me once a week and I'll be happy. What I would say: I'm looking for a weekly dinner date. Link to comment
dali Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Never ever use usernames on forums that can identify you in real life. Especially relationship, sex and drug forums. For a matter of fact you shouldn't even have any part of your name as part of your username unless its fake. Google cahe websites, meaning posts you made that are even deleted can be viewed. Link to comment
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