Interest in someone, seems to show some interest in me, ... she has a boyfriend

[TiredOfGames]

I find myself in a slightly odd situation, but one that, unfortunately, has not been uncommon for me. My GF broke up with me a few weeks ago now, but the recovery from that has been different to what I faced the first time we broke up last year. I won't go into the details here as they are somewhat irrelevant, but I feel I am now in a position where I am ready to begin meeting new people and dating again, and at the least getting my feet wet as it were. I'm still recovering from the breakup for sure, and there are feelings that will never go away, but I am beginning to find other people attractive and date worthy (which I never really noticed or felt when with my now ex).

 

Okay, so there is someone who I've come to find very cute, and as a result quite attractive to me. I see her on a regular basis during the average week and we've spoken on numerous, albeit limited, occasions. This past Friday there was a wine tasting close by which she mentioned to me that same day. She asked if I was going, and also mentioned another wine tasting the following night at a different place. I said I'd likely attend both, and would perhaps see her there, but I never gave a definitive time or anything. So on Friday I did go to the first wine tasting but it was quite late. The tasting began at 5:30pm, and I arrived at around 8:10pm (it ran until between 8:30pm and 9:00pm). She was there and remarked (somewhat jokingly) on my tardiness, to which I played along and even apologized somewhat. I got the impression she was slightly disappointed, but then that's just my opinion at this point. She had basically been working since 6 or 7 that morning, and had been hanging out since 4:30pm. I got the sense she was expecting to see me there much earlier as she wasn't with anyone else (not when I arrived at least). I joined her for a short while and we had fun. She left before 9pm as she had to work again the following (Saturday) morning.

 

Early Saturday afternoon I saw her again and she asked if I was still going to that evening's wine tasting. I said I was, asked her what time she was going, and I said I'd be there around the same time. Now I find this person quite cute and attractive, even more so following our brief time together the night before. I made sure to stick to my word and I showed up that evening at around the same time she did. She was there, and so was her boyfriend, of whom I knew nothing up until this point. Truth be told I was a little disappointed, but I joined them and enjoyed the entire evening nonetheless. Her boyfriend seemed to be a nice guy. Nothing special, just your typical nice guy. I won't go into how she seemed at our table when her boyfriend was there compared to when it was just the two of us, as I could have been reading into something incorrectly. At 9pm they began getting ready to leave (she had work again early Sunday morning).

 

She then told me what time she'd be working until and asked if I'd be there at some point. Her boyfriend was there during this exchange, and I'm not sure what he thought of it, but I thought there was something more than met the eye. I said I'd likely be there at some point, it is after all a hangout place when I have nothing else going on. Plus recently with her I've had additional incentive to be there. Still, I find it curious that she would mention her hours to me, when she'd be there until, then ask if I'd be going in.

 

What do you think of this?

[blackhawks1287]

NOOOO, lol. I know you like her, but boundaries man. After all we have been through! lol. If you feel something for her it is not fair to the boyfriend. If she is pushy about this, back off, really its not fair. I know you don't want to steal her away, but clearly there seems to be something going on under the table. A hidden agenda so to speak, not saying anything could come out of it, but no no no.

 

Don't be Adam and eat the fruit when she gives it to you...I know....I just went there...

[TiredOfGames]

Hey blackhawks! I know, I know. I had no idea she had a boyfriend until this evening. I'm not sure why she would be showing, what I perceive as, some amount of interest. I'm not going to stop hanging out at this place, but I'll stop any over-friendly chatter with her at this point. I'm not sure what she's thinking, but I agree with you, I don't want to be rocking any boats. Not sure why this would happen to me at this point in time. How frustrating!!! Is it common for women to behave this way with other guys, even though they have boyfriends at home so to speak??

[guynextdoor]

She could be enjoying the attention. Look man she is takin, respect that and back off. Just be casual about it which you are and leave it at an acquantence level.

[TiredOfGames]

I guess I find it disappointing that some people behave in this way. When I'm with someone, my most recent ex for instance, there is nobody else of interest to me. I suspect my ex behaved the same way with other guys when I wasn't around, and it's sad to think this was likely the case. I just hope this isn't too common with women already in relationships!

 

Now that I know this new person has a boyfriend I will not be doing anything to muddy any waters. I myself would not want to be with someone who acted in this way with other guys. I firmly believe in treating others the way in which I wish to be treated myself. It's disappointing to me and also a little frustrating as this is a local hangout of mine. Anyway, I am and will remain casual about it and nothing more.

 

Someone else will come along that does not already have a boyfriend or husband, and I am certainly in no rush at this point!

[MakeItCount]

Doesn't mean she is interested in you romantically, sounds like just as a friend to me. Innocent flirting doesn't mean anything.

 

Let this one go.

[catfeeder]

Advice from grandma: the problem isn't that snakes will cross your path. They will. The problem comes when you're so bored or lonely you'll pick one up to play with it.

 

If you're sincerely 'tiredofgames,' then raise your bar. Screen out people who play those instead of becoming intrigued by them.

[TiredOfGames]

the problem isn't that snakes will cross your path. They will. The problem comes when you're so bored or lonely you'll pick one up to play with it.

 

Haha, I like that!

 

No, I screened her out the moment I found she had a boyfriend. I've never been one to play games, and having just been with someone who played games with me, I'm even more determined to not do so. I just find this sort of behaviour disappointing when I come accross it. Snakes indeed.

[dumpedinshock]

Yeah that's breaking the code man, she's with another man, if u wanna go on with that, be ready to get dumped for another guy someday

[dedem]

It's not commonplace for women to do this, but she's likely doing it for a need to boost self-esteem. Why? Because it's empowering to a woman to know that she can get the attention of more than one guy, and there's also a bit of danger in flirting with someone other than the boyfriend. She could also be bored with her man and looking for someone new. Either way, not a good choice as far as girls go, because it shows she's secretly not confident in herself and possibly emotionally immature, hunting about for more game when there's already something at the table.

 

Don't get too involved with her, no matter what plays out.

[oldenoughtoknow]

I would keep this one at arm's length. Is she friendly with everyone? My first two thoughts, and I don't think someone TiredOfGames would like either of, is she is looking to spice up her sagging relationship by making her BF a bit jealous, or she is looking to really spice up her relationship and they were sizing you up for a menage a trois. Everybody has their own games they like to play.

[TiredOfGames]

or she is looking to really spice up her relationship and they were sizing you up for a menage a trois.

 

Haha, I do hope not! Anyway, for anyone just coming to this thread the title is a little misleading so I apologize. I didn't know she had a boyfriend until Saturday night and she never gave any indication that she was with anyone prior to that, through action or conversation. I lost interest as soon as I learned of the boyfriend and I will be keeping any future interactions with her somewhat low-key. I am tired of games, and I certainly don't plan on getting into any with anyone!

 

ToG

[Day_Walker]

I dont think that her actions were out of place, instead your post is completely from your perspective, where you admit that you think she is attractive and are interested in her. I think that this girl gave you a taste of what you were looking for and you thought the situation was more than it was.