exes who are mean...but with a different twist

[LittlePea]

There was a similar topic about exes who are mean. A lot of people have told me that maybe my ex is trying to "get over me" or is suppressing feelings of hurt. But he shows no signs of saddness or hurt. See my twist is that my ex is now serious with a girl he was going out before me. Since our breakup, my ex has been extremely mean to melling me that I'm "f-ing pissing me off" when I ask about why he has "fallen out of love with me", how he could date someone so suddenly after me, especially with someone who he said he didn't love anymore. I think I'm asking valid questions. But he doesnt' return any of my phone calls anymore and completely has forgotten about me.

 

Like the other forum, this mean behavior is totally out of his character. Why do you think he is being mean to me? If he is trying to get over me or is hurt, why does he have to go out with her?

[sayer7]

It sounds like he's moved on hon.

 

I think you should also... especially if you love him and he's serious about another girl. A person who loves another must respect their space and their new relationships and NOT try to interfere.... even if your heart breaks even more and you hurt like hell.

 

I'm sorry.

 

Why not try NC for a month and see if he calls you... If he does then maybe he still cares about you more than he is showing right now. If not-- then you need to move on.

 

There's millions of other eligible guys out there so consider yourself lucky. The pain will subside in time and you will heal if you let yourself....

[electricekcentric]

i disagree....the guys a loser,and not to mention totally selfish.no,he hasnt moved on...he just runs away...like most people do.he leaves her,,,comes to you,,then leaves you and goes back to her.etc etc.how could you ever trust him again anyways.he could care less about how this is effecting you.the only lame answer he has for you is fu##### pi##### me off"you are making him angry?sounds just like my ex.i cant believe i still wanted her after all of the grief she put me through.no,he hasnt moved on...he just ran away like a coward.hes a loser!you should be glad hes gone...and you will eventually.if you talk to him again .tell him to go and #### himself!

good luck

[Belle]

I agree with electrice,

 

If he's mean to you he's not over it. When you really fall out of love you don't want to hurt the other person. It's when you still have feelings that you want to drive it home. And yeah, he's a running coward.

 

B

[sayer7]

Regardless of if he's over it or not, I STILL think he's not worth your time trying to get back with or communicating with... especially if he's going to be a jerk to you and not be a friend. I personally wouldn't trust him if he DID come back to me if that other relationship doesn't work out for him. I just say there's other fish in the sea, and that one you should throw back.

 

I was trying to put it nicely but electric was more down to earth. lol

[Scout]

If it's out of character for him to say things like that, then my guess is you are seriously annoying him with repeated calls and questions and he is growing increasingly frustrated. It appears the relationship is over for him; are you ready to let go and move on?

[LittlePea]

Hmmm...two different opinions. How did you guys come up with these views? Previous experience? How do you know if he's moved on or not?

 

I know I shouldn't even think about him anymore...but I can't stop.

[Sadboy75]

Well well well... I am going through exactly the same thing. My ex says she never wants to have antyhitng to do with me ever again... and all this after the most wonderful year together (both 29). She wanted space, gave it to her, now she has run away and wants nothing to do with me!

 

This hurts as they dont seem to care! But maybe they do! Maybe they will calm donw, clear their minds, and put everything into perspective! For them to be so angry I really think they may have other issues they are dealing with. With ou around they cant deal with this..

 

It is harsh but it has to be accepted! Really there is no point being with someone like this... better that you find out now than leter on in life when there is marriage, children, etc all involved!

 

Thank your lucky stars.. I know I am trying to! Still hard to deal with and fathom that someone you have shared so many lovely and intimate moments with can just leave (on amicabel terms due to their own confusion) and treat you that way... If so, its not worth it! Their loss

[lady00]

deleted.

[Scout]

Little pea, I feel your pain, and all I can say is that time and distance from him will help you to heal. It seems impossible now, but it will happen. I guess I don't know if he's moved on or not, but based on your original post it sounds like he has. Especially if he's seeing someone else. There may be other details to your situation that might give more insight into whether he's moved on or not, I don't know. At any rate, I don't think you should subject yourself to any more pain than you are already experiencing, so don't call him - obviously, the calls leave you feeling very hurt.

[electricekcentric]

i got dumped nearly 2 years ago,and my ex strung me along up until recentley,when i put a stop to it.every time before i put a stop to it,she became very sweet,and caring and sometimes we had sex,but when i would start to feed into her game she would pull the plug and send me on another emotional rollercoaster.the fact is that these people dont know how to love the way they said they did at the start,im no saint and i wasnt perfect.she did some things during our relationship that made me feel very disrespected.and she was completely unaccountable for her actions.you ask why i hung on as long as i did?well...i still dont know?but i finally told her good bye.and low and behold she will call or e mail me.im nolonger going to answer any of them.my point being is that neither you nor i ran away...we tried to make things work,they are the ones that ran away....now it is time for us to move on!!!!!!

[sandbox2832]

hi sadboy75,

 

The comment about them being so angry that it may have to do with other issues they are dealing with, it made a lot of sense.

 

I'm currently on 2D-NC again. Come the 14th it's been a month since my breakup. The longest I've gone with NC is 7D. The last time I saw my Ex in person he was kinda angry. It never occurred to me that possibly other stuff might be hitting him and his anger is misdirected toward me wrongly. There could have been things in the relationship that he failed to do or let go by and he could be mad at himself partly.

 

I'm back to trying 3D-NC tomorrow. I hope to make it at least 8 days without contact and strive for a new record.