PrettyGood Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 This poll question is both for women and men. I will count answers separately. So, I'm interested to find out: Situation: Imagine you live and work abroad abroad. Your significant other lives and studies in your homeland. You earn quite a big sum of money per month to leave your job and your significant other is left 2 years to finish studies. You see each other only every 3 months and it lasts only 2-5 days. Your significant other could die for you and you know that they will be loyal to you no matter what, but what about you? Question: How long could you live without sex having LDR? There is no answer 'I would be loyal forever' because it would be equal that you can live without sex. It wouldn't be healthy not to have sex in your life at all. You "play" with yourself at that time, but it wouldn't be the same. So what is the max number of days you could live without it and then say "Well, I just can't do it any more. He/she will not find out about it in any way." If you could live without sex, but couldn't keep the distance for so long and would decide to split up, how long it would pass until you decide to do this thing? Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 not having sex won't kill you or cause health problems.... i am in LDR and we don't see each other every week and sometimes even for a few months, we can both wait, only makes the sex better when we do see each other, so i would wait for him as long as was needed.... Link to comment
Di84 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I wouldn't cheat. I'd break up with them because the distance is just not making it possible to have the type of relationship I want. Don't use your need for sex as an excuse. Just leave the person and have all the sex you want.. Link to comment
annony Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Depends on your definition of sex. When my man and I were apart (we lived in separate countries and saw each other only every six months) we had "sex" almost every day. You can get creative with phone sex, and with skype and webcams... the world is your oyster. Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Depends on your definition of sex. When my man and I were apart (we lived in separate countries and saw each other only every six months) we had "sex" almost every day. You can get creative with phone sex, and with skype and webcams... the world is your oyster. agreed! phone sex is great!! and there are lots of ways, if you are creative, sexy texts or letters....depends on the people involved but to me it is not a reason to cheat Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I wouldn't be in a relationship where we only saw each other that infrequently unless it was a very temporary situation, not because I can't live without sex but because I need to see the person I'm in a romantic relationship with regularly. Sex is only one component of "why". If my husband for some reason couldn't have sex anymore, ever we would find other ways to be intimate and affectionate - it wouldn't affect my marriage vows. Link to comment
-Sanguine- Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 If I saw a future with this person, as in we had plans to be together (in the same city) at some point within the next couple years or months.. then, I could go without sex until I saw them again. If this was someone I loved and we had seriously talked about marriage/being together for the long run, then I can wait until we live together permanently to have sex more often. Yes - it IS important in the long run, and if I was going to do LDR with someone for many years without talk of being together in the same place, then NO I couldn't do it. For me, it's not so much about the sex, but about the plan that I have with someone and whether or not we include each other in our futures. I have done long distance before and believe me, there are many ways to be "intimate" without actually being intimate. Link to comment
DrKitten Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Every 3 months would be doable, given that the distance is temporary and we have a solid plan to be near each other after the LDR is done. If the future is uncertain and/or we go more than 3 months without seeing each other, I would probably not be willing to stay in the relationship. Link to comment
ibu Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 People can go years and years without sex, heck, I went 21 years without sex while I was a virgin. There's no "time limit" on sex. If you're in an LDR and you're so desperate you want sex and you start thinking "he won't find out", there's something seriously wrong with your relationship. I agree with Di84. Break up, and find someone else to have sex with. I mean, you'd be having sex with someone else anyway. Do your partner a favour and tell him, so he can do the same and doesn't keep waiting for you. Link to comment
ibu Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 If I saw a future with this person, as in we had plans to be together (in the same city) at some point within the next couple years or months.. then, I could go without sex until I saw them again. If this was someone I loved and we had seriously talked about marriage/being together for the long run, then I can wait until we live together permanently to have sex more often. ^This. It's been 6 months since I saw my LDR boyfriend. We'll meet again in July, that'll make it 9 months without sex. Am I thinking about having sex with him and missing it? Yes, all the time. Am I missing it so much that I'd consider having sex with someone else thinking he won't find out? No way in hell. Link to comment
cbh1979 Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 That's not a good excuse for cheating, imo. A person can go a long time without sex...in the meantime, there's always 'liking' yourself. Not saying anyone wants to go without it, or that it's ideal, but one can. It really depends on how one feels about the other person, if they'd be willing to "wait" for them. If I was in love and committed to someone, I could wait. Link to comment
lolotus Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 Couldn't do it, sex is important. Link to comment
Wager Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 There is no answer 'I would be loyal forever' because it would be equal that you can live without sex. I would have to agree with your premise and that would be impossible for me. There is no way I could be convinced that sexual intercourse in the flesh trumps true love. And no one can tell me I cannot be faithful until the end of time. You can discount my answer, of course, but that seems a silly way to conduct a poll. Wager Link to comment
thejigsup Posted April 20, 2011 Share Posted April 20, 2011 I'm an adult and used to the real deal. Skype, phone sex, etc... sort of reminds me of kids in college and I'm an adult. This setup would not work for me at all. I would either cheat after a month or end the relationship. I'm not a long distance type of female. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 We go 3-4 months without sex and right now will have went a year without sex when we see each other. Not having sex won't kill you. Will make you irritable but it won't kill you. Link to comment
Voguester Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 This is slightly off the topic I realize but when you meet in real life the guy you met online and have known for years, do you have sex on the first meeting? You may not see each other for a while. I'm reading 'It's just a Date' which is really insightful, its from the same author as 'He's just not that into you' and says that giving up sex too soon to someone can be the death of a relationship as there is no longer 'the chase'. I think there's merit in waiting but is it such a bad thing to give into passion and lust? I don't know if I should hold off till we meet again next...that could be a year away though Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 We had sex the first time we met. It's all about the people involved andnhow you both view sex. Link to comment
InkkedBree Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 For my guy or the hypothetical guy I could see a future with and we both being definitely are aware of it and wanting it the same, then I can easily go without sex. I don't really feel the need for sex myself. Well, unless somebody makes me wants it, and in that case, it'd be him. So I can go on by. Sure, maybe there'd be days where I do want it but I have a vibrator. If I didn't see a future, I'd break up. Simple. Link to comment
ibu Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 We had sex the first time we met. It's all about the people involved andnhow you both view sex. Same here. We had discussed the possibility of sex online a lot, and then when we finally saw each other, we had sex pretty soon after meeting. Good times. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 Same here. We had discussed the possibility of sex online a lot, and then when we finally saw each other, we had sex pretty soon after meeting. Good times. It was a great ice breaker. Link to comment
civilservant Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 i think my 'why dont you try out the bed' was a great line Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 i think my 'why dont you try out the bed' was a great line LOL but then you were lucky she got the hint, i didn't! i was so oblivious...he stood by my bed, making all kind of compliments on how great it looked, how comfy it would sleep and all that, for 10 minutes! i thought, wow he must want a bed like mine....hahahaha and finally he gave up and went to the guest bedroom....good memories...i was so stupid...but have learned since then!!! guest bedroom no longer in use..... Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 LOL but then you were lucky she got the hint, i didn't! i was so oblivious...he stood by my bed, making all kind of compliments on how great it looked, how comfy it would sleep and all that, for 10 minutes! i thought, wow he must want a bed like mine....hahahaha and finally he gave up and went to the guest bedroom....good memories...i was so stupid...but have learned since then!!! guest bedroom no longer in use..... I so didn't get the hint. I was nervous and I just clammed up. I remember going in there, looking at the bed, and then comin back and sitting on the couch, lol. Bu yes, it was a smooth line. Link to comment
Einsam Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 if you really love somebody you can wait!...I'm already "waiting" since 16th of December 2010 and I will keep waiting till end of september...will be 9 months by then... if you're not willing to wait you're not deeply in love...so quite and find you someone else...don't cheat never ever! Link to comment
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