PrettyGood Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 He left you twice. Both times he had gone without any message even if there were no problems. You were in shock while the time had passed and you understood that he broke with you. One month later he begged you to be his girlfriend again. He told that it was the biggest mistake he'd ever done and will be your dream man. And he tried really hard. Half years later he bought a present for your birthday - a travel to Greece. He was a fantastic boyfriend and wanted you to be so happy, but when two weeks left - he had gone somewhere with all the travel tickets. He used silence treatment, while next day you understand from his friends that he broke up with you again. Ok stupid question, but what this kind of man should make SO BIG and SO GREAT that you would believe him the third time? My answer is only to return and suggest to marry me. No other choices. What's yours idea? Let just imagine your biggest dream. What dream he would make true to be forgiven? Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Nothing. Because I wouldn't have accepted a second time around. My philosophy has been and I live by if it was bad enough to break up the first time what's to say this time it's going to work this time around? I would not want to marry someone who gives me great highs and even greater lows. Someone that blows hot and cold. I need someone more stable than that. This guy sounds immature and is not ready for an adult relationship. Link to comment
iBroken Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Marriage doesnt gaurantee he wont leave again. If my partner did this to me, there would be no third time around. Link to comment
DrKitten Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Nothing. I would tell him to go F himself. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 First time, shame on him. Second time, shame on you. Third time? You get everything you deserve. Sure - agree to marry him. And I'll bet you $5 that he ditches you at the altar. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Once = mistake Twice = conincidence Three times = habit Its not just the fact that he would have left me 3 times, it would be the way in which he did it ... the silent treatment ... disappearing with our holiday tickets. What a guy! If this guy asked me to marry him I wouldn't trust him at all. He will likely disappear on the wedding day with the wedding ring! Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted April 7, 2011 Author Share Posted April 7, 2011 Yeah, I didn't think about the idea that he could ran away from the altar. But not about that... I'm interested - if he left me once and returned, then left me second time will he return again? What's the percentage? Because my friends and all who knows me and EVEN his mother (!) tell me that they're "1000%" sure that he WILL return. How do you think and why do they think so? Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Yeah, I didn't think about the idea that he could ran away from the altar. But not about that... I'm interested - if he left me once and returned, then left me second time will he return again? What's the percentage? Because my friends and all who knows me and EVEN his mother (!) tell me that they're "1000%" sure that he WILL return. How do you think and why do they think so? Because you'll let him. Question is, why would you want him? I dated a guy like this a couple months ago. He did it to me once, I made excuses for him, then he did it again. I would have been a tool to keep going back. Tell me, without the basic trust that your partner won't fall off the face of the earth for any random reason without sound, what in the world do you have? Link to comment
Huntress0527 Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 My question is why would you care? Why do you want to be in a rollercoaster relationship? You deserve so much more than that! Don't let him return, send him packing. I think you should put your energy into healing yourself and not waiting for his return. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted April 7, 2011 Author Share Posted April 7, 2011 I'm sorry Mintiya, I didn't understood your question. Can you re-ask it in other words? And Huntress0527 yes, I'm putting my time on my heart healing. Of course some strong relaxing medicine is helping me, but it's just because I'm oversensitive for this happening. And this time is much easier to go to NC, because HE blocked me everywhere (skype, facebook, mobile phone contacts) like I would be some kind of stalker (which I'm not) So I don't do anything. The only thing I'm hoping now is to heal and when I'm ready to meet someone who deserves me. But why do people thing that he WILL return? I'm in doubt and asking myself "Why should he?" because I loved him, put a lot of lovely gifts in his bag or shelves, wrote love letters and brought roses and other stuff. I even let to make love with me in the way he wants and I thought that I am good for him. My family say that I'm giving too much love and affection for people so they run away. But why run from the nice things which was made with love? I wasn't a stalker type girl. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 I'm sorry Mintiya, I didn't understood your question. Can you re-ask it in other words? I sure can. Why would you think about what you will do if he comes back? The only answer, unless you want to get your heart broken a third time, is "I don't want you back." He can make all these promises to you but he has shown through his actions, that he does not back up his words. They are only words, empty words. Without basic trust in the relationship that he will not just disappear(he has a record of doing this 2 times now), then you don't have the foundation of a good relationship. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 Why would you want to take someone back who has left you twice before ... and who doesn't even have the balls to do the respectful thing and actually tell you he is breaking up with you??? Incidentally, what happened to the holiday tickets? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 This man has the type of character in which he can so easily walk away without notice and without consideration for your feelings. Even if he were to follow through with marriage, you would never know if he would bolt on you again without notice and without a backwards glance. Plenty of people have had their spouse walk out on them..they just come home to find the spouse gone without a word. This man clearly has that character. If he had only done it once one might give him the benefit of the doubt that he learned from his mistake. However, now that he has done it twice, it shows that this is really and truly his character and that will not change. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 I know more than I care to about these type of people. I believe in one second chance for most people. But he already got his second chance. He is going to do this to you again. I would put money on it. Link to comment
thagator Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 I know you wanted female input so I'm sorry in advance. Do not take this guy back. How can you trust him? Wouldn't you rather take the few months now to fully heal yourself and become a stronger person than have him come back to you and the whole time you're together you're just stressing about him leaving again? I wouldn't want to walk on eggshells constantly for somebody. The guy has major commitment issues and he's immature. Unfortunately, men like this are all too common these days. Link to comment
artzygirl Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 He doesn't deserve a third chance, or a girl like you. He sounds very immature and no where near ready for a committed relationship. Find someone better who knows how lucky they are to have you. Link to comment
PrettyGood Posted April 7, 2011 Author Share Posted April 7, 2011 Thank you for your sincere answers Link to comment
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