I understand the anti-promiscuous attitude of men and women

[ProtestTheHero]

Whether you die by gun shot or not will not have an effect on the rest of us (as unfortunate and as mean as this sounds). BUT, your spreading diseases will and DOES carry on, even after an infected cadaver is long dead and buried!

 

This would be a valid point if I had any disease, but I don't. And no, I am quite humble enough to admit to you that my death means little or next to nothing in the scope of the world, lol.

[stormie]

Feel free to drop the condescending tone. What you posted is not any more shocking than saying "Car accidents happen for people who get in cars". No one is debating that there is a risk to any form of sex. The issue is whether it 1) cannot be managed intelligently and made safer, and 2) whether it's a realistic expectation to admonish everyone who chooses to have sex outside of a LTR.

 

I don't think I have a condescending tone - why aren't you lecturing the bondage girl over there, who called me "uneducated"? But if that's the way it comes accross to you, then feel free to deal with it just like you're expecting me to deal w/ other people's name calling. I am a born bred NYC girl - I don't bow down to people or their ideologies of what my attitude should be in any given circumstance. I am who I am and respond accordingly.

[Blue Spiral]

its not safer to have sex.

 

Again, I live in America--I haven't heard of many women being forced to marry against their will. None of the women I've slept with have been stoned to death, nor have I. Not only is it safer to have sex, it's safer not to have sex, with stricter rape laws, spousal abuse laws, etc.

[stingray]

Or, you know, just live your life as you see fit without judgment for how others choose to live theirs. If you want the respect of living the life you choose without interference, you have to give that respect too.

I have seen you judge people who had problems with their partners sexual past by saying they have confidence issues. Aren't you judging as well?

 

I think the people defending promiscuous attitudes need to realize that they themselves are preaching and judging as well. I had a thread open about a situation I was going through with my girl and I got nothing but flak from you guys. When I was actually looking for advice on how to make it work.

 

So how about you guys get off your horse as well? If I view sex as sacred you shouldn't preach to me about your opinions on it. You guys are just as guilty as the other side...

 

This thread should be closed it isn't going to conclude on a good note.

[Sim54]

Oh dear oh dear. The OP is living in the dark ages. Wake up, it's the 21st Century!

[Blue Spiral]

This is the problem - it is people with promiscous ideas such as yourself who make something sacred as sex turned into something cheap.

 

Ma'am, did I (or people like me) time-travel and cause the Spartan warriors to have oiled-up gay sex with each other?

 

Who decided that sex was sacred, by the way? Honest question.

[hexaemeron]

I have seen you judge people who had problems with their partners sexual past by saying they have confidence issues. Aren't you judging as well?

 

I think the people defending promiscuous attitudes need to realize that they themselves are preaching and judging as well. I had a thread open about a situation I was going through with my girl and I got nothing but flak from you guys. When I was actually looking for advice on how to make it work.

 

So how about you guys get off your horse as well? If I view sex as sacred you shouldn't preach to me about your opinions on it. You guys are just as guilty as the other side...

 

This thread should be closed it isn't going to conclude on a good note.

 

So says the person who started the screaming and screaming the loudest. There's a difference between objectivity when people ask for advice and someone who creates a thread just to judge people who don't agree with him. Really, I could give a rat's sack about what you do with your life. You're an adult and your choices are your own. I may not agree with your views, and I feel bad for people who have them, but you're not really hurting anyone, per se. So that's great. Go live your cloistered life, warm yourself by the fire of your supposed moral superiority and be done with it.

 

You can't just very well start a debate and then leave when you're getting what you wanted.

[stingray]

You know the US Government did a lot of indoctrination and social engineering that at one point women were happy to get vacuum cleaners for their birthdays. Women were traditionally expected to stay home and raise the youth so that we can all be upstanding moral human beings. Economically though its much more productive to have women in the workplace because your labour force grows. With that said I am glad those days are over but I do think there needs to be self-restraint in everything.

 

My girl has slept around before me and she feels bad about it and I am sure many others do as well. Why are you promoting a lifestyle that leaves a lot of people feeling empty and bad? I believe there should be self restraint for both men and women! That's all I am saying and I don't see anything so radically wrong with it or so traditional or even primative.

[stingray]

So says the person who started the screaming and screaming the loudest. There's a difference between objectivity when people ask for advice and someone who creates a thread just to judge people who don't agree with him. Really, I could give a rat's sack about what you do with your life. You're an adult and your choices are your own. I may not agree with your views, and I feel bad for people who have them, but you're not really hurting anyone, per se. So that's great. Go live your cloistered life, warm yourself by the fire of your supposed moral superiority and be done with it.

 

You can't just very well start a debate and then leave when you're getting what you wanted.

I am not the OP of this thread so I really didn't start the debate although my thread might have brought the issue out further to spread into this thread. I never attacked anyone for their views I am just annoying that I was pushed onto the defensive for my viewpoints and had to speak out to defend my choices.

[FathomFear]

That's all I am saying and I don't see anything so radically wrong with it or so traditional or even primative.

 

As far as I can tell no one is saying there's anything wrong with those values. If someone wants to only have sex within the context of marriage, all the power to them.

 

Unfortunately that's not what's going on in this thread. This thread has a series of people who are claiming that everyone who doesn't hold such values are essentially causing the downfall of modern society. Big difference.

[hexaemeron]

Because without society's judgment, THEY WOULDN'T FEEL BAD. That's like Maggie Gallagher saying she's not responsible for a good portion of the gay teen suicides in recent years. They're just unhappy all on their own. Seriously?!

[Blue Spiral]

Why are you promoting a lifestyle that leaves a lot of people feeling empty and bad?

 

The lifestyle you're promoting left me feeling empty and bad. And I don't think it'd be very thrilling for Hex or FathomFear, for some mysterious reason.

[stingray]

Because without society's judgment, THEY WOULDN'T FEEL BAD. That's like Maggie Gallagher saying she's not responsible for a good portion of the gay teen suicides in recent years. They're just unhappy all on their own. Seriously?!

She grew up in an area where such behavior is common so she escapes society's overall judgement. How do you explain her unhappiness now? She feels as though her innocence has been ripped away from her.

 

The lifestyle you're promoting left me feeling empty and bad. And I don't think it'd be very thrilling for Hex or FathomFear, for some mysterious reason.

Maybe it was something else making you feeling empty and bad and sex is just a bandaid for that...

[hexaemeron]

She grew up in an area where such behavior is common so she escapes society's overall judgement. How do you explain her unhappiness now? She feels as though her innocence has been ripped away from her.

 

Gosh, it couldn't have been fear of judgment from the people who (allegedly) care about her...Or wait, could it???

[FathomFear]

So really, get off the soapbox, re-evaluate your vocal position here, and let's have a civilized discussion, eh? You know, before my heathen gay behind gets sucked down into hell forever, right?

 

I do find that just about all gay men I've ever met are on a similar wavelength. The reason being is that we had to come to terms with the fact that we could not follow the gender identity society wished to assign us. As a result of that, IMO, we often have a better perspective as we see can rationally critique it from the outside versus being wrapped up in it. I know otherwise very intelligent straight guys who still have almost kneejerk thoughts of "Oh, she's damaged goods" after hearing that a woman had a one-night-stand, for example. And even when they rationally admit that it makes no sense, the thought still lingers as it's being reinforced and messaged to them in all directions.

[greywolf]

Mod note: Please be respectful.

[stormie]

You know, there are so many children in foster homes today who are unwanted, that it literally makes me depressed. They don't deserve to be brought up in a world where no one cares about them and where they are transferred from home to home, just because somebody had an itch to satisfy themselves without any sort of commitment whatsoever.

 

I think out of all things mentioned, this is one the saddest. I just spoke to a girl who is originally from Thailand who said she was pregnant with her boyfriend's baby, and once he found out about that baby, he upped and left her. Now she's alone in a foreign country with no one to help her care for her child. I think that's the kind of behavior that is promoted with promiscuous lifestyles. Has nothing to do with "heathen" like someone here posted, or whatever, but about your responsibility to others.

[ithinkifeel]

Agreed, and thats why we're having this discussion/debate.

 

Then I am grateful for everyone who allows their more basic nature to win once in a while so all of us could be here to have the discussion with you.

[Blue Spiral]

Maybe it was something else making you feeling empty and bad and sex is just a bandaid for that...

 

I am really trying hard not to bring religion into this, but--I'm a preacher's kid, and I've sat through thousands of sermons in my life. I constantly heard that I was feeling empty and bad because of our natural tendency towards evil behavior. Once I got out on my own, I realized that religious and secular harping on control-minded "morality" was what made me feel bad, and I've been happier ever since.

[stingray]

Gosh, it couldn't have been fear of judgment from the people who (allegedly) care about her...Or wait, could it???

If there was no judgement going on then people would be doing a lot of reckless things. Sometimes regulations is good such as those nice devices we call seatbelts in cars or government intervention in enviromental issues. If it's society's judgement that is keeping things in order then lets keep the system because it works.

 

Oh and by the way why would my singular judgement mean anything to her?

[TakingtheBlame]

I am not the OP of this thread so I really didn't start the debate although my thread might have brought the issue out further to spread into this thread. I never attacked anyone for their views I am just annoying that I was pushed onto the defensive for my viewpoints and had to speak out to defend my choices.

 

FWIW, I don't think anyone here disagrees with your right to find a certain sexual lifestyle moral or immoral. That's your choice and yours alone. Nobody would judge you if you chose to quietly consider sex immoral if done outside the confines of a serious relationship and didn't date girls who had multiple one night stands and casual sex partners in the past...but you can't expect to ask people with different value systems whether you have the right to judge other people with different personal value systems and hope they will condone it.

 

For the record, I've lived life on both sides of the coin and have personally found myself a lot happier having sex within a committed relationship. But I would never judge someone as immoral for having the opposite view. And if I did I wouldn't expect people with those opposite views to meekly accept that I was judging them either.

[stingray]

I am really trying hard not to bring religion into this, but--I'm a preacher's kid, and I've sat through thousands of sermons in my life. I constantly heard that I was feeling empty and bad because of our natural tendency towards evil behavior. Once I got out on my own, I realized that religious and secular harping on control-minded "morality" was what made me feel bad, and I've been happier ever since.

I don't practice religion so it is hard for me to imagine what they preached to you but obviously they had their own agendas. I am just saying live and let live don't pass judgement on the anti ons camp either if you don't want to be poked right back.

[stingray]

I am just chiming in because these same individuals who are blasting the OP for passing judgement did the same to me in my thread. I just want to point out their hypocritical stand!

[Blue Spiral]

I don't practice religion so it is hard for me to imagine what they preached to you but obviously they had their own agendas. I am just saying live and let live don't pass judgement on the anti ons camp either if you don't want to be poked right back.

 

I'm fine with either side having opinions--positive or negative--about the other. My issue is when one side tries to control or ostracize the other.

[hexaemeron]

If there was no judgement going on then people would be doing a lot of reckless things. Sometimes regulations is good such as those nice devices we call seatbelts in cars or government intervention in enviromental issues. If it's society's judgement that is keeping things in order then lets keep the system because it works.

 

Oh and by the way why would my singular judgement mean anything to her?

 

Are you serious? You can't imagine why the person she loves having a negative judgment of her (and let's face it, you really do) would make her scared to be honest about things with you? That your judgment of her would make her feel bad? Of course it would.