Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 You're not going to stay overnight at your mom's, so you can spend some time with her? Hey Ren no my son's social club is on Sundays at 11 and he really didn't want to miss it. We are going back in two weeks for family reunion anyway. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 It was an eventful drive to my mother's yesterday. When I stopped at a roadside stop for a washroom break there was a boy around my son's age who just passed out on the floor. He smacked the back of his head pretty good off the floor. He indicated when he came to that his mother was in the bathroom and we ran in there to locate her. Then on the highway this family had broken down in their car in the middle of the highway and they were insane enough to trying get the edge of the highway with their toddler. If you break down in your car you're supposed to remain in your vehicle. Once I had hit the Ford plant in Oakville it was pretty much bumper-to-bumper so I got off had to drive through Burlington and then get back on the highway. Going home I didn't want any nonsense so I took the 407 which is a toll highway. But for me to go both ways on the 407 is $70. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 When I was at my mom's I saw more bad behavior out of my sister firsthand. She treats my mother like absolute dirt. My mother was talking to her and the child completely ignored her on purpose. Then about the seventh time of my mother trying to ask her something she'll start to get angry. And then the girl will turn around and scream at her . But I watched her she ignored my mother absolutely on purpose. And then she will scream at my mother that my mother never gives her chance and is always yelling at her. She is totally gaslighting my mother I watched it for four hours. And I have been seeing it over time. So one time when she was ignoring my mother I said are you goddamn well going to answer? I said you're being spoken to and you're being bloody disrespectful. I know you hear her ,you're just being disrespectful. And if looks could have killed she would've buried me. So I told her you can get that bloody crappy look off your face too. Before I left i made a deal with her that if she behaved for two weeks she could come to my house when we come back from the reunion but if I hear one and I repeat one report of nastiness you won't be coming. It is also her birthday this coming week so she'll be nice but after her birthday she'll just resort to being nasty. I felt so bad for my mom because my mom actually started crying and said she can't do this anymore. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 And what shocked me the most is that she showed no reaction to my mother's tears whatsoever. She has been talking to her real father though through Facebook. And he is a part of her very extremely abusive original family. And her worker is encouraging her to talk to her dad so that she can "work out her issues with them." And by talking to him she has become 1000 times worse than she ever was. And he is telling her to actually misbehave. He told her that when she was little too when she still had contact with him. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 And her father tells her lies all the time. He told her that when she was born she was so small she fit into the palm of his hand and they had to feed her with an eyedropper.* Snort*. That is utterly ridiculous. First off they don't feed babies with eyedroppers. And second of all she was 9 1/2 pounds at birth. My mother has seen the records in her file. So my mother told her to ask her worker what was the truth because she said she didn't know who to believe her dad or my mom. And her worker told her she was 9 1/2 pounds and they don't let a baby out of the hospital who fits in the palm of the hand and nor did they feed babies with eyedroppers. I mean good grief I was 4 pounds at birth and they didn't feed me with an eyedropper. And my mother told her L was 4 pounds at birth and she didn't fit into the palm of the hand and nor did I feed her with an eyedropper. Link to comment
oitnb Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 So she was apparently born at four months into pregnancy according to her father? 0.o wow, he sounds like a real tool. He's obviously manipulating her, I don't know why her worker would encourage her to talk to him b Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 So she was apparently born at four months into pregnancy according to her father? 0.o wow, he sounds like a real tool. He's obviously manipulating her, I don't know why her worker would encourage her to talk to him b Oh yeah the guy is a child abusing tool but they want her to work out her psychological issues and to do that she needs to be in contact with those people in her family who are still alive blah blah blah...... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 And because she's going to be 16 we have no right not to tell her to not do anything. She has rights according to the Ministry of Health and CAS. Which of course I believe that children should have rights. However I do believe they take it to the extreme and they don't give the families that they live with any tools and give them less rights than what the children have. For example it is her right to go and have sex with anybody she wants or as many people as she wants. They have told my mother she can't say one thing about it. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 And the other line that her worker uses all the time is ,"that most of this is just teenage stuff." And my mother has said," you know I have raised three teenagers and I have four teenage grandchildren and I don't see any of this "stuff." Link to comment
oitnb Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Oh yeah the guy is a child abusing tool but they want her to work out her psychological issues and to do that she needs to be in contact with those people in her family who are still alive blah blah blah...... Have they even done any research into child psychology?! Obviously, even to simple old me who doesn't know much about it, it's not healthy for a child to reconnect with an abuser if they're still manipulating them. Wow. Has your mom ever considered adopting her? So she can have more say, make her go to therapy, ect? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 Have they even done any research into child psychology?! Obviously, even to simple old me who doesn't know much about it, it's not healthy for a child to reconnect with an abuser if they're still manipulating them. Wow. Has your mom ever considered adopting her? So she can have more say, make her go to therapy, ect? No they cannot adopt her because her father could have the opportunity to reclaim his rights. And she was deemed unadoptable at seven. They considered adopting her when she was small but they were told to not even try because her father even though he signed her off could come back and try and claim her. She lived with my parents from 2 1/2 until she was five then she was returned to her parents at five years old and was taken back into care at seven and came back to live with our family when she was seven and this week she will be 16. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 I am watching a very intriguing documentary on seven mysteries of the life of Jesus Christ. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 Today R went back to work after some of his holidays. He only used four of his 26 days but got 12 days off because of the way the shifts work. And the working 4 on 4 off seems to be working out as well. A while ago he asked me if I could handle him going to Box Top. I said go ahead because I have a lot of support here. Unfortunately Box Top is in October which is little R's birthday and Thanksgiving. Box Top is what they call our resupply missions to our arctic base. Our resupply crew doesn't actually stay in Alert they stay in Thule. I should be able to handle his going away because I could handle it two years ago when I was right in the throes of my complete breakdown and was a total basket case. If I could do it then I can do it now. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 I seem to be handling the summer humidity well. There are no crushing feelings of dread. I am so excited about this improvement! The only time I really had crushing feelings of dread about the weather this summer was driving home from my mom's the other day but the clouds were hanging so low and there was a fog and pouring rain and everything just seem ed kind of closed in. But I think that would disturb anyone. Slowly piece by piece I am reclaiming where I was. Maybe if I had realized after Liam died that I was unraveling I wouldn't have fallen so far. But hindsight is always 20/20. And I can't change anything about the past I can only move forward. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 I wonder how long it takes to get blood results back. My Pap results were back in less than a week. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 link removed The study results appear today in Pediatrics. Addressing a great unmet need Previous research has clearly shown that mothers of children with autism experience more stress, depression and poorer health than is typical of mothers in general. Similar reports from parents inspired Autism Speaks 100 Day Tool Kit, which helps families through the particularly stressful first three months after a child’s diagnosis. (The kit, which has been downloaded more than 100,000 times, is available free of charge here.) Depression and high stress also decrease a mother’s ability to deliver the home interventions that are an important part of most autism behavioral programs. Yet there has been relatively little research on how best to ease parental stress related to having a child with autism. Training moms to help moms In the new study, the researchers arranged training for several volunteer moms, who each ran one of two types of stress-reduction classes. Both programs involved six weekly 1.5 hour classes. One focused on mindfulness training. This involves techniques such as deep breathing, guided relaxation and nonjudgmental monitoring of thoughts. The other program took a "positive psychology" approach. It emphasized dealing with feelings of guilt and worry by developing character strengths and using mental exercises focused on gratitude, forgiveness and optimism. The researchers randomly assigned 243 mothers to attend one or the other program. Two-thirds of these moms (158) had a child with autism. The others had a child with another developmental disability or psychiatric disorder. Evaluations conducted during and after the study showed that the moms benefited from either program. They had lower levels of stress, anxiety and depression, along with improved sleep and life satisfaction. They also had fewer “dysfunctional,” or unhelpful and negative, interactions with their children. However, the mothers who completed the mindfulness program showed greater improvements in depression, anxiety, sleep and life satisfaction. “The parents of children with autism spend huge amounts of time and energy on their children's behalf and can be incredibly stressed both physically and emotionally. They are true heroes to their families,” comments Paul Wang, Autism Speaks senior vice president for medical research. “This study shows the potential for simple interventions, led by other parents, to decrease that stress and improve parents’ mental health. In these and other ways, our AS-ATN centers are working with parents and families to find the best ways to support them and help ensure the best outcomes all around.” Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 The little black cat I wanted to adopt found a home last week. That is so good for her! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 Oh my God child ,seriously?! My son is crazy about getting the starter kit for this pack of cards. He has literally been nagging me every hour since yesterday. Even woke me up this morning to nag further about it. Kid, you keep this up you're not getting anything. Very seldom does he get like this but seriously! I get this poke in the back ,mom mom mom about those cards blah blah blah blah blah blah.......R, now just STOP! You had to wake me up about this now? Stop, really. Two nights ago he woke me up at one in the morning to ask if he could get a bankcard. Ahhhhhhh child! Link to comment
luminousone Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Oh my God child ,seriously?! My son is crazy about getting the starter kit for this pack of cards. He has literally been nagging me every hour since yesterday. Even woke me up this morning to nag further about it. Kid, you keep this up you're not getting anything. Very seldom does he get like this but seriously! I get this poke in the back ,mom mom mom about those cards blah blah blah blah blah blah.......R, now just STOP! You had to wake me up about this now? Stop, really. Two nights ago he woke me up at one in the morning to ask if he could get a bankcard. Ahhhhhhh child! Lol... Sounds like my son. They get on a mission and won't be deterred until they accomplish it. Now my older son texts me about his missions in the middle of the night instead. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 Lol... Sounds like my son. They get on a mission and won't be deterred until they accomplish it. Now my older son texts me about his missions in the middle of the night instead. Oh my gosh it's crazy isn't it?! Lol Anyway today I got him his blessed cards. Today was uniform day at school from 1 to 8. So I had myself there at 12:30 I like to be first in line because I had no plans of standing out in the sun at almost 100°. He got 2 of the new red tops one long sleeve one short sleeve and a pair shorts. He already has three pairs of dress pants and six other tops. While I was there I met one of the mothers from my ASD group and her son is starting high school next year or in a few years and I told her I would give all the uniforms to her. Uniforms are so expensive you might as well hand them down to someone else. And little R's uniforms are pretty much perfect. At the end of this coming school year I was going to cough them up for the used sale anyway. I can't believe it though he still wears the same pants that he wore in grade 9. They had the air conditioning turned off in the school and I swear to God after 10 minutes I had sweat pouring down my neck and back. I am sure big R is sweating his biscuits out there in that hanger today. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 My son is interested now in getting a girlfriend.....OOOOOOOooooooooo. I am resisting the urge to set him up with a girl. The daughter of my husband's friend is very cute and sweet. That is my husband's friend who has cancer her daughter is the cutest thing. And she's also Acadian which is another plus. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 [video=youtube_share;phUwXFcnaL0] ] Link to comment
Fudgie Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 I'm glad your son is showing some interest in girls. My brother is very behind on his sexual development. He has a very strange fetish that he has told me about. (don't want to say here, it's weird, PM me if you want). I am truly not sure if he will ever find someone and that makes me kind of sad. Link to comment
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