ladeedah Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I started going out with a guy and over the span of only one week we had 4 very long, intense dates, One day was 8 hours, another was 5 hours,, another was 4 he cam eover till 130 am and we didnt kiss yet, but we hug each other and hold hands. We talk alot!! He told me he is trying to change his view of dating because he used to be a player and now really wants to settle down and get married, he wants to start off as friends and build on it slowly and naturally instead of rushing into bed with a girl.. He is 40, i am 35. I left to go on a business trip for a couple of weeks and even though we both agreed it was good to have some space because this all happened so fast, Im a little hurt that he only wrote to me once in the week i have been gone. Should i assume his silence means he is not interested in me anymore? Or is he just processing his feelings? Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Wait a minute. He's abiding by your mutually-agreed contact details. Why are you hurt? Why are you insecure? Was he supposed to be sitting at an oak desk, writing sonnets by candlelight the whole time? I'm almost certain that he's fine. You, however, need to calm down and breathe. Link to comment
wantingsomuch Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I agree... If he said he is trying to move slow, this is probably his definition of that. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Well aside from him writing to you once, have you tried to get in contact with him? Link to comment
RedDress Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 ... at an oak desk, writing sonnets... LOL! I agree. It's only been a week, you have agreed to take it slow and you are on a business trip! Aren't you busy doing business stuff? He's probably just giving you your space to do what you need to do. If you'd like to talk to him more... why not initiate? Link to comment
99ProblemsBut Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 ... at an oak desk, writing sonnets... LOL! I agree. It's only been a week, you have agreed to take it slow and you are on a business trip! Aren't you busy doing business stuff? He's probably just giving you your space to do what you need to do. If you'd like to talk to him more... why not initiate? Exactly. Question though, since he responded only once, did you respond to his response? If you didn't respond to his response, wouldn't that be awkward if he sent you several messages in the week? OR- are you upset he messaged you after a week, and not before that? If that's the case, I'm sure he thinks your on business, probably busy, so he doesn't want to disturb you. I'd appreciate a girl that respected the fact that I'm on a business trip, knowing I am going to be busy; so she messages me on the weekend, thinking I have some down time and I won't be disturbing. This guy is actually pretty thoughtful, if you think about it. Link to comment
Kalika Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 He used to be a player, and he's announcing this to you why???? I would put the brakes on and look at him really, really objectively. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 He's either: 1 - giving you space while on your business trip (you DID both agree to give each other space, correct?) 2 - repacing the dating (which, despite him saying he wants to chill out, isn't exactly the illustration of having 4 intense dates in a 7 day period, so he could be resetting things) 3 - dating others (as you should be as well, since after a week, you're not exclusive) 4 - lost interest Remember - guys fall for us during the spaces (time we're apart) whereas we do during the time we're together. Live your life and this will fall into place. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Remember - guys fall for us during the spaces (time we're apart) whereas we do during the time we're together. Live your life and this will fall into place. I love this and this is the advice to remember. Don't make space something bad. Be independent and know that if he is the right one for you, then he'll miss you. Link to comment
99ProblemsBut Posted February 22, 2011 Share Posted February 22, 2011 Remember - guys fall for us during the spaces (time we're apart) whereas we do during the time we're together. Live your life and this will fall into place. That's an interesting point, is this really true? Link to comment
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