Betrayed........please help

[sonja]

I just found out that my bf had been cheating on me even when we were together. Some of you who have read my previous posts already know that I was in a relationship with this guy for the past one year and I broke up with him because things didn't feel that same. But I could never imagine that he would do this to me. All this while I had this faint ray of hope that things will turn in my favor eventually, that we will get back together again. Now i am shattered. I don't know what to do. I feel betrayed. I feel angry. But most of all, I feel hurt, very hurt.

sonja

[Quill]

I'm sorry for your pain Sonja.... betrayel is a difficult emotion to get through, but get through it you will... with time. Obviously you broke up because you instinctively sensed this man was not the one for you.... I understand your pain, but try to remind yourself of that fact, often. Be thankful you no longer relate with him on an emotional or physical level... jump for joy!, he is not the one for you!, better to find out now than many, many years from now.

 

Personally I would cut ALL my ties with him in no uncertain terms... as hard as that may be, it's a necessary step in healing and moving on... unless of course you consider someone who is a liar and a cheat worthy of friendship. You don't need someone like this in your life... he's certainly not the person you thought he was and that, is the painful part but it's also reality. Don't look back!.

[Suzanne1281]

Hi Sonja!

I know what you are going through because I am going through it myself, though I was only with my ex for a few months. I broke up wiht him because I knew he was sleeping at another girl's house and lying to me about it. It was so hard and so painful and I am still in a lot of pain a month later.

After two weeks I talked to my ex and we agreed to meet b/c he wanted to "explain things" and I just wanted to forgive and forget-I didn't want to walk around with that anger and hurt. However, my plan backfired because after seeing him, the butterflies came back in my stomach and he told me how he still wanted to see me and missed me and was dumb for what he did (even though he does not completely admit to cheating). We ended up kissing and saying we missed each other. However, it got much worse because afterwards, he didn't call, he cheated again. So if you do want to forgive him and move on, I say it is ok to do it in your heart. If you are going to see him, be very very careful. I think you shouldn't have contact for a while. Time will cool you down.

Just remember, unless he is truly truly sorry and busts his arse to prove to you that you can trust him, do not go back to him. I only got hurt when I tried to make friends with Kris.

I can't give you all the advice you are looking for b/c I am still going through the healing process. But remember that if he is with the girl he cheated on you with, he WILL end up cheating on her too, why wouldn't he? Nothing good comes of a relationship that starts as cheating and a lie. He will realize one day what he lost in you.

You were right to break up with him the first time. Trust your instincts not your emotions. I know I learned that. I'll make a deal with you, if I can get through this, then you will too. STay strong girl! You are a beautiful, strong woman who will get her prince in time. We just have to kiss a lot of toads before we finally get that prince.

[Trinity1607306450]

Hello again Sonja

 

All I can say is thank GOD you left when you did .. you trusted your

instincts and I'm so glad that you did.

Yes as the previous poster said JUMP FOR JOY .. think of the pain and

anguish if this relationship lasted longer than it had .. I know it hurts ..

you wouldn't be human if it didn't. But try to keep things in perspective,

as difficult as that can be. Keep us posted on here and keep your chin

up .. brighter days are ahead for you .. I can feel it.

Take care hon.