capuccino83 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 No, absolutely not, if I am not attracted to someone, I am not attracted. Someone is going to have to settle for my looks if they aren't attracted to me, not the other way around. I will NEVER settle for a guy I'm not attracted to. I am not attracted to 99.8% of the male population. It is REALLY bad for me. I think most guys are very unattractive. I can't settle, I literally cannot. But I'm basically asking whoever I am attracted to, to settle for me. If looks is the problem. IMO this is a very poor approach to love and dating. What if you're only attracted to d-bags? Or don't have the looks to pull that .2% of the population. Spend your life single or in drama relationships because you can't get over yourself? Link to comment
superfox Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I went out with my last guy on the strength of his personality, it was an online date and he showed up at my door a good 5 inches shorter than he said he was. He was chunkier (fat, not muscle) than I'd thought, definitely a bit of ginger despite him being adamant it was 'brown' and was balding. I spent a good hour thinking ' * * * have I got myself into here' then I relaxed and got on with the date. We ended up going out for a couple of months in the end but I wouldn't have considered him at all if he'd approached me in a bar. I HATED his clothes, way too 'preppy' for me but never said a word, would sometimes feel embarrassed holding his hand as I was taller than him and our 'gait' was all wrong (he took little steps and it was like walking my son to school). But I liked him. We had nothing in common music or film wise and his politics made Hitler look liberal. Which had a lot to do with ending it, unfortunately he dumped me first Hahaah!!! Moral of this story? The uglys can dump too Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 People are always saying that I should, since I'm a 28 year old virgin. However, I'd rather be alone than be with someone I'm not attracted to. Link to comment
capuccino83 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 People are always saying that I should, since I'm a 28 year old virgin. However, I'd rather be alone than be with someone I'm not attracted to. Aren't you the guy that's always commenting how you can't find anyone too? I'm sorry but I just don't understand this mentality of I'd rather be alone and lonely and continuously get rejected rather than try to get over myself and give someone, although perhaps not naturally my first choice, a chance because they could be a wonderful person and make me very happy. Looks do fade, you realize. Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Aren't you the guy that's always commenting how you can't find anyone too? I'm sorry but I just don't understand this mentality of I'd rather be alone and lonely and continuously get rejected rather than try to get over myself and give someone, although perhaps not naturally my first choice, a chance because they could be a wonderful person and make me very happy. Looks do fade, you realize. I might as well just accept that I'm never going to have sex then. Unless it's with a hooker, and me being Christian, that's not going to happen. I definitely see the 40 year old virgin being in my future... Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 IMO this is a very poor approach to love and dating. What if you're only attracted to d-bags? Or don't have the looks to pull that .2% of the population. Spend your life single or in drama relationships because you can't get over yourself? This was extremely rude, thanks. Like everyone else said, it's my life and I cannot and will not be with someone I'm not physically attracted to. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 If you're only attracted to .2% of the population, then I think you should work on that or else you won't ever be happy. I'm not saying that to be mean or anything...just look at the population and the stats! The odds are against you no matter WHAT you look like. Most people are average. True fact. The good news is, you can help who you're attracted to, somewhat. This is why many girls love bad boys in HS but grow out of that when they are older. They end being attracted to better men. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 If you're only attracted to .2% of the population, then I think you should work on that or else you won't ever be happy. I'm not saying that to be mean or anything...just look at the population and the stats! The odds are against you no matter WHAT you look like. Most people are average. True fact. The good news is, you can help who you're attracted to, somewhat. This is why many girls love bad boys in HS but grow out of that when they are older. They end being attracted to better men. No, I cannot help who I'm attracted to. When my eyeballs register to my brain that a guy is unattractive, that doesn't change. Maybe if the guy grew his hair out, lost weight, was only a white guy (I only like white guys) and started dressing better, then maybe. But if a guy is a nerd, he's a nerd. I tend to like the personality of a "bad boy". It doesnt' seem "bad". It seems like, "hey, I know who I am and what I want". Someone who rolls over and plays dead at the drop of a pin is not a "better man" to me, that's called a push over and I don't want a puppy dog at my door. I want a Walk To Remember type romance, where the "bad boy" falls for the "good girl". 'Cause most girls are "good girls" and most "normal" men are "bad boys". Unless they're nerds and pushovers. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 P.S. The guy I like is "average", he's just really above average to me. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I find nerds a lot more attractive. =/ I'm really nerdy and I don't see how that's a bad thing. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 P.S. The guy I like is "average", he's just really above average to me. Well, there you go. You have the potential to like average guys. It's not like the guy you like is a supermodel or anything. It's a combination of you finding him attractive and who he is as a person that makes you like him. But the fact that he's generally pretty "average" shows that you are not indeed limited by anything but yourself. And yes, CC, nerdiness is awesome. I consider myself nerdy and I love it. I also tend to date nerds. They are the best! Link to comment
LightbulbSun Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 On the contrary, most guys are big nerds. The ones that are 100% bad boy are pretty rare. OTOH, a lot of guys use Pickup artist books to gain the skills to *pass* as a bad boy, at least for a while. What was it that the author of "No More Mr. Nice Guy" called PUAs? *Nerds with tricks.* Now, if you want a nice, normal guy, you might have to settle for a boring nerd. But at least you will know he's either not a jerk at heart (and probably violent, as well), or that he's not some passive nerd who just manages to *fool* you into thinking he's a bad boy. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I never thought of nerds as "boring" in the least! I always tend to date "nerds" and I never think I'm settling. I like them because I have a lot more in common with them. Movies, technology, musical tastes...it all fits. That being said, there's a mix of people. Some of the most exciting, cool people I know are considered "nerds". Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I never thought of nerds as "boring" in the least! I always tend to date "nerds" and I never think I'm settling. I like them because I have a lot more in common with them. Movies, technology, musical tastes...it all fits. That being said, there's a mix of people. Some of the most exciting, cool people I know are considered "nerds". Yeah, seriously. When nerdy friends and I get together, that's when all the fun and wild parties start. We completely reject the idea of trying to look/act cool. It makes for a lot of jokes and general shenanigans. Have you seen the pranks pulled by MIT on Harvard? Classics. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Yeah, seriously. When nerdy friends and I get together, that's when all the fun and wild parties start. We completely reject the idea of trying to look/act cool. It makes for a lot of jokes and general shenanigans. Have you seen the pranks pulled by MIT on Harvard? Classics. I know!!! Nerds ROCK! My best friend is a nerd and we have a great time together. My boyfriend is a nerd too and he's great. They really do come up with the best pranks, haha. Very clever. I went to a really "nerdy" private school for MS/HS and I'll tell you, there was ALWAYS something going on. It was so exciting to be there. Link to comment
strange brew Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 First time I met my long distance boyfriend I was like, "what the heck, he looks like he's doing drugs". When he asked me out, I thought "no, absolutely no" since I didn't like him at all physically, I just liked our conversations. He then told me that he would come to visit me in my hometown and maybe spend sometime together and I told me "I don't care do what you want". Despite the fact that I didn't like him at all at first, and that he seemed a little strange to me, I spend some time with him, deciding to give him a chance, for the sake of the whole conversations thing, and out of nowhere I was in a ldr, and I liked it. So, yeah I tried it and while the time was passing, I realized that "me, not liking him" was over. I started appreciating his interest for me, and I can say I'm in love. Link to comment
capuccino83 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I didn't say that to be rude or mean, obviously it's your life and you can do whatever you want. However, sometimes, people do need to be reminded that what happens on the TV is not what happens in real life. Movies are fantasies and escapes for people - if they weren't, Hollywood wouldn't be making billions of dollars. As someone who has tried to turn the *bad* guy good, I can tell you that most the time the only thing you end up is with a big headache and several months of your life wasted. Link to comment
sidehop Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 I'm assuming you're not looking for anything long term? Sure it's your life but what you're saying is very contradicting to the type of men you are attracted to. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 A Walk to Remember sort of stuff never really happens. Sorry to say. I had a romance pretty darn close to it in high school and yeah, trust me, they don't work out. In the end, "good girl" values don't mesh with "bad boy" values. They break up. If you're looking for something dependable and long term, bad boys won't cut it. Link to comment
DreamerGirl27 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 then I guess I'm never getting married Link to comment
MD Geist Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I find nerds a lot more attractive. =/ I'm really nerdy and I don't see how that's a bad thing. I don't see why thats a bad thing to be nerdy. What other options are out there? Being flashy and fake? Id rather be with a nerd than a party girl. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I don't see why thats a bad thing to be nerdy. What other options are out there? Being flashy and fake? Id rather be with a nerd than a party girl. Ha ha what if the girl is both? You got yourself a hybrid, MD Geist! Link to comment
Lady Rashomon Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Ha ha what if the girl is both? You got yourself a hybrid, MD Geist! Tee hee. I'm a complete and utter nerd, but I also love to let loose and have a good time, so I think I fit the bill. Link to comment
sidehop Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Nothing wrong with nerds, in fact without them you wouldn't have your fancy phone and computer but best of all, they can be your tech support, graphic designer and personal search engine all in one. Link to comment
captchapitcha Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I think if you are "neutral" about someone's looks when you start, it's fine. Give it some time. I've done it before and it worked fine for me. However if you're actually repulsed and/or can't ever see yourself being intimate EVER with him, then no, I don't thimk it would work and it's time to go. This sounds right. Link to comment
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